Month: April 2023

Stages of Accepting a Chronic Illness: A Comprehensive Guide

Posted on April 26, 2023 by Pat - Gettiing to Acceptance

You have just been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. At first, you are in denial and you are probably reeling. What does this mean? How will this impact me and my family? Am I going to die? What will I lose?

Most of the time you don’t hear anything after being told a diagnosis. Your brain is protecting you. At this moment, you cannot handle or process anything else. Shock, disbelief, and anger are usually what emotions you will deal with first.

The same thing happens when you or a loved one gets a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, Cancer, or any other life-changing diagnosis. It sucks! Sometimes, you do feel relief because you at least have a diagnosis and now you know.

The Five Stages of Grief are not only for the death of a loved one. You will go through these stages with a loss of anything. No, they won’t be in order. No, you do not go through them once and then you are done with them. You will keep moving through them or back and forth until you get to acceptance. Even when you get to acceptance, you will go back and forth sometimes.

Grieve your loss. Explore what your new normal is. Learn how to manage your illness. Never, ever give up hope for feeling better and getting better. Accepting your diagnosis does not mean you give up.

Coping with a Chronic Illness

Coping with a chronic illness can be a challenging and emotional journey. You may experience a range of emotions, from denial and anger to depression and acceptance. It’s important to understand that these emotions are normal and part of the process of coming to terms with a chronic illness.

The first stage of accepting a chronic illness is denial. You may find it hard to believe that you have a chronic illness or may try to ignore the symptoms. This is a defense mechanism that helps you cope with the shock of the diagnosis. However, it’s important to acknowledge the reality of your situation and seek medical help.

Once you move past denial, you may experience feelings of anger and frustration. You may feel like you’ve been dealt an unfair hand or wonder why this is happening to you. These emotions are normal and can help you process your diagnosis. However, it’s important not to get stuck in this stage and to seek support to help you move forward.

Denial

When you first receive a diagnosis of a chronic illness, it is common to experience a sense of disbelief or denial. You may find yourself thinking, “This can’t be happening to me,” or “There must be some mistake.” This is a natural response to the shock of receiving unexpected news about your health.

During the denial stage, you may feel a sense of detachment from your diagnosis. You may avoid thinking about your illness or refuse to acknowledge that it is a part of your life. It is important to remember that denial is a normal part of the process of accepting a chronic illness. However, it is also important to move through this stage and begin to face the reality of your situation. You will deal with the many effects of a chronic illness. You will feel like you’re on a roller coaster.

One way to move through the denial stage is to seek out information about your illness. Learning more about your condition can help you to understand what is happening in your body and what you can do to manage your symptoms. It can also help you to feel more in control of your situation and to help you feel empowered.

Another way to move through the denial stage is to talk to others about your illness. Sharing your feelings with family, friends, or a support group can help you to process your emotions and come to terms with your diagnosis. It can also help you to feel less isolated and alone. I will caution you that it is easy to stay stuck in the complaining stage. You have to be aware of what you are focusing on. What is getting your energy? Are you focusing on actively managing your illness or just bitching about it?

Anger

When you receive a chronic illness diagnosis, it’s normal to feel a range of emotions, including anger. You may feel angry at yourself, the world, or even your loved ones. It’s important to recognize and acknowledge your anger, as it’s a natural part of the grieving process.

During this stage, you may feel frustrated, irritable, or resentful. You may even direct your anger toward your healthcare providers or the people around you. It’s important to remember that your anger is not wrong or bad, but it’s important to express it in a healthy way. Try your best to remember that you are angry at the situation and not those around you.

One way to manage your anger is to practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation. You can also try a physical activity, such as exercise or yoga, to help release your anger in a healthy way. Additionally, talking to a therapist or joining a support group can provide a safe space to express your anger and work through your emotions. Talk therapy does help you work through these difficult emotions. Learn to manage stress.

Bargaining

During the bargaining stage, you may try to negotiate with yourself, God, or your higher power, or your healthcare provider to reverse or delay the diagnosis. You may say things like “If only I had done things differently,” or “If I make these changes, then maybe I can avoid this illness.”

It’s important to remember that bargaining is a normal part of the acceptance process. However, it’s also important to recognize that bargaining is often a futile exercise. Chronic illnesses are often not reversible, and delaying treatment can lead to further complications. Ask your doctor what are the next steps. Ask what this chronic illness affects.

Instead of bargaining, focus on finding ways to manage your illness and improve your quality of life. This may involve making lifestyle changes, seeking support from loved ones or support groups, or working with your healthcare provider to find the best treatment plan for you.

Remember that it’s okay to feel angry, sad, or frustrated during this stage.
Try to focus on what you can control, rather than what you can’t.
Be open to trying different coping strategies, such as meditation, therapy, or journaling.

Ultimately, the bargaining stage is about finding a sense of control and hope in a difficult situation. While it may be tempting to try to bargain your way out of your illness, accepting your diagnosis and focusing on managing your symptoms can help you live a fulfilling life. Learn to live your best life.

Depression

It is common to experience depression when dealing with a chronic illness. You may feel sad, hopeless, or helpless due to the changes in your life and the uncertainty of the future. Depression can make it difficult to complete daily tasks, and it can negatively impact your relationships and overall quality of life. This freaking diagnosis will not go away and can disrupt your daily routine.

It is important to recognize the symptoms of depression and seek treatment. Some symptoms of depression include:

Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
Feeling hopeless or pessimistic
Feeling irritable, easily frustrated, or restless
Feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
Decreased energy, fatigue, or feeling “slowed down”
Withdrawing from friends or social activities

If you are experiencing depression, it is important to talk to your healthcare provider. They can recommend treatment options such as therapy, medication, or a combination of both. It is also important to take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and staying active.

Remember that depression is a common and treatable condition. Seeking help is a sign of strength, and it can help you manage your chronic illness and improve your overall well-being. Regain a sense of control and improve your quality of life.

Acceptance

After experiencing the various stages of grief, you may eventually reach a stage of acceptance. Acceptance does not mean that you are okay with having a chronic illness, but rather that you have come to terms with the reality of your situation. Acceptance allows you to focus on moving forward and adapting to your new normal.

During the acceptance stage, it is important to acknowledge and express your feelings. It is okay to feel sad or angry about your situation, but it is also important to find ways to cope with these emotions. This may involve talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or practicing self-care activities such as meditation or exercise.

Another important aspect of acceptance is recognizing that your chronic illness does not define you. You are still the same person you were before your diagnosis, with unique skills, talents, and qualities. It may take time to adjust to your new limitations, but with patience and perseverance, you can still achieve your goals and pursue your passions.

It is also important to educate yourself about your illness and to communicate openly with your healthcare team. This can help you better understand your condition and make informed decisions about your treatment options. Additionally, staying proactive about your health can help you feel more in control and empowered. Design a treatment plan to meet your specific needs.

Ultimately, acceptance is a process that looks different for everyone. It may take time to reach this stage, and that’s okay. Remember to be patient with yourself and to seek support when needed. With time and effort, you can learn to live a fulfilling life despite your chronic illness.

Living with a chronic illness

Accepting a chronic illness is not easy, but it is a necessary step toward living a fulfilling life. It is important to understand that the process of acceptance is not linear and can vary from person to person. You may go through different stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

During the process of acceptance, it is important to seek support from loved ones, healthcare professionals, and support groups. You can also try different coping strategies, such as mindfulness, meditation, and journaling, to help you manage your emotions and improve your overall well-being. While you may feel a loss, remember your loved ones are feeling it too. It does become a family health and quality of life issue.

Remember that accepting your chronic illness does not mean giving up on your dreams or goals. You can still live a meaningful life by focusing on what you can do rather than what you cannot do. You may need to make some adjustments to your lifestyle, but with time and patience, you can find new ways to pursue your passions and interests.

It is important to be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Living with a chronic illness can be challenging, and it is okay to have bad days. Remember that you are not alone, and there are many resources available to help you cope with your illness. By accepting your chronic illness, you can take control of your life and work towards your best quality of life.

Empowering Health Options can help you when you feel stuck and are ready to move forward.

Pat

Coping with a Chronic Illness Diagnosis: Expert Tips and Strategies

Posted on April 20, 2023 by Pat - Chronic Illness Diagnosis

Being diagnosed with a chronic illness can be a life-changing experience. It can leave you feeling overwhelmed, scared, and uncertain about the future. Coping with the diagnosis and managing the symptoms can be daunting, but it is important to remember that you are not alone.

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with any of these, you have a chronic illness/disease:

Alzheimer’s disease
Dementia
Parkinson’s disease
Migraine
Depression
Chronic pain
Fibromyalgia
Arthritis
Diabetes
CKD (Chronic Kidney Disease)
COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease
Cancer
Heart Disease
Obesity
Osteoporosis
Crohn’s disease
Multiple Sclerosis
Mood Disorders
Epilepsy
Cystic Fibrosis
Asthma
High Blood Pressure
Heart Disease
HIV/AIDS
AFib (Atrial fibrillation)
Substance misuse or abuse disorders

Learning how to cope with a long-term health condition is a process that takes time and effort. It involves making lifestyle changes, seeking support from loved ones, and developing coping strategies that work for you. It is important to take an active role in managing your health and working with your healthcare team to develop a treatment plan that fits your needs.

While the effects of a chronic illness can be stressful and challenging, it is important to remember that it does not define who you are. With the right support and resources, you can learn to manage your condition and live a fulfilling life. Your life isn;t going to be the same as it was, but you can still have a good quality of life. In this article, we will explore some tips and strategies for coping with a chronic illness diagnosis, so you can take control of your health and well-being. You are a person that has “X” diagnosis, but you are not the diagnosis.

Understanding the Diagnosis of Chronic Illness

Being diagnosed with a chronic illness can be overwhelming and emotional. Understanding the diagnosis is an important step in coping with your illness. You will deal with many effects of a chronic illness and learning to manage stress will improve your quality of life. You can learn new ways of dealing with the effects of chronic illness. Work with your providers to design a treatment plan to meet your specific needs.

What is a Chronic Illness?

A chronic illness is a long-term medical condition that requires ongoing management and treatment. Chronic illnesses can affect various parts of the body, including the heart, lungs, kidneys, and brain. They can also impact your quality of life and daily activities. Examples of chronic illnesses include diabetes, cancer, arthritis, and heart disease.

Symptoms of a few of the Chronic Illnesses

The symptoms of chronic illnesses can vary depending on the type of illness and the severity of the condition. Some common symptoms include:

Illness	Symptoms
Diabetes	Increased thirst, frequent urination, blurred vision, fatigue
Cancer	Unexplained weight loss, fatigue, pain, changes in skin color or texture
Arthritis	Joint pain, stiffness, swelling, decreased range of motion
Heart Disease	Chest pain or discomfort, shortness of breath, fatigue, dizziness
COPD	Coughing, wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness
Asthma	Coughing, wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness
MS	Fatigue, numbness or tingling in limbs, muscle weakness, difficulty with coordination or balance
Lupus	Fatigue, joint pain, skin rashes, fever
Alzheimer’s Disease	Memory loss, difficulty with language, disorientation, mood swings

Coping Strategies when you feel Overwhelmed

Receiving a chronic illness diagnosis can be overwhelming, but there are strategies that can help you cope with the challenges ahead. Too often you withdraw from friends and social activities. Yes, you need time to deal with the range of emotions that you are going through after being told of your diagnosis. Problems arise when you keep isolating yourself. Sometimes, you may want to share your diagnosis with a few people and sometimes you want to keep it private until you can wrap your head around what is happening.

Developing a Support System

Building a support system is crucial when coping with a chronic illness diagnosis. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you and understand your situation can help you feel less isolated and overwhelmed. Reach out to family, friends, or support groups for people with similar conditions. Regain a sense of control by managing the disease. Give yourself permission to live your best life.

It’s important to communicate your needs and feelings to your loved ones. They may not always know how to help, so be specific about what you need from them. This can include practical support like help with household chores or emotional support like a listening ear. Let them know if you are venting or if you actually want some help or ideas.

Managing Stress

Stress can exacerbate symptoms of chronic illness, so it’s important to find ways to manage it. Consider relaxation techniques like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga. Regular exercise can also help reduce stress and improve overall health.

It’s important to avoid negative coping mechanisms like alcohol or substance abuse. Instead, try to pursue activities that bring you joy and relaxation, like reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature.

Maintaining a Healthy Lifestyle

While a chronic illness diagnosis can make it challenging to maintain a healthy lifestyle, it’s important to prioritize your physical health. This can include following a nutritious diet, getting regular exercise, and getting enough sleep.

It’s also important to manage any symptoms or complications of your illness. This may involve taking medications as prescribed, attending regular medical appointments, and making lifestyle changes to manage your symptoms. Your lifestyle and relationships may change a little.

Finding Meaning and Purpose

A chronic illness diagnosis can make finding meaning and purpose in life challenging. However, it’s important to focus on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. This may involve pursuing hobbies or creative activities, volunteering, or spending time with loved ones.

It’s also important to set goals and focus on the things you can control. This can help you feel a sense of accomplishment and purpose, even in the face of a chronic illness. This will also provide you with a better sense of control and improve your quality of life.

Seeking Professional Help (Give yourself permission to do this)

Managing a chronic illness can be challenging, and it’s important to seek professional help when needed. This may involve working with a therapist to manage the emotional impacts of your illness or working with a healthcare provider to manage your symptoms and complications.

Remember, coping with a chronic illness diagnosis is a journey, and it’s important to be patient and kind to yourself along the way. With the right strategies and support, you can learn to manage the challenges of your illness and live a fulfilling life. Everyone deserves the best quality of life possible for them.

Practical Tips for Daily Living With Chronic Illness

When you receive a chronic illness diagnosis, trying to navigate the changes that come with it can be overwhelming. Here are some practical tips to help you manage your daily life:

Managing Medications

Keeping track of medications can be challenging, especially if you have multiple prescriptions. Consider using a pill organizer to help you keep track of what you need to take and when. You can also set reminders on your phone or computer to help you remember to take your medication on time.

It’s important to communicate with your healthcare provider about any side effects or concerns you may have with your medication. They may be able to adjust your dosage or switch to a different medication that works better for you.

Adapting Your Home

Your home may need to be adapted to accommodate your new needs. Consider installing grab bars in the bathroom or shower to help prevent falls. You may also need to rearrange furniture to make it easier to move around with mobility aids such as a walker or wheelchair.

Make sure your home is well-lit to help prevent accidents. You can also consider adding nightlights in hallways and bedrooms to help you navigate in the dark.

Managing Finances

A chronic illness can be expensive, so managing your finances carefully is important. Consider meeting with a financial advisor to help you create a budget and plan for medical expenses.

You may also want to look into financial assistance programs that can help cover the cost of medications and medical equipment.

Navigating the Healthcare System

It’s important to understand your healthcare coverage and benefits well. Make sure that you know what is covered by your insurance and what your out-of-pocket expenses will be.

You may also want to consider finding a healthcare advocate who can help you navigate the healthcare system and communicate with your healthcare providers.

Remember to be an active participant in your healthcare by asking questions and advocating for yourself. There will be times when you have to be like a dog with a bone to get things done. It will be exhausting and frustrating when you have to deal with the many moving parts of the healthcare system.

Maintaining Emotional Health

Being diagnosed with a chronic illness can be a difficult and emotional experience. It’s important to take care of your emotional health as well as your physical health. Here are some tips to help you maintain your emotional well-being:

Dealing with Grief and Loss

It’s normal to feel a sense of loss or grief after being diagnosed with a chronic illness. You may feel like your life has been turned upside down and that you’ve lost control. Allow yourself to grieve and process your emotions. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your feelings. Joining a support group can also be helpful, as you can connect with others who are going through similar experiences.

Managing Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety are common in people with chronic illnesses. It’s important to seek professional help if you’re experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety. Your doctor may be able to refer you to a mental health professional who can provide counseling or medication. In addition, practicing self-care can help manage symptoms. This includes getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

Cultivating Resilience and Hope

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficult experiences. Cultivating resilience can help you cope with the challenges of a chronic illness. One way to build resilience is to focus on the things that you can control. This may include taking your medication as prescribed, eating healthy meals, and engaging in activities that you enjoy. It’s also important to maintain a sense of hope. This can be difficult when you’re dealing with a chronic illness, but setting small goals and celebrating small victories can help you stay positive.

Pat

Caregivers and Care Partners Learning to Reframe

Posted on April 12, 2023 by Pat - Caregiver Tools

Caring for a loved one with dementia or mental illness can be emotionally and physically draining. It can be challenging for caregivers to manage their own feelings while providing the best care possible. One technique that can help caregivers is cognitive reframing (reframing) – the process of changing the way one thinks about a situation or problem. Reframing can help caregivers shift their focus from negative thoughts and emotions to more positive ones, making it easier to cope with the challenges of caregiving.

Family caregivers can use this tool as another coping strategy for stress management. By reducing your stress level you’ll be able to improve your caregiving experience. By learning cognitive reframing techniques, you are able to look at a situation differently. When you can slow down, just a little, you can look for other options or opportunities that you hadn’t thought of before. This slightly different perspective or a different way to look at a problem may help you a great deal during difficult situations. Anytime you can look at a situation from a different perspective it can open up more possibilities. Workplaces use this technique quite a lot when working on projects.

Think of your feelings as warning signals. They are alerting you to possible dangers. However, they do not get to determine what you do or how you act, you get to do that. Reframing is like that, too. You get to take a minute or two to look for strategies that can help. To consider the issue/problem. Reframing is not doing an analysis. It is about looking at the big picture and looking at things from different angles. We like to solve things, but are we solving the right problem? What if there is a better problem to solve than the one that seems to be causing an issue? Accept the reality as it is, right now. Feel your feeling and don’t quash them.

You can throw solutions at the problem you think you have and see if anything works or you can settle down and see if you have made assumptions about what the problem is. I know that sometimes, you just want things to work. I get it, but what if we could actually find the problem and address that issue so we don’t have to keep going on this merry-go-round?

It doesn’t have to take you a long time to assess and reframe. What are the impediments or barriers that may be blocking success? Focus on the “why is this happening” and not the “what is happening.” Brainstorm and come up with all kinds of ideas, especially crappy ones. Then you can start throwing out the things that are not feasible. What could make one of the crappy ideas work? Is it doable?

Is caregiving a burden or a kindness?

For example, instead of thinking of caregiving as a burden, reframing can help caregivers view it as an act of kindness towards their loved one. This can help them feel more positive and fulfilled in their role as a caregiver. Reframing can also help caregivers see their loved one’s behaviors in a different light. For instance, instead of feeling frustrated by a loved one’s repetitive behaviors, reframing can help the caregiver see it as a way for their loved one to feel safe and secure.

Reframing is a learned behavior and can take time and practice to master. However, studies have shown that it can be an effective tool for reducing caregiver stress, anxiety, and depression. By changing their perspective, caregivers can improve their overall quality of life and provide better care for their loved ones.

Understanding Reframing the Situation

What is Reframing?

Reframing is a cognitive technique that involves changing the way we think about a situation. It is a way to shift our perspective and view things in a more positive light. Reframing can help caregivers to cope with the challenges and stress of caring for someone with dementia. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of the situation, reframing can help caregivers to see the positive aspects and find meaning in their caregiving role. For example, a caregiver may feel overwhelmed and stressed by the constant demands of caring for a loved one with dementia. By reframing the situation, the caregiver can focus on the positive aspects of their caregiving role, such as the opportunity to provide love and support to their loved one, and the sense of fulfillment that comes from helping others.

Why is Reframing Important for Family Caregivers?

Caregiving can be a challenging and stressful role, and it is important for caregivers to take care of their own mental health and well-being. Reframing can help caregivers to manage their stress and cope with the challenges of caregiving. By changing the way they think about the situation, caregivers can reduce their feelings of stress and anxiety and improve their overall well-being. Reframing can also help caregivers to develop a more positive relationship with their loved one with dementia. By focusing on the positive aspects of their relationship and finding meaning in their caregiving role, caregivers can improve their emotional connection with their loved one and provide better care. In summary, reframing is a powerful cognitive technique that can help caregivers to cope with the challenges and stress of caring for someone with dementia. By changing the way they think about the situation, caregivers can reduce their feelings of stress and anxiety, improve their overall well-being, and develop a more positive relationship with their loved one.

Situations Where Reframing Can Help Caregivers

Caregivers often face challenging situations that can be emotionally and physically draining. Reframing is a technique that can help caregivers shift their perspective and find new ways to approach these situations. Here are some common situations where reframing can be particularly helpful:

Dealing with Difficult Behaviors

One of the most challenging aspects of caregiving is managing difficult behaviors. Whether it’s a loved one who is resistant to care or who exhibits aggressive or disruptive behavior, it can be hard to know how to respond. Reframing can help caregivers see these behaviors in a new light and find more effective ways to respond.

Example: Instead of seeing a loved one’s resistance to care as a personal attack, a caregiver might reframe the situation as a sign that their loved one is feeling scared or vulnerable. By approaching the situation with empathy and understanding, the caregiver may be able to find a way to make their loved one feel more comfortable and cooperative.

Managing Stress and Burnout

Caregiving can be a stressful and overwhelming experience, and many caregivers struggle with burnout. Reframing can help caregivers find new ways to cope with stress and avoid burnout.

Example: Instead of seeing caregiving as a burden or obligation, a caregiver might reframe their role as an opportunity to show love and support to their loved one. By focusing on the positive aspects of caregiving, the caregiver may be able to find more joy and fulfillment in their role.

Improving Communication with Loved Ones

Effective communication is key to successful caregiving, but it can be challenging when a loved one is experiencing cognitive decline or other health issues. Reframing can help caregivers approach communication in a new way and find ways to connect with their loved one.

Example: Instead of feeling frustrated by a loved one’s inability to communicate effectively, a caregiver might reframe the situation as an opportunity to connect on a deeper level. By using nonverbal cues or finding alternative ways to communicate, the caregiver may be able to strengthen their bond with their loved one.

Examples of Reframing in Action

Case Study 1: Reframing Challenging Behaviors

Caregiving can be a challenging job, especially when the person being cared for has difficult behaviors. Reframing can help caregivers see these behaviors in a new light and respond more effectively. For example, a caregiver may be frustrated by a person with dementia who constantly repeats the same question. Instead of becoming annoyed, the caregiver can reframe the behavior as a sign that the person is seeking reassurance or feeling anxious. By responding with empathy and patience, the caregiver can help the person feel calmer and more secure. Another example is a caregiver who is struggling to get a person with a physical disability to participate in physical therapy. Instead of seeing the person as stubborn or resistant, the caregiver can reframe the situation as a fear of pain or a lack of understanding of the benefits of therapy. By addressing these underlying concerns, the caregiver can help the person feel more motivated and engaged.

Case Study 2: Reframing Negative Thoughts and Emotions

Caregiving can also take an emotional toll on caregivers, leading to negative thoughts and feelings. Reframing can help caregivers shift their perspective and find more positive ways of coping. For example, a caregiver may feel guilty for needing a break or taking time for themselves. Instead of seeing this as a weakness or failure, the caregiver can reframe it as a necessary part of self-care that ultimately benefits both themselves and the person they are caring for. Another example is a caregiver feeling overwhelmed by caregiving’s demands. Instead of seeing this as a hopeless situation, the caregiver can reframe it as an opportunity to learn new skills, build resilience, and deepen their relationships with the person they are caring for.

Case Study 3: Reframing Communication Challenges

Effective communication is key to successful caregiving, but it can be difficult when the person being cared for has cognitive or communication impairments. Reframing can help caregivers find new ways of communicating and connecting. For example, a caregiver may be struggling to understand a person with aphasia who is having difficulty finding the right words. Instead of becoming frustrated or giving up, the caregiver can reframe the situation as an opportunity to practice active listening, use visual cues, and explore alternative modes of communication like gestures or writing. Another example is a caregiver who is having difficulty engaging a person with autism who is fixated on a particular topic. Instead of seeing this as a barrier to communication, the caregiver can reframe it as a shared interest that can be used to build rapport and connection. By showing genuine interest and curiosity, the caregiver can help the person feel heard and understood.

Tips for Caregivers to Reframe the Situation

Identifying Negative Thought Patterns

Caregivers often find themselves in situations that are emotionally and physically draining. It is easy for them to fall into negative thought patterns that can make the situation worse. Identifying these negative thought patterns is the first step in reframing the situation. Caregivers can ask themselves questions like:

What am I thinking right now?
Is this thought helping me or making things worse?
What evidence do I have to support this thought?

By identifying negative thought patterns, caregivers can challenge them and replace them with more positive ones.

Practicing Gratitude and Positive Self-Talk

Practicing gratitude and positive self-talk can help caregivers reframe the situation and see it in a more positive light. Caregivers can keep a gratitude journal and write down three things they are grateful for each day. They can also practice positive self-talk by telling themselves things like:

I am doing the best I can.
I am making a difference in someone’s life.
I am strong and capable.

By practicing gratitude and positive self-talk, caregivers can shift their focus from the negative aspects of the situation to the positive ones.

Seeking Support from Others

Caregiving can be a lonely and isolating experience. Seeking support from others can help caregivers reframe the situation and see it in a more positive light. Caregivers can join a support group, talk to a therapist, or reach out to friends and family members for support. By seeking support from others, caregivers can feel less alone and more empowered to handle the challenges of caregiving.

Pat

How to De-stress in the moment

Posted on April 6, 2023 by Pat - Caregiver stress

You come bee-bopping in, ready to take on the day and help your loved one. Ah, but wait, all is not well in Alzheimer’s land (or any dementia). A stressful situation seems to be in progress. You scan the area for clues to reduce stress. Nothing seems to be amiss. You look at your loved one, but you do not see anything visible that could be causing the distress they seem to be in. Your loved one is sitting there with her head in her hands saying, “Help, Help, Help,…over and over again. Ask them what they need help with. They may also say, “I want to go home.” Over and over again. Crying inconsolably sometimes happens.

You can also try reaching out your hand for them to take. When they take it, move to somewhere else while making a statement of, “I think it’s time for a bathroom break and a snack.” Sometimes, even going outside for a few minutes will help. Ask them to help you with something, give them a purpose and a job to do. You will become more skilled at helping during meltdowns. Do something physical to get them moving. Physical activity seems to bring stress relief or at least stress reduction.

Find it, Fix it

You have to immediately go into “find it, fix it” mode. You have to check on all the things running through your mind at warp speed. First, you speak to them calmly and tell them who you are and that you are here to help them. Sometimes, your loved one may be able to tell you something. Now, it may not be what is causing the problem or issue, but they will tell you something. Both of you are experiencing a physical stress response and an emotional response to stress. All your brain wants is RELIEF.

The things you know to check for include:

· They need to go to the bathroom.

· They have had a pee or poop accident.

· They are in pain.

· They are experiencing discomfort (shoes, feet, arms, legs, neck, clothing, etc.).

· They are frustrated or overtired.

· The environment they are in is too loud and/or distracting for them.

· They are having hallucinations.

You quickly go through the list checking on everything and doing what you can to help. Sometimes, that works and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes, it is sundowning and it sucks. You provide comfort, distract and redirect as best you can because logic and reasoning won’t work. Taking care of the need is what usually settles everything down. The trick is to find the need. Crisis moments or stressful events need us to be able to help reduce stress levels.

How does this get you to destress while in the moment? How does this decrease your cortisol level? How does this help you decrease your own anxiety and stress? Your psychological stress is related to their highly stressful agitated state. Watch out, you both can feed off of each other’s stress. They cannot manage their stress so you need to manage your stress.

You will automatically go into “find it, fix it,” mode and you won’t think about what you can do for yourself to calm down. The situation has already caused your own stress response to kick in and your brain has been hijacked due to the release of the stress hormones (releases adrenaline and cortisol). Breathing techniques work really well. You have to remember to do them. They really do help you to focus your mind and deal with what is in front of you.

The best thing for you to do

The best thing for you to do is to deep breathe. Breathe in deeply and allow your belly to expand. Inhale through the nose for a count of five. Hold for a count of three and exhale through pursed lips for a count of seven. Repeat this five times. Doing this leads to increased focus and a decrease in anxiety and other forms of stress reactivity. Call deep breathing psychological first aid.

Now you can think more rationally

Now, you will be able to think and act more rationally. Deep breathing is not natural to most of us and we need to practice it a couple of times a day anyway. Remember that even if your loved one doesn’t understand the words you are saying or that you are trying to help, they are able to pick up on the feelings you are having and showing.

You have gotten your loved one semi-settled down and they are okay to be on their own for a few minutes. Let’s get rid of some of this stress. Try using the tensing and relaxing of muscles method. It is also known as progressive muscle relaxation. Now it is your turn to find practices that can help you to unwind.

Tensing and Relaxing Your Muscles

You are going to slowly tense and relax each muscle. Muscles should be tense but not strained. Pay attention to the feeling of the muscle as it is tensed and then relaxed. This only takes 15 minutes.

Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit, take off your shoes, and close your eyes. Let your body go loosey-goosey. Practice belly breathing exercise five times.

Bring your focus to each muscle targeted. For example, take your right hand and make a fist. Squeeze that fist, as hard as you can for 5 seconds. Feel the tension and notice what the muscle feels like. We are not looking for pain. Some discomfort, but not pain.

After holding for 5 seconds, relax the muscle quickly and completely. Notice how that muscle feels and the areas around the muscle too. It may take some practice, but you will get better and better at targeting specific major muscles when it is time.

Relax for 15 seconds before moving on to the next muscle.

Body parts

Foot – curl your toes downward and hold for 5 seconds, then relax

Lower leg and foot – tighten your calf muscles by pulling your toes towards you, hold for 5 seconds, and then relax

Entire leg – squeeze/tense thigh muscles (quadriceps), hold for 5 seconds, and then relax

Do the opposite side next.

Hand – clench your fist, hold for 5 seconds, and then relax

Entire arm – Close your fist and bring your forearm up towards your shoulder (make a muscle), hold for 5 seconds, and then relax

Do the opposite side next.

Buttocks – tighten by pulling your butt cheeks together, hold for 5 seconds, and then relax

Stomach – suck your stomach in (pull belly button towards spine), hold for 5 seconds, and then relax

Chest – tighten by taking a deep breath holding it for 5 seconds and then relaxing

Neck and Shoulders – Shoulder shrugs (shrug your shoulders up towards your ears) hold for 5 seconds and then relax

Mouth – Open your mouth wide enough to stretch the hinges of the jaw hold for 5 seconds and then relax (you may be clenching your jaw and not even know it)

Eyelids – shut your eyes tightly hold them for 5 seconds and then relax

Forehead – raise your eyebrows as high as you can and hold them for 5 seconds then relax

Shorter version

After you become familiar with this routine you can do a shorter version when you are strapped for time.

Feet and Legs at the same time

Stomach and Chest at the same time

Arms, Shoulders, and Neck at the same time

Mouth, Eyelids, and Forehead at the same time

When you are really familiar with the tensing and relaxing techniques, you can learn to find your tense muscles and relax them.

Take micro-breaks

Take a micro-break – 5 minutes every hour

Micro-breaks help you unwind. Micro-breaks are another useful way to manage high levels of stress. You will be much better prepared for crisis situations when you take care of your mental and physical health.

Drink a glass of water
Close your eyes and deep belly breathe
Take a 5-minute walk outside
Do a brain dump – journal/write whatever pops into your head for 5 minutes
Do some exercises – 10 squats, 10 jumping jacks, 10 lunges, planks, pushups, stretches
Watch a short funny video
Listen to a favorite song
Laugh out loud (yes, you can make yourself laugh…the brain doesn’t know the difference…it just releases the chemicals)
Eat a piece of fruit and drink a glass of water.

Pat