Month: May 2023

Understand the Basics of the Family Leave Medical Act (FMLA)

Posted on May 25, 2023 by - Caregiver Tools

While I worked at a chain drugstore, I had access to FMLA, if I needed it. Now, that I work for myself, I no longer have that benefit. Those of you that work for small companies, (less than 50 employees) are in the same boat that I am in. We are screwed, if we need to take time off to handle our own medical needs, the medical needs of a loved one, maternity/paternity needs, etc. This is another reason to have three months of money saved or easily accessible. Start saving $25 to $50 a paycheck, pay yourself, just like it is another bill and leave it alone. Put it in a special bank account or get a fireproof safe and place it in there. Check your progress in three months. Readjust, if you must, but do not stop and DO NOT spend it. It is for ABSOLUTE emergencies only.

For those of you that have access to FMLA, what follows is a basic overview and probably a reminder, that you do have access to this benefit.

Overview of FMLA

If you are an employee and need to take time off work for a personal or family medical reason, the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) may provide you with job-protected leave. The FMLA is a federal law that entitles eligible employees of covered employers to take unpaid, job-protected leave for specified family and medical reasons with continuation of group health insurance coverage under the same terms and conditions as if the employee had not taken leave.

Under the FMLA, eligible employees are entitled to up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave in a 12-month period for qualifying life events. These events include the birth or adoption of a child, caring for a spouse, child, or parent with a serious health condition, or when the employee is unable to work due to a serious health condition. Additionally, the FMLA allows eligible employees to take leave for qualifying demands related to the military service of a spouse, child, or parent, or to care for a covered service member with a serious injury or illness.

It is important to note that not all employers are covered by the FMLA. Covered employers include private sector employers who employ 50 or more employees, public agencies, and public or private elementary or secondary schools. Additionally, employees must meet certain eligibility requirements to be covered by the FMLA, including having worked for the employer for at least 12 months and having worked at least 1,250 hours in the 12 months preceding the start of the FMLA leave.

Eligibility Requirements

If you are interested in taking advantage of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), you must meet certain eligibility requirements. First and foremost, you must work for a covered employer. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, covered employers include:

  • All public agencies
  • All public and private elementary and secondary schools
  • Companies with 50 or more employees

If you work for a covered employer, you must also meet the following requirements:

  • You must have worked for your employer for at least 12 months.
  • You must have worked at least 1,250 hours during the 12 months prior to the start of your FMLA leave.
  • Your employer must employ at least 50 employees within a 75-mile radius of your worksite.

It’s important to note that if you work for the federal government, you may be eligible for FMLA leave under the FMLA regulations for federal employees. These regulations are administered by the U.S. Office of Personnel Management.

If you meet these eligibility requirements, you may be entitled to up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave during any 12-month period for the following purposes:

  • The birth of a child and to care for the newborn child within one year of birth
  • The placement with the employee of a child for adoption or foster care and to care for the newly placed child within one year of placement
  • To care for an immediate family member (spouse, child, or parent) with a serious health condition
  • To take medical leave when the employee is unable to work because of a serious health condition
  • For qualifying exigencies arising out of the fact that the employee’s spouse, son, daughter, or parent is a covered military member on “covered active duty;”
  • To care for a covered service member with a serious injury or illness if the employee is the spouse, son, daughter, parent, or next of kin of the service member (Military Caregiver Leave)

How to Apply for FMLA Leave

If you are eligible for Family and Medical Leave (FMLA), you can apply for it by following the steps outlined below.

Documentation Required

To apply for FMLA, you will need to provide your employer with a medical certification form completed by your healthcare provider. This form will verify that you or your family member has a serious health condition that requires your care, or that you need to take time off for your own serious health condition. You must submit this form to your employer within 15 calendar days of receiving it.

Timing of Leave

You must provide your employer with at least 30 days’ notice before you plan to take FMLA leave, if the need for leave is foreseeable. If the need for leave is not foreseeable, you must provide notice as soon as possible. Your employer may require you to provide additional information about your need for leave, such as a statement explaining why you need leave and how long you expect to be away from work.

Intermittent Leave (Take leave every now and then or at intervals)

If you need to take FMLA leave intermittently, you should work with your employer to develop a schedule that meets your needs while minimizing the impact on your employer’s operations. You may also be required to provide your employer with periodic updates on your condition and your need for leave.

Remember, if you are eligible for FMLA, you have the right to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave in a 12-month period for certain qualifying reasons. By following the steps outlined above, you can ensure that you receive the leave you are entitled to.

Protections and Benefits

Job Protection

 When you return to work, your employer must provide you with the same or an equivalent position. If your employer violates your FMLA rights, you can file a complaint with the U.S. Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division.

Health Insurance

If you are enrolled in a group health insurance plan, your employer must maintain your coverage during your FMLA leave. You must continue to pay your share of the premiums while you are on leave. If you do not return to work after your FMLA leave, your employer may require you to reimburse them for the premiums they paid to maintain your coverage during your leave.

Accrued Leave

You can use your accrued paid leave, such as sick leave or vacation time, to cover part or all of your FMLA leave. Your employer may require you to use your accrued leave before taking unpaid FMLA leave. If you do not have any accrued leave, you can still take FMLA leave, but it will be unpaid.

Overall, FMLA provides important protections and benefits for eligible employees who need to take leave for family or medical reasons. If you are eligible, you should be sure to understand your rights and how to properly request and take FMLA leave.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some frequently asked questions about the Family and Medical Leave Act:

  • Who is eligible for FMLA?

You are eligible for FMLA if you work for a covered employer and have worked for the employer for at least 12 months. Additionally, you must have worked at least 1,250 hours during the 12 months before taking leave.

  • What reasons qualify for FMLA?

You can take FMLA leave for any of the following reasons:

  • Your own serious health condition that makes you unable to perform your job
  • To care for a spouse, child, or parent with a serious health condition
  • The birth or adoption of a child
  • To care for a newborn child within one year of birth
  • For qualifying exigencies related to a family member’s military service
  • To care for a covered service member with a serious injury or illness
  • How much leave can I take under FMLA?

You can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave in a 12-month period for FMLA-qualifying reasons. If you need additional time off, you may be eligible for other types of leave, such as sick leave or vacation time.

  • Do I get paid during FMLA leave?

No, FMLA leave is unpaid. However, you may be able to use any accrued paid leave, such as sick leave or vacation time, to cover part or all of your FMLA leave.

  • What happens to my health insurance during FMLA leave?

Your employer is required to maintain your health insurance while you are on FMLA leave. You will be responsible for paying your portion of the premiums, just as you would if you were still working.

  • Do I have job protection during FMLA leave?

Yes, you have job protection during FMLA leave. When you return from leave, your employer must restore you to your original job or a similar job with the same pay, benefits, and working conditions.

Conclusion

Now that you better understand the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), you can determine if you are eligible for this benefit and how to apply for it. 

Remember that FMLA is designed to help employees balance their work and family responsibilities by allowing them to take reasonable unpaid leave for certain family and medical reasons. If you believe that your employer is violating your FMLA rights, you can file a complaint with the U.S. Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division.

Is Your Diagnosis a Chronic Illness?

Posted on May 17, 2023 by - Chronic Illness Diagnosis

If you are experiencing persistent symptoms that don’t seem to go away, you may be suffering from a chronic illness. Chronic illnesses are long-term conditions that can affect your overall health and quality of life. They can be caused by a variety of factors, including genetics, lifestyle, and environmental factors. Some chronic diseases are more common than others and can affect people of all ages and backgrounds.

There are many types of chronic illnesses, each with its unique signs and symptoms. Some of the most common chronic illnesses include diabetes, heart disease, chronic pain, and chronic fatigue syndrome. These conditions can be debilitating and can significantly impact your daily life. It’s important to be aware of the signs and symptoms so that you can seek treatment and manage your condition effectively.

Common Chronic Diseases

If you are experiencing symptoms that have been persisting for a long time, you may have a chronic illness. Always see your doctor for a chronic disease diagnosis and to help you manage your disease.  Here are some of the most common chronic illnesses:

Diabetes

Diabetes is a chronic illness where your body cannot regulate blood sugar levels properly. There are two types of diabetes: type 1 and type 2. Type 1 diabetes is usually diagnosed in childhood and is caused by the pancreas not producing enough insulin. Type 2 diabetes is usually diagnosed in adults and is caused by the body becoming resistant to insulin.

Common symptoms of diabetes include increased thirst, frequent urination, fatigue, and blurred vision. I

Arthritis

Arthritis is a chronic illness that affects the joints in your body. There are many different types of arthritis, but the most common types are osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. Osteoarthritis is caused by wear and tear on the joints, while rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune disorder.

Common symptoms of arthritis include joint pain, stiffness, and swelling. 

Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD)

COPD is a chronic disease that affects the lungs. It is usually caused by smoking or exposure to air pollution. Common symptoms of COPD include shortness of breath, coughing, and wheezing.

Heart Disease

Heart disease is a chronic illness that affects the heart and blood vessels. There are many different types of heart disease, but the most common type is coronary artery disease. This is caused by a buildup of plaque in the arteries that supply blood to the heart.

Common symptoms of heart disease include chest pain, shortness of breath, and fatigue. 

Chronic Kidney Disease

Chronic kidney disease is a chronic illness that affects the kidneys. It is usually caused by high blood pressure or diabetes. Common symptoms of chronic kidney disease include fatigue, swelling in the legs and ankles, and changes in urination.

Less Common Chronic Illnesses

Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia is a disorder that causes widespread pain, fatigue, and tenderness in muscles, tendons, and joints. Other symptoms may include headaches, sleep disturbances, and irritable bowel syndrome. It is a chronic condition that affects more women than men, and the exact cause is unknown.

Diagnosis of fibromyalgia can be challenging as there is no specific test for it. Doctors may rely on a physical exam, medical history, and ruling out other conditions with similar symptoms. Treatment may involve a combination of medication, exercise, and stress management techniques.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is a complex disorder characterized by extreme fatigue that does not improve with rest and is not caused by an underlying medical condition. Other symptoms may include muscle pain, headaches, and difficulty concentrating. The cause of CFS is unknown, and there is no cure.

Treatment for CFS may involve a combination of medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and graded exercise therapy.

Lupus

Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease that can affect various parts of the body, including the skin, joints, and organs. Symptoms may include fatigue, joint pain, skin rashes, and fever. The cause of lupus is unknown, but it is believed to be a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

Treatment for lupus may involve medication to manage symptoms and prevent flare-ups. 

Crohn’s Disease

Crohn’s Disease is a chronic inflammatory bowel disease that affects the digestive tract. Symptoms may include abdominal pain, diarrhea, and weight loss. The cause of Crohn’s Disease is unknown, but it is believed to be a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

Treatment for Crohn’s Disease may involve medication, dietary changes, and surgery in severe cases.

Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is a chronic autoimmune disease that affects the central nervous system. Symptoms may include muscle weakness, difficulty with coordination and balance, and vision problems. The cause of MS is unknown, but it is believed to be a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

Treatment for MS may involve medication to manage symptoms and slow the progression of the disease. 

Signs and Symptoms

Physical Symptoms

If you are experiencing chronic illness, you may be experiencing a variety of physical symptoms. These symptoms can vary depending on the type of illness you have. Some common physical symptoms include:

  • Pain in different parts of the body
  • Fatigue or exhaustion
  • Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
  • Headaches or migraines
  • Joint stiffness or pain
  • Swelling or inflammation in different parts of the body
  • Nausea or vomiting
  • Dizziness or lightheadedness
  • Changes in appetite or weight loss/gain

It is important to note that these symptoms can be caused by a variety of factors and may not necessarily indicate a chronic disease. However, if you are experiencing any of these symptoms on a regular basis, it is important to speak with your healthcare provider to determine the underlying cause. 

Psychological Symptoms

In addition to physical symptoms, chronic illness can also cause psychological or emotional symptoms. These symptoms can be just as debilitating as physical symptoms and can include: 

  • Depression or anxiety
  • Difficulty sleeping or insomnia
  • Difficulty concentrating or memory issues
  • Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
  • Irritability or mood swings
  • Changes in behavior or personality

It is important to note that psychological symptoms can be caused by a variety of factors and may not necessarily indicate a chronic illness. However, if you are experiencing any of these symptoms on a regular basis, it is important to speak with your healthcare provider to determine the underlying cause. In conclusion, chronic illness can cause a variety of physical and psychological or emotional symptoms that can impact your daily life. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, it is important to speak with your healthcare provider to determine the underlying cause and develop an appropriate treatment plan. 

What is Considered a Chronic Illness?

Posted on May 10, 2023 by - Uncategorized

If you have been diagnosed with an illness, you may be wondering what exactly qualifies as a chronic illness. In general, a chronic illness is a condition that persists for a long period of time, typically longer than three months. These conditions often require ongoing medical care and can significantly impact your daily life. You may also hear the terms chronic conditions or chronic disease, as well.

Examples of chronic illnesses include diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, and asthma. These conditions can be managed, but they typically cannot be cured. Chronic illnesses can also include mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety and migraine. These conditions may not be visible to others, but they can still have a significant impact on your life and require ongoing care. Remember, just because you cannot visibly see some chronic diseases does not mean that things aren’t happening inside the body. People do tend to forget that fact. 

Chronic conditions often are not visible and a lot of people are misdiagnosed or not diagnosed for years. These folks seek help and sometimes their symptoms are dismissed and sometimes they are thought of as crazy, a hypochondriac, or simply a complainer. You know your body better than anyone else. You know when you are either “not right” or “something is wrong.” Sometimes healthcare providers do not have the answers. Sometimes tests show nothing abnormal, but that doesn’t mean you are fine. Just because your tests may be in the “normal range” does not mean that they are optimal for you. You need to be your own advocate and keep pressing for answers. Rarely do physicians tell you that they don’t know what is going on. I actually respect physicians more if they do state that they don’t know but are going to either try to find out or send you to another physician. 

It’s important to note that not all long-term conditions are considered chronic illnesses. Some conditions, such as pregnancy or a broken bone, may require ongoing care but are not considered chronic illnesses. Additionally, some conditions may be considered chronic if they persist for a year or more, while others may be considered chronic if they significantly impact your daily life, even if they do not last for a year. 

Physical Chronic Diseases

If you have a physical chronic disease, it means that you have a long-term condition that affects your body’s physical functioning. These illnesses can be caused by a variety of factors, including genetics, lifestyle choices, and environmental factors. Some examples of physical chronic illnesses include:

  • Asthma
  • Arthritis
  • Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • High blood pressure
  • Multiple sclerosis
  • Rheumatoid arthritis

These conditions can have a significant impact on your daily life. They can cause pain, fatigue, and other symptoms that can make it difficult to perform everyday tasks. Treatment for physical chronic illnesses often includes medication, lifestyle changes, and other therapies.

Mental Health Chronic Conditions

A physical chronic illness can contribute to a mental health chronic condition, it means that you have a long-term condition that affects your mental health. These illnesses can be caused by a variety of factors, including genetics, life experiences, and environmental factors. Some examples of mental health chronic conditions include:

  • Anxiety disorders
  • Bipolar disorder
  • Depression
  • Eating disorders
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
  • Schizophrenia

Mental health conditions can have a significant impact on your daily life. They can cause changes in mood, behavior, and thought patterns that can make it difficult to function. Treatment for mental health conditions often includes medication, talk therapy, nutritional changes, exercises, and other interventions.

Causes of Chronic Conditions

Chronic conditions are long-term medical conditions that persist for more than three months and can severely impact your daily life. There are many causes of chronic health conditions, including genetic and environmental factors. Understanding these causes can help you manage your condition and improve your quality of life.

Genetic Factors

 Some chronic illnesses are caused by inherited genetic mutations that affect the body’s ability to function correctly. For example, cystic fibrosis is a chronic illness caused by a genetic mutation that affects the lungs, pancreas, and other organs. Similarly, sickle cell anemia is a chronic illness caused by a genetic mutation that affects the production of red blood cells.

Other chronic illnesses have a genetic component but are also influenced by environmental factors. For example, certain types of cancer, such as breast cancer and colon cancer, can run in families. If you have a family history of these types of cancers, you may be at a higher risk of developing them.

Environmental Factors

Environmental factors can also play a significant role in the development of chronic health conditions. Exposure to toxins, pollutants, and other harmful substances can increase your risk of developing a chronic illness. For example, exposure to asbestos can lead to mesothelioma, a type of cancer that affects the lining of the lungs.

Other environmental factors that can contribute to the development of chronic health conditions include poor nutrition, lack of exercise, and stress. A diet high in sugar, fat, and processed foods can increase your risk of developing chronic illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. Lack of exercise can also contribute to the development of these conditions. Stress can also have a negative impact on your health and increase your risk of developing chronic health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and autoimmune disorders.

Symptoms of Chronic Illnesses

Chronic illnesses can be challenging to manage, and their symptoms can vary widely depending on the condition. However, there are some common symptoms that many chronic illnesses share.

Physical Symptoms

Chronic illnesses can cause a range of physical symptoms that can be difficult to manage. Some common physical symptoms include:

  • Pain
  • Fatigue
  • Weakness
  • Dizziness
  • Nausea
  • Shortness of breath
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Loss of appetite
  • Weight loss or gain
  • Swelling
  • Stiffness or limited mobility

These physical symptoms can be challenging to manage and may impact your daily life. It’s essential to work with your healthcare provider to develop a treatment plan that addresses your symptoms and helps you manage your condition.

Mental Symptoms

Chronic health conditions can also impact your mental health, and many people with chronic illnesses experience mental health symptoms such as:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Memory loss
  • Brain fog

Mental health symptoms can be just as challenging to manage as physical symptoms, and it’s essential to address them as part of your overall treatment plan. Your healthcare provider may recommend therapy, medication, or other treatments to help you manage your mental symptoms.

Diagnosis of Chronic Illnesses

I wish that I could tell you that medical tests or mental health evaluations can diagnose all conditions, but they can’t. It is called the practice of medicine. There are no absolutes. The best approach includes listening to the patient and understanding that they are trying their best to describe what is happening. Often patients don’t know what is relevant or not relevant. Healthcare providers need to be curious and ask questions and repeat back what they have heard to be sure they understand what the patient is trying to tell them. You and your healthcare provider need to work as a team. 

Sometimes a diagnosis can only occur after ruling other things out. Sometimes you may not get a diagnosis, but you work on treating the symptoms, if at all possible.  If you have not gotten a diagnosis, there are still things you can do to help yourself and improve your quality of life. It will take time and some effort on your part, but it can be done. While your lab tests may be in the “normal range,” how are they trending? Compare the current test to the past two or three tests. 

Medical Tests

Depending on your symptoms, your healthcare provider may order blood tests, imaging tests, or other diagnostic tests. Blood tests can help identify specific markers that may be indicative of a chronic illness, while imaging tests can help identify structural abnormalities or damage to organs.

Some common medical tests used to diagnose chronic illnesses include:

  • Blood tests
  • X-rays
  • Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI)
  • Computed tomography (CT) scans
  • Biopsies

Mental Health Evaluation

Chronic health conditions can also have a significant impact on mental health. As such, healthcare providers may conduct a mental health evaluation as part of the diagnostic process. A mental health evaluation can help identify symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions that may be related to your chronic illness.

During a mental health evaluation, your healthcare provider may ask you questions about your mood, sleep patterns, and overall mental health. They may also use standardized tests to assess your mental health and identify any potential mental health conditions.

It is important, to be honest and open during a mental health evaluation. Mental health conditions are common among individuals with chronic illnesses, and seeking treatment for these conditions can help improve your overall quality of life.

Living with Chronic Illnesses

Living with a chronic illness can be challenging, but there are ways to cope that can help you manage your condition and improve your quality of life. Here are some strategies to consider:

Support Groups

Joining a support group can be a great way to connect with others who are going through similar experiences. You can share your feelings and experiences, learn from others, and get emotional support. Support groups can be found online or in person, and they can be led by professionals or peers. 

Self-Care Strategies

Taking care of yourself is important when you have a chronic illness. Here are some self-care strategies to consider:

  • Eat a healthy diet
  • Get regular exercise
  • Get enough sleep
  • Reduce stress
  • Practice relaxation techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing
  • Take your medications as prescribed
  • Manage your symptoms, such as pain or fatigue, with the help of your healthcare provider
  • Stay informed about your illness and treatment options

In addition to these strategies, it’s important to communicate openly with your healthcare provider, ask questions, and stay involved in your care. Working together with your healthcare team can help you manage your condition and improve your quality of life.

How to Comfort Someone Diagnosed with a Scary Illness

Posted on May 3, 2023 by - Scary Diagnosis

When someone you love has been diagnosed with a scary illness, knowing what to say or do can be difficult. You want to be supportive and helpful, but you may also be afraid to say the wrong thing or make things worse. It’s important to remember that everyone’s situation is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question.

First, it’s important to acknowledge the person’s feelings and let them know that you are there for them. You might say something like, “I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I can only imagine how scary this must be for you, but please know that I’m here for you and I want to help in any way that I can.” This lets the person know that you are there to support them and that you are willing to listen if they want to talk about their feelings.

Do not start going on about  all the people you know or have heard that have “scary illness.” What you think they have done or how they are being treated. Do not go to the “God doesn’t give you more than you can bear,” By the way, that is not a true biblical statement, AT ALL. Why do people start comparing or telling what others have gone through or treatment regimens, etc.? Usually, it is because they really do not know what to say or how to act. They don’t understand that they can keep their mouth shut and just sit with the person. Just sit with them and be quiet, let them talk or not talk. It is okay that you feel uncomfortable.

It is difficult to process an unwanted diagnosis. It will take time. Your brain protects you from too much information at one time. It shuts down. It takes time to get your breath back. It takes time to settle down enough to start working on a plan. Always remember what my daddy says, “They said and I heard” are the two biggest liars in the world.

It’s also important to avoid offering unsolicited advice or making assumptions about what the person is going through. Instead, ask them how they are feeling and what you can do to help. They may not know what they need right away, but simply knowing that someone cares can be a comfort in itself. Remember, the most important thing you can do is to be there for them and let them know that they are not alone.

Understanding the Diagnosis

Types of Scary Illnesses

When someone you care about receives a scary diagnosis, it can be difficult to know how to respond. Scary illnesses can include cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, and other related dementias, Parkinson’s disease. Multiple sclerosis, Cancer, Lupus, COPD, Stroke, Diabetes, etc. Any chronic illness can be a scary illness. It is important to remember that each person’s experience with a scary illness is unique, and it is important to provide support that is tailored to the individual’s needs.

Emotional Impact of the Diagnosis

Receiving a scary diagnosis can be an emotional rollercoaster. It is common for individuals to experience a range of emotions, including denial, fear, anger, and sadness. It is important to validate the person’s feelings and provide a safe space for them to express themselves. Did you know that you can validate a person’s feelings even if you disagree with them? It isn’t about you or what you think you would feel. It is about them and what they feel, right at this moment.

  • Denial: It is common for individuals to deny the diagnosis at first. They may feel that it is a mistake or that the doctor is wrong. It is important to be patient and understanding during this stage.
  • Fear: Fear is a natural response to a scary diagnosis. It is important to provide reassurance and support during this time.
  • Anger: Anger is another common response to a scary diagnosis. The person may feel that it is unfair or that they have been dealt a bad hand. It is important to listen to their concerns and validate their feelings.
  • Sadness: Sadness is a natural response to a scary diagnosis. It is important to provide emotional support and encourage the person to seek professional help if needed.

It is important to remember that everyone’s emotional response to a scary diagnosis is different, and it is important to provide support that is tailored to the individual’s needs.

What to Say to Someone That Has Been Diagnosed with a Scary Illness

Receiving a scary diagnosis can be a life-changing experience for anyone. It’s important to be there for your loved one during this difficult time and offer support, practical help, encouragement, and positivity. Here are some things you can say to help them through:

Offering Support

Let your loved one know that you are there for them and that they are not alone. Saying things like:

  • “I’m here for you.”
  • “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
  • “You can count on me.”

These statements show your loved one that you are there to support them and that they can rely on you during this difficult time. Don’t say it, if you don’t mean it.

Practical Help

Offering practical help can be a great way to show your loved one that you care. Some things you can say include:

  • “Let me know if you need help with anything.”
  • “I can help with grocery shopping or cooking meals.”
  • “I can take you to your appointments.”

Offering specific ways to help can be more helpful than just saying “Let me know if you need anything.” Most people are too overwhelmed to think of what needs to be done. What can you do that you don’t mind doing? For example, doing laundry doesn’t bother me so I would offer to do that. Someone else may like to cook and is willing to do that. Still, others may like to clean the house or mow the yard. Do not offer to do something that you hate doing.

Encouragement

Encouraging your loved one can help boost their spirits during this difficult time. Some things you can say include:

  • “You are a strong person, and you can get through this.”
  • “I believe in you.”
  • “You have a great support system, and we are all here for you.”

Encouragement can help your loved one feel more positive and hopeful about their situation. It is perfectly fine to be realistic and still be encouraging at the same time.

Positivity

Staying positive can be difficult when dealing with a scary illness, but it can help your loved one feel better. Some things you can say include:

  • “Let’s focus on the things we can do to make you feel better.”
  • “You are not alone in this.”
  • “We will get through this together.”

Positivity can help your loved one feel more hopeful and less overwhelmed by their diagnosis. Being positive does not mean that we are ignoring reality, but we are choosing to focus on moving forward and doing the best that we can.

What Not to Say

When someone you care about has been diagnosed with a scary illness, it can be difficult to know what to say. While you may have the best intentions, certain phrases can be hurtful or unhelpful. Here are some things to avoid:

Avoiding Cliches and Platitudes

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience with illness is different, so generic phrases like “everything happens for a reason” or “you’ll come out stronger on the other side” may not be helpful. While you may be trying to offer comfort, these cliches can come across as dismissive or invalidating. Basically, don’t say those things.

Instead, try to acknowledge the person’s feelings and offer your support. Phrases like “I’m here for you,” “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” or “I can’t imagine how hard this must be” can be more meaningful.

Steering Clear of Unsolicited Advice

While you may be tempted to offer advice or share stories of other people who have gone through a similar experience, it’s important to remember that everyone’s situation is unique. Unsolicited advice can come across as pushy or dismissive of the person’s feelings and experiences. I know that this is hard not to do. I go into “fix it” mode myself and I have to stop myself before opening my big mouth.

Instead, try to listen to what the person is saying and offer support in the way that they need it. If they ask for advice or information, you can provide it, but otherwise, it’s best to avoid offering unsolicited advice.

Remember that the most important thing you can do is to be there for your loved one and offer your support in the way that they need it. Listening, acknowledging their feelings, and offering practical help can be more meaningful than any words you say.

Conclusion

Dealing with a scary illness can be an incredibly difficult and emotional experience for both the patient and their loved ones. It’s important to remember that everyone copes with these situations differently and there is no one right way to handle it.

One of the most important things you can do when someone you know has been diagnosed with a scary illness is to simply be there for them. Offer your support, listen to them, and let them know that you care. Remember that it’s okay to not have all the answers or to not know what to say. Sometimes, just being present is enough.

It’s also important to be mindful of how you communicate with the person who has been diagnosed. Avoid making assumptions or giving unsolicited advice. Instead, ask them how they’re feeling and what you can do to help. Be honest, but also be sensitive to their feelings and emotions. Sometimes, it is better to ask how are things going rather than how they are feeling.

There are also practical things you can do to support someone dealing with a health crisis. Offer to help with everyday tasks like grocery shopping, cooking, or cleaning. You can also help them navigate the healthcare system by accompanying them to doctor’s appointments or helping them research treatment options.

Finally, remember to take care of yourself as well. Supporting someone through a scary illness can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to make sure you’re taking care of your own needs as well. Don’t be afraid to seek out support for yourself if you need it.

Pat