Family caregivers often take on a huge responsibility that can be both rewarding and exhausting. However, there are key mistakes they should avoid to keep themselves and their loved ones safe and healthy. One of the biggest errors caregivers make is ignoring their own well-being while focusing only on the care recipient.

Caregiving demands clear communication, good planning, and knowing when to ask for help. Taking on too much or trying to handle everything alone can lead to burnout and reduce the quality of care. Avoiding these traps helps caregivers stay strong and provide better support.

Key Takeways

• Caregivers need to protect their own health and limits.
• Clear communication and planning improve caregiving success.
• Asking for help prevents isolation and overload.

Ignoring Personal Limits and Self-Care

Family caregivers often push themselves too hard, which can cause major problems. When they skip basic needs like rest, mental breaks, and health care, their ability to provide care actually drops. Not paying attention to limits can lead to serious physical and emotional issues.

Neglecting Your Physical Health

Many caregivers put their loved one’s needs before their own, skipping doctor’s visits, exercise, and good nutrition. This neglect can cause tiredness, weakened immune systems, or worsening chronic conditions. Caregivers who skip sleep or feel constant fatigue may find it harder to focus or react quickly, which affects both their safety and the care they give.

It’s important for caregivers to schedule regular check-ups and remember simple habits like drinking enough water and eating balanced meals. Using respite care or asking family or friends for help lets caregivers take much-needed breaks to recharge physically. These small steps help keep their strength up and reduce chances of illness.

Sacrificing Mental and Emotional Well-Being

Ignoring mental health is common but harmful. Caregivers may avoid talking about their stress or feelings to not worry others or appear weak. This silence can cause anxiety, depression, or burnout. Family caregivers who don’t find ways to manage emotions may begin to feel isolated, frustrated, or overwhelmed.

Joining support groups or seeking professional mental health support offers a space to share experiences and coping strategies. Taking breaks to enjoy hobbies or relaxation activities helps reduce constant pressure. Prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it supports emotional balance needed to face daily caregiving challenges.

Ignoring Signs of Caregiver Burnout

Burnout begins slowly and can be missed if caregivers don’t watch for warning signs. These signs include constant fatigue, mood swings, irritability, headaches, or feeling hopeless. Some may notice neglect of their own needs, or feel guilty for wanting a break.

Recognizing these signals early is key. Caregivers should learn to say no, set boundaries, and plan regular respite breaks. Using community resources and building a strong support network reduces stress. Taking action at the first signs of burnout helps prevent deeper physical and emotional harm.

Failing to Maintain Clear Communication

Clear communication is essential for family caregivers to provide the best support. Missteps like avoiding tough talks, not truly listening, or keeping important details from the care team can cause confusion and build tension. These issues affect everyone involved and can make caregiving much harder than it needs to be.

Avoiding Difficult Conversations

Family caregivers often shy away from hard talks, but avoiding these can cause more problems later. Topics like changes in health, care decisions, or disagreements should be addressed openly. When these conversations are skipped, misunderstandings grow and family members may feel ignored or frustrated.

Caregivers should aim to be honest but gentle, showing empathy when delivering sensitive news. It helps if they prepare what to say and pick a calm moment. Avoiding these talks delays solving issues and can affect the care recipient’s wellbeing.

Overlooking Active Listening

Active listening means fully paying attention, not just hearing words. Family caregivers who don’t practice this may miss important clues about the care recipient’s needs or feelings. Without true listening, caregivers might repeat mistakes or fail to notice signs of distress.

Listening well shows respect and builds trust. It encourages family members and care recipients to share openly. Learning active listening skills can improve relationships and reduce stress. Caregivers can also benefit from peer-to-peer support to develop better communication habits.

Withholding Critical Information from the Care Team

Not sharing key information with healthcare providers or other caregivers can jeopardize the quality of care. Family caregivers sometimes hold back details about health changes or medication problems, thinking it’s minor or to avoid causing worry.

However, the care team relies on accurate and timely updates. Withholding information can delay treatment, cause errors, or make coordination difficult. Caregivers should keep a detailed care journal and use agreed communication methods like texts or calls. Open sharing helps everyone stay informed and work toward the best care possible.

Neglecting Organization and Care Planning

Family caregivers must stay organized and plan carefully to avoid mistakes that affect daily care. Good management of time, medications, and appointments helps keep the person they care for safe and healthy. Without this structure, important tasks and treatments can be missed.

Disregarding Time Management

Poor time management can cause missed care tasks and increased stress for caregivers. Scheduling daily activities, doctor’s visits, and medication times helps keep routines steady and predictable. Without clear plans, caregivers may forget tasks or feel overwhelmed by last-minute demands.

Using tools like calendars, alarms, or care apps can make a big difference. Caregivers who set reminders for appointments and breaks ensure they meet the care recipient’s needs without sacrificing their own rest. Balancing caregiving with other responsibilities is easier when time is organized.

Losing Track of Medication and Appointments

Missing medications or doctor visits can harm the health of the person receiving care. It’s important for caregivers to keep detailed records of all medications, including doses, times, and any side effects. Mixing up medicines or timing can cause serious problems.

A medication list or chart helps track these details. Caregivers should update it whenever changes happen. They should also plan trips to the doctor ahead of time and keep appointment information in one place. This reduces confusion and ensures medications and treatments are followed correctly.

Taking on More Than Their Role Allows

Family caregivers often want to help in many ways but taking on too much can be harmful. It’s important to know when tasks require professional help or legal permission. Doing more than one’s skills or authority allow can cause risks for both the caregiver and the person receiving care.

Performing Untrained Medical Tasks

Caregivers should avoid doing medical procedures they are not trained for. Tasks like wound care, giving injections, or managing equipment need specific skills. Mistakes could cause infections, injuries, or delays in proper treatment.

If a caregiver notices the need for wound care or medical assistance beyond basic support, they should contact healthcare professionals or professional caregivers. Relying on experts ensures the person’s health is protected and may improve recovery.

Learning simple caregiving skills is helpful but overstepping into medical roles without guidance increases stress and liability. Caregivers can attend workshops or ask healthcare providers about safe limits to what they can manage at home.

Avoiding Professional Help When Necessary

Sometimes caregivers try to handle everything alone and avoid asking for professional support. This can lead to burnout or missed medical needs. Recognizing when to call in experts is key.

Professional caregivers or healthcare providers offer specialized care that can be hard to do at home. For example, if medication management becomes complex, or new health issues arise, they can step in. Ignoring these signs can worsen the situation.

Using available services or scheduling regular checkups helps caregivers avoid overworking and ensures the loved one receives proper care. It’s okay to seek help; it makes caregiving safer and more effective.

Overstepping Legal Boundaries

Caregivers must respect legal limits, especially regarding financial or medical decisions. Acting without proper authority, like a power of attorney, can cause serious issues.

Only individuals with designated powers of attorney have the right to make legal or healthcare decisions for someone else. Without this, caregivers should not handle legal documents, bank accounts, or consent to treatments.

If a caregiver is unsure about their legal role, they should talk to the loved one, family members, or legal advisors. This clarity prevents misunderstandings and protects everyone’s rights.

Respecting legal boundaries helps maintain trust and keeps the caregiving relationship on solid ground. It also ensures decisions follow the wishes and best interests of the person receiving care.

Isolating from Support and Resources

Many family caregivers make the mistake of cutting themselves off from help. This can happen when they refuse outside assistance or shy away from connecting with others who understand their situation. These choices often increase stress and wear down their ability to provide care.

Refusing Community Resources

Some caregivers avoid using community resources like respite care, meal delivery, or transportation services. They might feel guilty or worry that asking for help shows weakness. However, refusing these services can cause exhaustion and burnout.

Community resources exist to ease caregivers’ burdens. Services provided by organizations such as the Family Caregiver Alliance offer practical help to balance daily tasks. Using these resources allows caregivers to rest, improve mental health, and maintain long-term care for their loved ones.

Refusing support often leads to isolation and a heavier workload. Caregivers should remember that accepting help is a smart choice, not a failure.

Avoiding Support Groups and Peer Connections

Caregivers who avoid support groups miss out on emotional relief and shared knowledge. Peer-to-peer support offers a safe space where caregivers can express feelings and exchange advice.

Support groups, whether in person or online, help caregivers feel understood and less alone. The Family Caregiver Alliance, along with many local organizations, provides group meetings focused on caregiver challenges. These forums also offer access to current public policy updates affecting care options.

Isolating from these connections usually deepens loneliness and stress. Regular interaction with peers encourages resilience and improves well-being, making caregiving more sustainable over time.

Overlooking the Needs of the Care Recipient

Caregivers must stay alert to changes in the health and well-being of the person they care for. It is important to respect who the care recipient is as a person, including their wishes and dignity. Missing these important details can create problems in care and affect the quality of life for both.

Failing to Address Changing Health Conditions

When a care recipient has a condition like Alzheimer’s, dementia, or a rare disease, their health can change over time. Caregivers should regularly watch for new symptoms or worsening problems. For example, increased confusion, difficulty with movement, or changes in eating habits might need new care routines or medical attention.

Ignoring these changes causes risks like accidents or health decline. Caregivers should talk often with doctors and update care plans as needed. Asking for help from healthcare professionals can make a big difference in managing these health changes during the caregiving journey.

Ignoring Personal Preferences and Dignity

Every care recipient has their own likes, dislikes, and ways they want to be treated. Caregiving responsibilities grow harder when these preferences are overlooked. For instance, forcing someone with dementia to do something they find uncomfortable can cause distress.

Respecting personal dignity means listening to the care recipient’s wishes about daily routines, clothing, and social activities. Simple things like allowing choice of meals or maintaining privacy can support their self-respect. This kindness helps the person feel valued and makes caregiving more positive for both.

When people take medicine, they sometimes hear about side effects and adverse reactions. These words sound similar, but they mean different things. Side effects are usually expected and mild, while adverse reactions are serious and unexpected problems caused by the medicine. Knowing the difference helps people understand what is normal and when to get help.

Side effects often happen because the medicine is doing what it’s supposed to but also affects other parts of the body. For example, some allergy pills might make someone feel sleepy, which is a common side effect. Adverse reactions, however, are more severe and can be dangerous. These might include serious allergic responses or other harmful effects that need quick medical attention.

Understanding these terms can help patients stay safe. When someone knows what kinds of effects to expect and which ones are harmful, they can make better choices about their treatment. It also helps doctors provide the right care and decide if a medicine should be stopped or changed.

Key Takeaways

• Side effects are often mild and expected when taking medicine.
• Adverse reactions are serious and require immediate attention.
• Recognizing these differences helps people use medicine safely.

Key Differences Between Side Effects and Adverse Reactions

Side effects and adverse reactions both describe unwanted effects from medications, but they differ in how they happen, how serious they are, and how predictable they can be. Knowing these differences helps people understand what to expect and when to seek help.

Definition and Overview

A side effect is an extra effect caused by a medication that happens alongside its main purpose. These effects are usually expected and often mild, like feeling sleepy after taking allergy medicine. Sometimes, side effects can be helpful or harmless.

An adverse reaction, also called an adverse drug reaction (ADR), is a harmful and unintended response to a medicine. Unlike side effects, adverse reactions can be serious and might need medical care, a change in dose, or stopping the drug. They can happen even if the medicine is taken the right way.

Predictability and Severity

Side effects are mostly predictable. Doctors know about them from tests done before the drug is approved. Many side effects are mild, like dry mouth or slight dizziness, and often go away on their own. These rarely cause major health problems.

Adverse reactions can be unpredictable and vary in how bad they are. Some might be mild, but others can be severe, even life-threatening. For example, a person could have a strong allergic reaction that causes swelling or difficulty breathing. These reactions sometimes need urgent care or stopping the medication right away.

Expected Versus Unexpected Responses

Side effects are generally expected because clinical trials have shown what a medication might cause. Patients are usually warned about these effects before starting the medicine.

Adverse reactions are often unexpected. They may not appear during testing and show up only after many people use the medication. This makes them harder to predict. Because of this, patients and doctors must watch for unusual symptoms, report them, and act quickly if something serious occurs.

Side Effects: What to Expect

Side effects are extra effects that happen when taking medicine. They are usually mild and expected. Some side effects can even help with other issues. People should know what to watch for and how to handle these effects safely.

Common Examples and Experiences

Many medicines cause side effects like drowsiness or dry mouth. For example, antidepressants often make people feel sleepy or cause a dry mouth. These effects happen because the medicine works on different parts of the body, not just the illness.

Side effects are often listed on medicine labels or leaflets. They can be mild, such as a headache or mild stomach upset. Most side effects go away after a short time when the body adjusts to the new medicine.

If someone feels unsure about a side effect, it is a good idea to ask a pharmacist. Pharmacists can explain what side effects might happen and how to deal with them.

When Side Effects Are Beneficial

Sometimes side effects are actually helpful. For example, drowsiness caused by certain allergy medicines can help people who have trouble sleeping. This is a side benefit that some doctors use for short-term sleep help.

In other cases, a side effect might ease symptoms that are unrelated to the main illness. However, not all side effects are good, and people should only count on these benefits if their doctor agrees.

Knowing the difference helps people see when a side effect is a minor bonus versus when it might need attention.

How to Manage Typical Side Effects

Most side effects don’t need stopping the medicine. Drinking water can help with dry mouth, while taking medicine with food can reduce nausea. Resting is good for drowsiness, but people should avoid driving or operating machines if they feel very sleepy.

If side effects last a long time or make daily life hard, people should talk to their doctor or pharmacist. Sometimes doctors can change the dose or switch to a different medicine with fewer side effects.

Keeping a simple list of side effects and when they happen can help during medical visits. This makes it easier to find the best way to manage or reduce side effects.

Adverse Reactions: Understanding the Risks

Adverse reactions are unwanted and harmful responses to medications that can range from mild to life-threatening. These reactions may happen even when a drug is taken correctly and can require medical attention or stopping the medication. Knowing the types, examples, and how to tell them apart from side effects helps people stay safe while using medicines.

Types of Harmful Drug Responses

Adverse drug reactions (ADRs) can be predictable or unpredictable. Predictable ADRs usually depend on the dose and include effects like vomiting or low blood pressure. Unpredictable ADRs, like allergic reactions, do not depend on the dose and can be sudden and serious.

These reactions can also affect different parts of the body, such as:

• Skin: rash, itching, or swelling
• Breathing: difficulty or wheezing
• Blood: bruising or clotting problems

Sometimes, an ADR is allergic and causes symptoms like hives or anaphylaxis. Other times, it might be a toxic effect when the drug causes damage to organs like the liver or kidneys.

Examples of Adverse Drug Reactions

Some common examples of ADRs include:

• Severe rash from certain antibiotics or antifungal drugs
• Anaphylaxis, a fast, serious allergic reaction to drugs like penicillin
• Blood clots linked to some birth control pills
• Liver damage from acetaminophen (Tylenol) overdose

These reactions are often not expected before a drug is used widely and can require urgent medical care. Patients should watch for unusual symptoms like rash, swelling, or trouble breathing and get help if they appear.

Distinguishing ADRs from Side Effects

Side effects are usually known and expected, often mild, like drowsiness from allergy medicine or nausea from antibiotics. They often go away on their own or after adjusting the dose. Adverse reactions, however, are harmful and may be rare or unexpected.

Understanding these differences helps doctors decide when a medication is safe to continue or when it should be stopped.

How Healthcare Professionals Help

Healthcare professionals play an important role in managing side effects and adverse reactions. They gather information, monitor symptoms, and decide the best steps to keep patients safe.

Reporting and Monitoring Reactions

Healthcare providers carefully track any side effects or adverse reactions their patients may have. When a patient feels unwell after taking medication, the provider will ask specific questions to understand the symptoms better. This helps to tell if the problem is a mild side effect or a serious adverse reaction.

Doctors, nurses, and pharmacists also report serious reactions to special programs like the FDA’s MedWatch. This helps track how often certain reactions happen and improves overall drug safety. Reporting can happen through online forms, phone calls, or written reports. Pharmacists are an easy and accessible source for patients to ask questions about reactions and how to report them.

When to Contact Your Healthcare Provider

Patients should contact their healthcare provider anytime they notice symptoms that worry them after starting a medication. Mild side effects, like slight drowsiness or upset stomach, can often be managed at home or with simple advice from a pharmacist.

However, symptoms like difficulty breathing, severe rash, swelling, or sudden weakness should be reported immediately. These could be signs of serious adverse reactions needing prompt medical care. The healthcare professional may change the medication, adjust the dose, or stop the drug altogether to prevent harm. Timely communication keeps treatment safe and effective.

Family caregivers carry a heavy load, balancing daily tasks, medical needs, and emotional challenges. What they need most is a blend of emotional support, practical help, and financial relief delivered in a way that respects their time and feelings. This mix helps them provide better care while also taking care of themselves.

Caregivers often face stress and isolation, so having someone to listen and offer breaks is just as important as getting information and resources. Simple access to trustworthy advice, along with opportunities for rest, can make a big difference in their ability to keep going strong. Support must come in many forms—from friends, family, professionals, and community programs—to meet the full range of their needs.

Understanding these key needs is crucial for anyone wanting to support caregivers effectively. When caregivers get the right help, they can avoid burnout and focus on giving their loved ones the care they deserve.

Key Takeaways

• Emotional support and time for self-care are essential for caregivers’ well-being.
• Easy access to resources and reliable information helps caregivers manage their duties.
• Financial and community support reduce the strain and improve caregiving quality.

Core Needs of Family Caregivers

Family caregivers face many challenges as they care for their loved ones. They need clear support in handling daily tasks, finding balance between caregiving and personal life, and understanding the health issues their care recipients face. These needs affect how well they provide care and how they manage their own well-being.

Managing Daily Caregiving Responsibilities

Family caregivers often juggle many duties such as helping with meals, medication, personal hygiene, and transportation. Learning how to organize these tasks helps reduce stress and makes caregiving more manageable.

Clear instructions about medications and treatments are essential. Caregivers need help navigating medical appointments, managing symptoms, and recognizing emergencies. Having access to resources, like checklists or schedules, can keep daily care on track.

Support from professionals or respite care services gives caregivers time to rest and avoid burnout. Reliable tools and help lighten the load, making daily caregiving less overwhelming.

Balancing Personal and Caregiving Roles

Caregivers often put their own needs last, which can harm their health and happiness. Finding ways to balance caregiving with work, family, and social time is key.

Many caregivers need breaks to recharge, which can come from friends, family, or professional respite care. Emotional support, such as counseling or support groups, helps reduce feelings of isolation and stress.

Setting boundaries and asking for help makes it easier to share caregiving duties. Maintaining some personal time helps caregivers stay strong and better able to care for their loved ones.

Understanding the Care Recipient’s Condition

Knowing the medical condition of the person they care for is vital. It helps caregivers respond correctly to changes and provide better care.

Caregivers benefit from clear information about symptoms, treatments, and disease progression. This knowledge reduces confusion and stress when making decisions.

Access to easy-to-understand resources and guidance from healthcare providers builds confidence. Being informed allows caregivers to spot problems early and make smart choices that improve the care recipient’s well-being.

Emotional and Social Support

Family caregivers often face heavy emotional strain and social isolation while managing daily care. They need reliable ways to reduce stress, stay connected with others, and access professional help to maintain their well-being.

Addressing Caregiver Stress and Burnout

Caregiver stress can build up quietly but quickly. It shows through constant tiredness, irritability, trouble sleeping, or feeling overwhelmed. Without support, this stress can lead to burnout, making it hard for caregivers to keep up with their duties.

To manage stress, caregivers benefit from regular breaks and clear boundaries around their time. Encouraging self-care, even in small daily moments, helps reduce emotional fatigue. Listening without judgment and recognizing the signs of burnout early can prevent deeper emotional problems. Support should also include encouragement to seek professional help if symptoms of depression or anxiety arise.

Building a Support Network

A strong support network eases the burden on caregivers by sharing concerns, advice, and practical help. This involves family, friends, and community members who understand the caregiving role and offer consistent support.

Connecting with others through caregiver support groups provides valuable social interaction and reassurance. These groups offer a space to vent frustrations and gain practical tips from people facing similar challenges. Regular contact helps reduce feelings of isolation and creates a sense of belonging. Simple acts, like helping with errands or spending time with the care recipient, build goodwill and relieve pressure.

Accessing Peer and Counseling Services

Peer support groups and counseling services provide targeted emotional relief for caregivers. Peer groups bring together caregivers who share experiences and coping strategies, which helps normalize their feelings and reduce loneliness.

Counseling services offer private, professional help to address deeper emotional struggles. Therapists can teach stress management, effective communication, and coping skills tailored to caregiving challenges. Both peer and counseling support systems help caregivers maintain mental health, which benefits both the caregiver and the person receiving care.

Key options for caregivers include:

Access to Resources and Practical Help

Family caregivers often face obstacles in getting the right support and assistance. They benefit most from clear guidance through medical processes, community help programs, and training that builds their skills and confidence. Having easy access to these resources makes caregiving less stressful and more effective.

Navigating the Healthcare System

Navigating the healthcare system is one of the biggest challenges for caregivers. They need help understanding medical terms, insurance benefits, and treatment plans. A geriatric care manager can be very useful. This professional helps coordinate care, communicates with doctors, and makes sure the senior’s needs are met properly.

Caregivers also benefit from assistance with scheduling appointments and managing medications. Clear, organized records of treatments and doctor instructions make follow-up care easier. Many caregivers find printed medication lists and visit summaries helpful for reducing confusion.

Knowing how to balance healthcare coverage options like Medicare, Medicaid, or veterans’ benefits is important. Access to experts or local agencies that offer advice on these topics helps caregivers avoid costly mistakes and reduces financial strain.

Community and Professional Services

Community and professional services relieve caregivers by sharing the workload. Services such as adult day care, respite care, and transportation ensure the care recipient stays safe while the caregiver takes needed breaks.

Occupational therapists support caregivers by teaching safe techniques for moving and caring for loved ones. This helps prevent injuries and eases daily tasks.

Local agencies often provide meal delivery, cleaning support, and emergency response systems. Volunteer groups can also assist with errands or companionship. Finding and using these services lightens the caregiver’s daily burden and improves quality of life for both.

Educational and Training Resources

Education builds caregiver confidence and skills. Training programs teach practical skills like wound care, mobility assistance, and medication management.

Workshops and online courses offered by trusted organizations give caregivers clear step-by-step instructions. Many also provide emotional support and access to peer groups.

Learning how to recognize signs of burnout and when to seek professional help is a critical part of these resources. Knowledge about legal and financial matters is also important. Access to simple guides on powers of attorney or benefits claims gives caregivers more control and peace of mind.

Financial Support and Security

Family caregivers often face many costs that come from caregiving duties. These include paying for extra supplies, lost income, and managing legal and insurance papers. Planning ahead and using available programs can help ease these financial challenges.

Available Financial Assistance Programs

Many caregivers can get help through government and state programs. Medicaid offers self-directed care options where caregivers may be paid for their time. There are also tax credits and grants designed to reduce out-of-pocket expenses. Some states provide paid family leave policies to support caregivers who need time off work.

Caregivers should check if their loved one’s Medicare Advantage plan or life insurance covers some costs. Local nonprofit groups and caregiver support organizations often have lists of financial aid or payment programs to explore.

Managing Legal and Insurance Matters

It’s important for caregivers to understand important documents like power of attorney, health care proxies, and insurance policies. These papers allow caregivers to make decisions or manage bills legally.

Navigating insurance coverage can be tricky. Caregivers must know what costs are covered by Medicare or Medicaid and what isn’t. Talking to an elder law attorney or financial counselor can help prevent surprises and protect both the caregiver’s and care receiver’s rights.

Planning for Long-Term Financial Security

Caregiving can affect savings and retirement planning. Many caregivers spend their own money on care, which can reduce their financial stability over time. Setting a budget for caregiving costs and tracking expenses helps manage money better.

They should also explore programs designed to protect future savings, like special health savings accounts or state tax credits for caregiving expenses. Long-term planning ensures caregivers don’t risk their own financial independence while helping loved ones.

Self-Care and Respite Options

Taking breaks and caring for oneself are essential for family caregivers. Using planned self-care routines and knowing where to find respite care can help reduce stress and prevent burnout. Both approaches allow caregivers to stay healthy and better support their loved ones.

Importance of Regular Breaks

Family caregivers often face long hours of responsibility, which can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion. Regular breaks provide much-needed relief and help prevent burnout. Even short pauses—like a few hours to run errands or rest—can make a big difference in energy and mood.

Respite care services offer these breaks by temporarily taking over caregiving duties. This care can happen in the home, at adult day centers, or in short-term facilities. Having time away helps caregivers focus on their own health and recharge, which improves their ability to provide care later.

Self-Care Routines and Stress Management

Self-care means making time for activities that support mental and physical well-being. Caregivers can build daily routines that include rest, healthy meals, and exercise. Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, also help reduce stress and improve focus.

It’s important to recognize early signs of stress, like irritability or trouble sleeping, and respond with self-care strategies. Keeping a schedule for personal tasks and hobbies prevents caregiving from taking over all their time. A balance like this supports long-term caregiving success.

Accessing Respite Care Services

Finding and using respite care services helps caregivers take regular, planned breaks. Professional respite care can be arranged through home care agencies, community programs, or adult day centers. Some services offer in-home caregivers, while others provide safe places outside the home for the care recipient.

Costs vary, but some options might be covered by insurance, veteran benefits, or state programs. Caregivers can contact local Area Agencies on Aging or organizations like the ARCH National Respite Network to find services nearby. Informal respite from family or friends is another option to explore.

Connecting with Professional and Community Support

Family caregivers often need both professional help and community resources to manage care well. Accessing skilled care and local programs can ease their burden and improve the quality of life for everyone involved.

Engaging Professional Caregivers

Professional caregivers include nurses, home health aides, and other trained experts who provide medical and personal care. They can assist with tasks that require special skills, such as medication management, wound care, or physical therapy.

Hiring a professional caregiver can offer family caregivers relief and ensure safe, reliable care. In some cases, long-term care facilities like nursing homes may be an option for more intensive support, especially when at-home care is not enough.

It’s important for caregivers to find professionals who are trustworthy and experienced. Many agencies provide background checks and training to guarantee quality. Clear communication about the patient’s needs and expectations helps keep care consistent.

Exploring Community Programs

Community programs offer education, social support, and practical help to caregivers. These include workshops, support groups, and respite care services. Many communities have nonprofits or government agencies that connect caregivers with these resources.

Programs may focus on specific groups, like seniors or certain cultural communities. Some provide free or low-cost services like adult day care or transportation. These resources help reduce isolation and give caregivers time to rest.

Using community support can make caregiving more manageable and less stressful. Caregivers are encouraged to reach out to local agencies or online listings to discover what’s available near them.

Let folks with Alzheimer’s live in their moment, whenever that may be

Dementias Affect the Brain

• • The frontal lobe is located at the front of the brain and is associated with reasoning, motor skills, higher level cognition, and expressive language. At the back of the frontal lobe, near the central sulcus, lies the motor cortex. This area of the brain receives information from various lobes of the brain and utilizes this information to carry out body movements. Damage to the frontal lobe can lead to changes in sexual habits, socialization, and attention as well as increased risk-taking.

• • The parietal lobe is located in the middle section of the brain and is associated with processing tactile sensory information such as pressure, touch, and pain. A portion of the brain known as the somatosensory cortex is located in this lobe and is essential to the processing of the body’s senses.

• • The temporal lobe is located on the bottom section of the brain. This lobe is also the location of the primary auditory cortex, which is important for interpreting sounds and the language we hear. The hippocampus is also located in the temporal lobe, which is why this portion of the brain is also heavily associated with the formation of memories. Damage to the temporal lobe can lead to problems with memory, speech perception, and language skills.

• • The occipital lobe is located at the back portion of the brain and is associated with interpreting visual stimuli and information. The primary visual cortex, which receives and interprets information from the retinas of the eyes, is located in the occipital lobe. Damage to this lobe can cause visual problems such as difficulty recognizing objects, an inability to identify colors, and trouble recognizing words.

Behaviors have a reason

“DICE” model, Dr. Helen Kales

• • “D” reminds us to “describe” a disruptive behavior. What is it? When does it occur and with whom? What is the patient perspective on the behavior? How much distress does it cause patient and caregiver?

• • “I” reminds us to “investigate” the causes of the behavior. Is it an indicator of unrecognized pain, frustration, fear, or boredom? Does it represent medication side effects or an undiscovered medical or psychiatric condition? Is it the result of sensory changes and functional limitations? Does it represent an inappropriate caregiver expectation or a cultural issue?

• • “C” reminds us to “create” an intervention that addresses the behavior directly. This may include diagnosing and treating pain-inducing physical conditions such as constipation, using a behavioral analysis to craft a behavioral treatment plan, supporting the caregivers, simplifying tasks, finding meaningful activities, or increasing/decreasing stimulation in the environment. Individualized music therapy, for example, can take into account a person’s musical preference and provides soothing music through headphones and an MP3 player. When appropriate, the created intervention may include use of an appropriately chosen and monitored medication.

• • Finally, the very important “E” reminds us to “evaluate” the effect of the intervention, noting whether it has helped and also whether there have also been unintended consequences or side effects of the intervention.

Medications

Medications used for depression, anxiety, aggression & restlessness:

• • Decreased or increased movement

• • mood or mental changes, including abnormal thinking, agitation, anxiety, confusion, and feelings of not caring

• • shortness of breath

• • skin rash

• • swelling

Medications used for severe aggression & restlessness:

• • Abnormal dreams

• • anxiety

• • bloody nose

• • blurred vision

• • bruising burning, crawling, itching, numbness, prickling, “pins and needles”, or tingling feelings

• • change in personality

• • change in walking and balance

• • dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up from a lying or sitting position suddenly

• • lip smacking or puckering

• • loss of bladder control

• • loss of strength or energy

• • muscle pain or stiffness

• • muscle tension or tightness

• • rapid or worm-like movements of the tongue

• • rapid weight gain

• • restlessness

• • seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not there

• • shakiness and unsteady walk

• • slurred speech

• • unsteadiness, trembling, or other problems with muscle control or coordination

• • yellow eyes or skin

Medications use to treat agitation:

• • Changes in patterns and rhythms of speech

• • increased sweating

• • loss of strength or energy

• • low blood pressure

• • nightmares

• • shakiness and unsteady walk

• • slurred speech

• • trouble in speaking

• • unsteadiness, trembling, or other problems with muscle control or coordination

• • unusual drowsiness, dullness, tiredness, weakness, or feeling of sluggishness

• • unusual excitement, nervousness, restlessness, or irritability

• • unusual paleness unusual weak feeling

Medications used to treat paranoia, hallucinations, severe aggression, and severe agitation:

• • changes in patterns and rhythms of speech

• • drooling

• • fever, muscle aches, or sore throat

• • inability to move the eyes

• • inability to sit still

• • increased blinking or spasms of the eyelid

• • lip smacking or puckering

• • loss of balance control

• • rapid or worm-like movements of the tongue

• • restlessness

• • shakiness in the legs, arms, hands, or feet

• • shuffling walk

• • slowed movements

• • slurred speech

• • sores, ulcers, or white spots on the lips or in the mouth

• • uncontrolled twisting movements of the neck, trunk, arms, or legs

Medications used for sleep:

• • Anxiety

• • bladder pain

• • bloody or cloudy urine

• • burning, crawling, itching, numbness, prickling, “pins and needles”, or tingling feelings

• • chills

• • crying

• • decreased awareness or responsiveness

• • dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up from lying or sitting position

• • dry mouth

• • euphoria

• • fainting

• • irregular heartbeats

• • irritability

• • lower back or side pain

• • paranoia

• • quick to react or overreact emotionally

• • rapidly changing moods

• • restlessness

• • seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not there

• • shakiness in the legs, arms, hands, or feet

• • shortness of breath

Medications that people with AD should not take:

• • Hot as a hare: increased body temperature

• • Blind as a bat: mydriasis (dilated pupils)

• • Dry as a bone: dry mouth, dry eyes, decreased sweat

• • Red as a beet: flushed face

• Mad as a hatter: delirium

1. 1. You are still mad about it and are fighting it.

1. 1. You are only trying one approach to finding relief.

1. 1. You have given up control of your treatment options because you feel so bad.

1. 1. You may have been misdiagnosed.

1. 1. You have accepted that nothing else can be done and you just need to learn to live with it.

Chronic Pain and our Brain

Treat Chronic Pain with more than 1 approach

How you are affected by Chronic Pain

What if your pain management treatment plan is wrong for you?

1. 1. Eat two fruits every day and drink at least 32 oz. of water during the day.  Decide how much liquid you can drink in one sitting, 2 oz., 4 oz., etc. Do you like it cold, room temperature, iced, hot, add lemon, lime, or an orange if you need a flavor.  Alternate your favorite beverage with a glass of water.  Other liquids count (except for alcohol and fruit juices/sugary drinks), but they are not the best. Keeping hydrated will hep your body and your brain.

1. 1. Walk.  If you do not currently walk, start low and go slow.  5 minutes daily then increase by 2 minutes every week until you can get to 30 minutes per day.  You can do 10 minutes three times a day. Some days may be better than others, be kind to yourself and get back on track as soon as possible. Our bodies are made to move.

1. 1. Strengthen your legs.  One exercise is to do chair stands, place a pillow on the back of the seat and sit down and then stand up (you may need to use a chair or table to steady yourself).  Do 5 repetitions twice a day two times per week.  Three times per week, when you get stronger.  Goal is 8 to 12 repetitions without having to use a chair or table to steady yourself.  Ankle circles (10 rotations each way while seated),  Knee flexion (stand behind a chair and lift your leg up towards your bottom- 6-10 each leg), Knee extension (Seated in a chair extend knee as straight as possible, hold for 3 to 5 seconds and slowly relax back down to floor), Calf raises (use a chair for balance and raise up onto your toes, hold for 2 seconds and go back down & do 6 to 12 reps)

If you do any of the following, you are a family caregiver!

• • Grocery shop

• • Make doctor’s appointments

• • See that they get to the grocery store or doctor’s office(s) by having someone else take them

• • Pick up prescriptions, run errands, mow the lawn

• • Laundry

• • Clean the house

• • Make sure that they get to the hairdresser or barber

• • Take over their finances (paying bills, making sure insurance policies are in place and paid, etc.)

• • Find and pay for in-home care (whether it is their money or your money)

• • If you help with any of the daily living activities (bathing, dressing, brushing or hair and teeth, toileting, feeding or preparing meals

• • Taking time off of work to help

Health Risks of Family Caregivers

• • Stomach or digestive issues

• • Headaches

• • Low back pain

• • Sleep disturbances or Insomnia

• • Depression

• • Anxiety

• • Weight gain

• • You can’t concentrate very well

• • Heart disease

How will you manage your own stress?

Unhealthy Ways:

• • Drinking excessively

• • Smoking

• • Overworking

• • Increasing caffeine consumption

• • Buying stuff/Overspending

• • Taking medications inappropriately (even over-the-counter medications)

• • Not sleeping

• • Over-eating or Under-eating

• • Eating too many sweets

• • Sleeping too much

Healthy Ways:

• • Choose more healthy food options

• • Walk or run for 20-30 minutes a day

• • Decrease or stop your alcohol intake

• • Drink more water throughout the day

• • Take a few hours for yourself to do things that you enjoy every week

• • Get good sleep

• • Learn deep breathing techniques and practice daily for 5 minutes

• • Having a sense of humor even inappropriate humor is a stress reliever

My shameless plug for my services:

Do you have your list ready?

Yes, Get Your List Ready

You are in the midst of caring for your loved one and you haven’t slept much, you can’t remember the last time that you had a “real” meal and maybe you haven’t even been to your own home in two or three days.  You are overwhelmed, exhausted, mentally whipped and want to just run away But, you don’t run away and you just “suck-it-up buttercup.”

People come to visit and maybe even bring a meal or stay for a while.  It is good to have a few visitors and to take a little break.  After a while, it is time for them to leave and as they are leaving, they may say something like… “Let me know if I can help you in any way.”  Or, “Call me, if you need anything.”

Caregivers: Be prepared for those that ask what you need

Most really do mean it.  They will help you, they just do not know what you need help with or what you want help with.  People get territorial.  Of course you need help and would like help with …” Oh crap, I can’t think of anything now that I have been put on the spot. “So, you just smile and say, “We are fine, right now.”

Five minutes after they leave, you think of everything that you do need help with.  But, do you call them and let them know?  You mean to let them know but then life happens and you are back in caregiver mode.

What might your life look like if you actually had a list of things that you could use some help with already made?  Now let’s think outside the box for a few minutes… what are the three things that would help YOU the most?

Sitting with your loved one for three hours on Thursday

Doing Your laundry on ______________

Cleaning Your house on ______________

Mowing Your lawn on ________________

Making a meal and bringing to where you are on ______________

Having the oil changed in your vehicle on ____________________

Coming and visiting with you on ____________________________

Mowing your loved ones lawn on ___________________________

Doing laundry for your loved one on ________________________

Cleaning the gutters on __________________________________

Caregivers: It is okay to make your life easier

Whatever it is that will make your life a little easier is what you need to write down and put a day, date or time on it!  Why put a time frame on it?  So, if they can’t do it the day or time you ask for they will think of a day and time that they can do it for you.  You could always have a chores list posted on the refrigerator and have people sign up for things that they are willing to do and can do.  For example, I don’t mind doing laundry, running errands or putting a meal together. I do mind cleaning the house, dusting and sitting with someone.  So, I will do the things that I don’t mind doing and I will be glad to help you.  Someone else may be perfectly fine with sitting with your loved one and another may be perfectly fine with cleaning your house or your loved ones house.  Give people the jobs that they like to do or do not mind doing.  Don’t give them things they hate doing.  You will have to see what works best for you.  If having a chores list and people signing up does not work, then have a list of three things and tell them what they are and let them pick.

Be open to the possibility that people care for you and truly want to help you.  Don’t rob them of a blessing.

Do you know the one thing that gets you in to the most trouble? When you ASSUME!

It can cause us to go to war with our spouses or significant others and not even know why. It causes hurt, confusion, anger, and even the silent treatment.  That one thing is an assumption.

We have the best of intentions, but …

We all make assumptions. Look at things from our own point of view and our own life experiences. We believe that when someone we love is telling us something that concerns them or upsets them, that we need to “fix it” or “find a solution.” For me, that is in my nature and I automatically go into assessing the problem or issue and finding a solution.  It works great for my clients, but not so great for my loved ones as they just wanted to vent.  Of course, had they told me that they just wanted to vent, then I would be more than happy to listen and empathize with them.  But that is a whole other conversation about communicating for understanding.

Situations may be similar, but they are not the same

Assume makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”  Why?  Because we really don’t know what is going on in another person’s mind. Even with our closest relationships, we don’t really know what they are thinking.  We know what is going on in our mind, accessing our memories of our version of a similar situation.  Guess what?  The situations may very well be similar but they are not the same. People are different, parameters are different, circumstances are different, and consequences may be different. We just don’t know.

To those that have felt bulldozed by us, most of us are really sorry and we did not mean to make you feel as though you could not handle your own issues, usurp your authority or your own decision making rights.  We really do know that you can make your own choices and handle your own issues.

Be still and listen, that is all

Sometimes, people just need to vent, rant and rave, to get it all out. Please don’t automatically assume they want you to problem solve for them.  This is what I am trying to always remember to do myself…I will listen, try my best to understand and before I offer any advice or recommendations, ask if they would like some help.  I am a work in progress and it is okay that you are a work in progress too.  At least you do care.

Have a great day.

Pat

Are your meds hurting you, helping you or doing nothing at all?

Right Meds, Right Dose, Right Person, Right Now

List of most common medications are listed below.

Are you tired of the trial and error method on your prescription medications?  Are you ready to know what will work and what won’t work?  Are you ready to invest in yourself and your health?  If they answer is, Yes, to any of those questions, then the genetics test for drug-gene medication response is for you.  Do it once and use the information for the rest of your life.

It is an in-home, cheek swab with a form for your doctor to sign. Yes, a part of my services are to help you with the ordering process, filling out the forms, submitting the sample, emailing your test results to you and going over them with you via telephone.

FAQs – Is it covered by insurance?  I do not bill insurance.  You may pay for it and turn in bill for reimbursement to see if your insurance will pay for the test.  It is usually covered by Health Savings Accounts and Flexible Spending Accounts. If none of these apply, then you may be able to count it off on your income taxes as a medical expense.  How much does the test cost?  $799.00 (price subject to change if manufacturer changes their pricing)

Check the following medications listed below to see if you would benefit from knowing what will work, what won’t work and what might work.  It is correct that you only have to do this test once as your genes do not change.  The report will be updated as more information is acquired.

Medication List for Comprehensive Testing for Medication Response (the most common ones are listed here)

Ready to Order the RightMed® Test

Contact:  Pat Collins

Empowering Health Options

Ttelephone:  865-684-8771 (if I am unable to answer, please leave me a message and I will return your call)

Email – pat@wun.iax.mybluehost.me

Here are some symptoms of Compassion Fatigue:

Are you at risk for Caregiver Burnout?

What can you do to alleviate Compassion Fatigue as a Caregiver?

1. 1. Be open to the possibility that you can provide better care AND get your life back

1. 1. At about the 3 year mark, you are probably at the end of your rope and need someone to help.  When you get to this point and are ready for help, that is when I can be of service to your loved one and to you too.

1. 1. Talk therapy, venting to a trusted friend.

1. 1. Regular exercise

1. 1. Recognize that self-care is necessary and not selfish.

1. 1. Eating healthier foods.

1. 1. Drinking more water every day

1. 1. Find something you enjoy and do it weekly

1. 1. Attend support group meetings

You may not be able to metabolize the medication, at all, for it to become effective. Pro-drugs must be converted into their active metabolite in order to work inside the body. Maybe, your body burns through the medication too quickly for it to be of help to you. How can you find out? A gene test for medications.

Most of us have experienced it ourselves or know of someone who has made the statement that a certain medication just did not work for them. What do you do then?

Call your doctor and tell them that it isn’t working? Continue taking the medication anyway? Just stop taking the medication and do not tell the doctor?

Those are the most common things that people do. So, let’s look at them and see what usually happens and how our health may be damaged. Hang on; it’s going to be a bumpy ride. Some of you will nod your head in agreement, some will begin to wonder how to be in better control of their situation and some will shrug their shoulders and just go, “Oh well, it is what it is.” Those of you that are the “shruggers” can stop reading now. This is not for you.

I know that ibuprofen works for me and I know that naproxen is like taking water, for me. Others may have the opposite reaction in their own bodies. That is a minor inconvenience on the scale of taking a medication for a need. What about when you have a surgery?

Pharmacogenomics for opioid metabolism would have made a difference for me

Yes, indeed. I had a surgery and was given a prescription for Percocet® (oxycodone & acetaminophen) for the post-op pain. Remember, we are on IV morphine (usually) before we are released. I was sore and in some pain, but that is just surgery. You will never be completely free of pain that is just not realistic. I am a pharmacist and I know this and am okay with it. I also know that the pain won’t last forever and I will do what I need to do to get better as fast as possible. That is just my nature. Now it is time for a pain pill. I take it and go on about my business. It gets to be about an hour later and I know that it takes 30 – 45 minutes to be absorbed, metabolized to the active drug and move on throughout the body. Something is wrong! I am hurting, really hurting. I take 800mg of Ibuprofen and another pain pill. An hour later, I am behind in pain management.

I call my surgeon and tell them that I cannot tolerate the Percocet®, to call in something else. Of course they think that I want another medication that is a Schedule II narcotic and would have to be written, picked up and then taken to the pharmacy to be filled. I told them no, just call in generic Vicodin®. They did. I could take 2 of them and the Ibuprofen and deal with the post-op pain.

Why didn’t I tell my doctor that the Percocet® was not working? I knew that it wasn’t working but at the time I had no proof as to why. This was the mid-1990’s. You know as well as I do, that when you tell your doctor a pain medication is not working and that you need “Your drug of choice, one that you know works for you.” You are viewed with skepticism and more likely than not a “drug seeker” or worse a “drug abuser.”

“What do you mean it is not working, it is one of the most powerful drugs that we have?” What you want to say versus what you do say is two different things. You want to say, “Dammit, I know that, but it is not working for me. I don’t care that you think it should work. It isn’t and I should not have to suffer because you are being stupid and not able to consider that not every drug works for every patient the exact same way!” Sometimes you have to help the doctors along in understanding drug metabolism and pro-drug vs active drug. The average person doesn’t know that and they should not be expected to know that. It is not their area of expertise.

Until you have had a treatment failure with pain management, you do not understand

Until a physician has experienced the lack of pain relief in their own life, they do not understand it and will not get it. Why? Because they have had one semester of pharmacology in medical school and most do not know how the medications work or do not work in certain populations. Don’t even get me started on drug reps and what they spout out about their products. Crap, we may be here all day on this one topic. That is okay, I will do other blogs on other topics. This is important to a lot of folks.

How is narcotic pain medication dosed? Guess what? It is based on morphine equivalents. Morphine is the standard. You aren’t even getting the morphine unless you are a cancer patient and then you will be given that reluctantly. Look, I get it we need to be more aware and mindful of pain medications. I agree with that. It has been proven that the more effective the pain relief at the beginning the less pain medication is used overall and the quicker the patient is off the narcotic and back to being normal. That is what we all want. I know some of you are worrying about drug addiction. There is a difference between drug addiction and drug dependence. Your body may be dependent upon a medication but that does not mean you are addicted.

There are some folks that are addicted and for them it is way beyond pain control. They have a mental and physical dependence with an uncontrollable desire/behavior in getting and using the substance. I have talked to folks that are addicted to substances. What I found out was that it wasn’t about getting high; it was about not getting sick while coming off the substance. All of the ones that I talked with all stated that you will never get back to the first high that you experienced your first time, but would still keep trying to achieve it. It is the pattern that we see over and over again. That and undiagnosed depression. Quite a few folks are self-medicating and that includes alcohol and nicotine too. Another topic for another time too, moving on to the rest of our story.

I always chase a few rabbits. Keep count. In one of my talks with a group we chased eight rabbits. Everyone had a good time and got the answers that they needed.

What type of metabolizer are you?

Back to the pain medication issues and the whys… We have known for some time that there were differences in pain relief for people, but why? What can we look at or find out to better help these folks without them being looked at as drug seekers or drug abusers. Everyone deserves a better quality of life. Is it in metabolism, absorption and excretion? Yes, yes it is. Now we have the genetic predictors of how you metabolize or do not metabolize certain drugs. This explains why some people get great relief from certain medications and others get no relief at all.

For myself, I am one of the 10% of the population that cannot metabolize Percocet® into the active metabolite (the one that causes the pain relief) nor can I convert enough Vicodin® (which is why I needed a much higher dosage) to get some pain relief. Now I have the proof that the medication that I do need is actually morphine.

I am not a chronic pain patient, but in my brief experience with surgery and other acute painful situations, I get why people will do almost anything to get some relief. I have had two migraines to where I would have taken anything that I could have gotten my hands on to get some relief from that pain.

What if by having the genetic tests done for yourself, you could find out what medications would work the best for you and your needs? What would your life look like? What could your family life actually be like?

I have had mine done and now have the reports to use the rest of my life. Whether I need antidepressants, blood pressure medications, heart drugs, chemotherapy drugs, Alzheimer’s disease medications or Parkinson’s medications, I have the list of medications that will work for me and those that definitely will not work for me and those that may work for me. Another thing to consider, the test will also help you figure out what medication(s) may be causing your terrible side effects and/or adverse reactions.

I researched this type of testing two years ago, but it was cost prohibitive. Over $2,000.00! Now, it is way more affordable. I am not posting the price here, but will be glad to share it with you via email or telephone. The one I am affiliated with was developed in connection with the Mayo Clinic.

Have your test done now and use it for years. Yes, I get a fee for providing this service. Even if I didn’t I would recommend it anyway. Invest in yourself and your health today. As a bonus, you get to talk with me when your test results are ready and we go over them and get you back in control of your healthcare needs.

Have a great day and pass this information along to those who may benefit from this information.

Pat Collins
Empowering Health Options

865-684-8771 (If I am unable to answer, please leave a message.)

Email pat@wun.iax.mybluehost.me

We have heard it, possibly said it and probably thought it … “My mom is killing me!”  You know what I mean and if you don’t then this article is not for you.  She is not literally killing you, but frustrating the hell out of you.

Family Caregiving Conflicting Feelings

You have all of these things running through your mind…I have to be at work, I have to help my kids, I have to show up for my other commitments; there is just not enough time in the day!  What did you overlook?  Your spouse/significant other and yourself, we have all done it.  The things that you are secure about, you kind of push to the side. We always put ourselves and our needs last so, what are one or ten more things?

Signs we may be having conflicting feelings

Ponder a few minutes on neglect.  That is what we are doing. We are neglecting our partners, we are neglecting ourselves.  How long will it be before problems in our relationships pop-up?  How long will it be before we start feeling run down, exhausted, and ailments start popping up?  We may even get sick with a cold or infection of some sort.  Our low back begins to hurt all of the time, our migraines become more frequent, our stomach is just in knots.  Yes, you know what is coming next…the pouncing on anything and anyone that pisses you off.  Even things that normally would not phase you seem like big deals now.  What do you leave in your wake?  Then hurt feelings of your partner, your kids, fellow workers, your friends, and your mom?

Yeah, I know, we were going to talk about conflicting feelings. I see it as you love this person and want the best for them and their care BUT, you are so mad, angry and frustrated at them that you want to either choke them or run away. You truly love this person but you just do not like them right now and you are just plain mad. Oops, how can I feel that way?  I can’t. But, I do?  Then I feel shitty for feeling the way that I feel. Well, hell, now what do I do. You are human Take a breath, and realize it’s your reptilian part of your brain that is reacting and not your logical brain.  The logical brain takes about 3 more seconds to kick in and be available to you for use.  You really aren’t mad at your mom, you are really mad at the situation, the struggles, the problems and all of the confusing and probably contradicting information that you are receiving all at the same time.

Be kinder to yourself.  Realize that your own self- care is not a luxury; it is a necessity for you to be able to provide better care to your loved one.  It still counts, even if you are not the “hands-on” caregiver but more of the “overseer to needed care.”

For those that recognize that they may need some help, as this is not their area of expertise, I offer services and support plans that are specific to you and your loved ones needs.  Let’s have a conversation to see if I may be of service to you.

Pat Collins

865=684-8771 (leave a message, if I am unable to answer and I will return your call)

1. 1. Get Organized

1. 1. Prioritize

1. 1. List Your Resources

1. 1. Assess Needs

1. 1. Prepare a Proactive Plan

Most of us want to stay at home until we die.  We want our independence and our familiar surroundings for as long as possible.  Some of us will have to transition to other levels of care due to our future health needs.  But until that time, we want to stay in our own home for as long as it is safely possible.

5 Tips for Older Adults

How can we live our life on our own terms?  Stay as healthy and physically active as possible.  Yes, we will have to modify some of our activities, but we will still be active and social.  Maybe I should have placed Proactive Plan as number one, but some folks freak at having to figure out a plan when they do not know where to begin.

1. 1.  Get Organized

Find your ducks and get them in the same pond.  What insurance plans do you currently have?  List them with the name, policy number and a telephone number.  Medical, Dental, Long-term care insurance policy and any other insurance benefit policy.  Next, your personal medical history, all of your physicians and healthcare team members, with telephone numbers, list of current medications, dosages and why you are taking them (you may be taking them for some other reason than their intended use).

Do you have a Will, medical and financial power of attorney?  Do you have a living Will that states your wishes and desires for your medical care should you become incapacitated?  If not, have a party and invite your family and friends so that everyone can do it together.  Get it written down.  Now, you need to make it legal.  You can use Legal Shield (or something like that), that is affordable and have your documents legalized.  Now that this is done, continue your party and enjoy. A part of being independent and making your own decision is to take responsibility and the necessary steps to make it happen.

Find your retirement investment(s) information, your pension plan, any other investments that you may have and list the name, policy or account number and telephone number. List all of your banking information and investment advisor’s name and telephone number. Deeds, mortgage loan information, debts owed (credit cards too), vehicle titles,

Get a file box or a fire proof safe and place this information in there.  Do not just throw it in there; you have worked hard to gather this information so let’s keep it organized.  Use file folders for each item or label envelopes for each item.

2. Prioritize

Assess where you are right now.  What might you need to address in the next 6 months?  Chronic health concerns and issues, evaluating the safety of your home, adaptive needs, home repair or even some remodeling to allow for safer aging in place (decreasing fall risks), vision, hearing and balance checks,

Wills and powers of attorney, preventing complications of chronic health conditions, increasing lighting in the home, social engagements, increasing physical activity, transportation needs should you become unable to drive, grab bars in shower/tub, eating for your body’s needs (nutritional balance), money coming in and bill payments going out, etc.

Write them down and then rank them in order of importance.  Why write them down?   What gets written down gets done.

3.   List Your Resources

Write down your income resources and how much you can take in each month.  What investments, pension plans, retirement plans do you have access to and what can you get to easily and what would take time to access?  What are the benefits of your medical insurance?  If you have long-term care insurance what will it pay per day and will it cover in-home care?  For how long?  Would you be willing to sell your current home to move to another home that would be better suited for you and your needs?  Everything that you own is a resource that you can use for your needs.

Consider your non-monetary resources such as family, friends, church, civic organizations, government programs and local offices on aging in your area.  Find out what is available to you for low to no cost.  Resources are things that can benefit you socially, spiritually, emotionally, and even physically.

4.  Assess Needs

Realistically look at and write down what you will need to age in place.  Once that is done, is it realistic or feasible to stay where you are or might you need to find another place?  Can you be objective?  Sometimes we can and sometimes we can’t.  An occupational therapist can come to your home and assess the situation for safety.  Will you need help with cleaning and chores?  Can you afford to pay someone to handle that for you?  Please do not assume your family will do this for you or that they can stay with you whenever you need them to.  They may want to help, but because of their responsibilities they are unable to meet your work needs.  Your needs will change over time and you need to expect that and readjust as needed.  Be flexible and open to the possibility of change.  Change doesn’t have to be bad.

5.  Prepare a Proactive Plan

For those of you that fly by the seat of your pants….. You drive the rest of us crazy.  Stress will make you do things that you would not normally do.  You cannot be rational in a stressful situation.  What will a proactive plan provide you?  A roadmap or guide so that you have what you need whenever a situation arises and you can make better decisions and choices.  You do have to play the “What if” game so that you can look at your choices or options.

Benefits of a proactive plan include:  Less stress, More options, Better communication, You know what resources you have and how to access them, You have the information you need in most of your “what if” situations, You get to be with your loved one at a time when they need you emotionally and physically without feeling like a piece of taffy being pulled in 5 different directions all at the same time.  Remember, whether you have a plan or don’t have a plan, there will be a plan made. It’s all about having that plan to access when you need it and are too stressed out to do your research.

If you need help, contact me Pat Collins @865-684-8771 or email me at pat@wun.iax.mybluehost.me  I work with folks throughout the U.S.