I want to share this infomation with you because I truly believe that it can help you to stress less. I have never let another person do a blog for my people, but I have met Katherine and talked with her. She has done this blog post specifically for my peeps. This is Not “woo-woo” stuff. It is the real deal. By the way, mindful meditation is also used in chronic pain patients and PTSD folks. Pat

Caring for a loved one can be both a rewarding and challenging experience. As a caregiver, it’s essential to strike a balance between providing care and ensuring your own well-being. One effective way to achieve this balance is by incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Mindfulness can help you stay present, manage stress, and cultivate self-compassion while caring for your loved one.

When I started practicing mindfulness, I didn’t actually realize that was what I was doing. I was searching for a way to reduce my stress while increasing my ongoing sense of calm. I searched for everything that might help me and discovered that I was seeking mindfulness along the way.

Understanding and practicing mindfulness allows you to maintain a more grounded and focused demeanor in challenging situations. By incorporating mindfulness techniques into your caregiving tasks, you’ll be more equipped to manage stress and prevent caregiver burnout. Moreover, by integrating self-care into your schedule, you’ll be better prepared to provide care and support for your loved one.

Key Takeaways

• Incorporate mindfulness techniques to balance caregiving and self-care
• Cultivate self-compassion and resilience through mindfulness practices
• Prioritize mindfulness to ensure emotional well-being and a supportive caregiving relationship.

Understanding Mindfulness As A Caregiver

As a caregiver, it’s essential to take care of yourself as well as your loved one. Practicing mindfulness can greatly benefit both you and the person you’re caring for. It’s important to understand what mindfulness is and how it can help you.

Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully aware of your thoughts, emotions, and sensations without judgment. It allows you to observe your thoughts and feelings as they arise and let them pass without getting caught up in them.

Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routines, such as while you’re brushing your teeth, doing the dishes or even while you’re caregiving. This will help you stay more present and attentive in both your self-care and care for your loved one.

Remember, the goal is not to eliminate stress or thoughts altogether but to cultivate an awareness of them, so you can better cope with the challenges that caregiving may bring. Embracing mindfulness practices can help reduce burnout and compassion fatigue.

By understanding the concept of mindfulness and incorporating it into your caregiving routine, you will not only improve your own well-being, but also be better equipped to care for your loved one with patience, compassion, and presence.

Mindfulness Techniques As Caregiving Tasks

By incorporating mindfulness techniques into your daily tasks, you can reduce stress, increase self-awareness, and find a sense of balance in your life. Here are some simple ways to bring mindfulness into your everyday routine.

Start your day with a few minutes of self-check-in. When you wake up, take some time to observe your emotions, physical sensations, and thoughts. This practice can help you become more aware of your internal state and set a positive intention for the day ahead. Embracing these types of rituals is an effective way to ease into your day mindfully.

While you’re engaged in daily tasks, try to practice single-tasking. Instead of multitasking, focus your attention on one activity at a time. This allows you to fully engage with the task at hand and cultivate a sense of presence. Harvard Health recommends paying close attention to your senses, such as what you can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste, as you complete each task. This can help you stay grounded and present.

Incorporating mindfulness into your daily tasks can provide a sense of calm and stability during challenging times. By staying present and focused on the task at hand, you’ll be better equipped to provide care and support for your loved one while also taking care of yourself.

Mindfulness Exercises While Caring for Others

Sustainable Mindful Practices

Caring for a loved one can be emotionally and physically taxing. To make mindfulness a sustainable part of your daily routine, consider incorporating various practices.

1. Acknowledge emotions: As a caregiver, you might experience a variety of feelings like stress, anxiety, or even guilt. It is essential to allow space for these feelings and provide self-compassion. By recognizing your emotions, you can respond more effectively to your own needs and avoid burnout.
   
   
2. Short meditation sessions: Start with just a few minutes of meditation every day. Start with just one minute. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. As your practice develops, you can gradually increase the duration of your meditation sessions.
   
   
3. Body scans: As described on Mindful.org, a body scan involves paying attention to different parts of your body and the sensations you may be experiencing. This practice is a great way to cultivate mindfulness and help you become more aware of your well-being.
   
   
4. Gratitude exercises: At the start or end of the day, take a moment to reflect on the things you are grateful for in your life. This practice can help you develop a positive mindset and maintain a healthy perspective when facing caregiving challenges.
   
   
5. Breathing: A simple breathwork meditation is a simple yet powerful exercise that can help you when thoughts and distractions arise.
6. Stay connected: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your experiences and listening to others’ can help you build connections and find solace in a community of people who understand your caregiving journey.
   
   
7. Maintain your own physical health: Eating well, staying hydrated, and getting regular exercise are vital components of self-care. Try to create a realistic routine that includes time for physical activities like walking, yoga, or stretching. Remember, a healthy you is better equipped to provide care for your loved one.

Remember, taking care of yourself is just as important as caring for your loved one. Making time for mindfulness and self-care offers you the strength and resilience needed to be the best caregiver you can be. Give yourself permission to prioritize your well-being, and you’ll find that caring for them becomes a more sustainable and fulfilling experience.

Creating a Mindful Environment

Creating a mindful environment can greatly enhance your ability to care for both yourself and your loved one. Begin by decluttering your living space. Removing unnecessary items and keeping things tidy can help create a soothing atmosphere, allowing you to focus on the present moment.

Incorporate elements of nature into your surroundings, such as plants or water features. These natural elements can bring a sense of calm and tranquility, making it easier for you to practice mindfulness. Additionally, consider setting up a dedicated space for meditation or quiet reflection – even just a comfortable chair in a calm corner can be helpful.

When caring for a loved one, it’s important to be aware of your own emotional state. Cultivating mindfulness allows you to develop greater awareness of the present moment, including your current emotions, thoughts, and feelings. During challenging times, give yourself permission to acknowledge your emotions without judgment. This will help you respond more effectively to the situation at hand.

Creating a mindful environment and letting go of guilt and self-criticism can prove to be invaluable in building resilience as a caregiver. Balancing mindfulness and care helps you maintain a strong, supportive, and nurturing relationship with your loved one, ensuring that both of your needs are met.

Katherine Chestnut

Primary family caregivers are the unsung heroes of our society. They are the ones who provide care, love, and support to their loved ones who are ill, disabled, or elderly. Being a primary family caregiver is a challenging role that requires a lot of physical and emotional energy. The responsibilities of a caregiver can be overwhelming, and often they may feel isolated and unsupported. This is where family and friends come in. In this post, we will explore how family and friends can assist primary family caregivers. We will discuss practical ways that you can support and help caregivers, including offering respite care, providing emotional support, and connecting them with resources. By supporting primary family caregivers, we can help lighten the load and show them that they are not alone in their journey.

1.   Introduction: Understanding the role of primary family caregivers

Introduction: Understanding the role of primary family caregivers because some of you have no clue what a family caregiver does or goes through.

Primary family caregivers play a vital role in the lives of their loved ones who require care and support. The dedication and selflessness of primary family caregivers are unparalleled, as they navigate the challenges and demands of caregiving while juggling their own personal and professional lives.

The role of a primary family caregiver goes far beyond just assisting with daily tasks. They become the pillars of strength, advocates, and sources of comfort for their loved ones. They provide companionship, manage medications, coordinate medical appointments, handle household chores, and offer emotional support during difficult times. The responsibilities can be overwhelming, leading to stress, burnout, and even neglect of their own well-being.

2. The challenges faced by primary family caregivers

Being a primary family caregiver is not an easy task. It comes with a multitude of challenges that can often be overwhelming. These unsung heroes take on the responsibility of caring for a loved one, whether it be an aging parent, a disabled sibling, or a child with special needs.

One of the most significant challenges faced by primary family caregivers is the physical and emotional toll it can take on them. They often find themselves juggling multiple roles and responsibilities, from managing medications and doctor’s appointments to providing personal care and emotional support. This constant demand for their time and energy can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and even feelings of isolation, frustration, and anger.

Financial strain is another common challenge faced by primary family caregivers. The costs associated with caregiving, such as medical expenses, specialized equipment, and home modifications, can quickly add up. Many caregivers find themselves sacrificing their own financial stability and career advancement to prioritize the needs of their loved ones.

In addition to these challenges, primary family caregivers often face a lack of support and understanding from society. Caregiving can be a lonely journey, as friends and acquaintances may not fully comprehend the daily struggles and sacrifices involved. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a sense of being undervalued.

It is crucial for family and friends to recognize and understand these challenges. By offering support and assistance to primary family caregivers, we can alleviate some of the burdens they face. This can be as simple as offering a listening ear, providing respite care to give them a break, or helping with errands and household tasks. Even doing some of the tasks and chores at the caregiver’s house.

3. The importance of support from family and friends

When it comes to caregiving, the importance of support from family and friends cannot be overstated. Primary family caregivers shoulder a significant amount of responsibility and often face physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. This is where the support system of family and friends plays a crucial role.

The support of loved ones provides much-needed respite for the primary family caregiver. Taking care of a loved one can be a 24/7 commitment, leaving little time for self-care or personal pursuits. Family and friends can step in to offer temporary relief, allowing the caregiver to take a break, recharge, and attend to their own needs. This support not only prevents burnout but also ensures that the caregiver can continue providing quality care for their loved one in the long run. Two or three hours will help.

Additionally, emotional support is invaluable for primary family caregivers. The challenges and stresses of caregiving can often feel overwhelming. Having someone to talk to, share concerns with, and lean on during difficult times can provide immense comfort and reassurance. Family and friends can offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or simply a comforting presence, reminding the caregiver that they are not alone in this journey. Let that be active listening and understanding with empathy. Do not tell them what to do or not to do, just listen. If you think the words. “should” or “I would” then keep your mouth shut.

Practical assistance from family and friends can significantly lighten the caregiver’s load. Whether it’s helping with household chores, running errands, or providing transportation, these small acts of kindness can make a world of difference. By sharing the responsibilities, family and friends can alleviate some of the physical strain on the primary caregiver, giving them more time to focus on their loved one’s care.

The involvement of family and friends in the caregiving process can strengthen the bond between them and the primary caregiver. It fosters a sense of unity and shared responsibility, creating a support network that can sustain the caregiver in their challenging role. It also allows others to gain a deeper understanding of the caregiver’s experiences and the needs of their loved one, fostering empathy and compassion within the family and friend circle.

4. Practical ways to support primary family caregivers

1. Offer respite care: Arrange to take over caregiving duties for a few hours or even a day to give the primary caregiver a much-needed break. This will allow them to recharge and take care of their own needs.

2. Provide meal assistance: Preparing meals can be time-consuming for caregivers. Offer to cook meals or organize a meal train where friends and family can take turns providing nutritious and homemade meals for the caregiver and their family.

3. Help with household tasks: Everyday tasks like cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping can become overwhelming for primary caregivers. Offer to help with these chores or hire professional services to lighten their load at the caree’s place or the carer’s place.

4. Be a good listener: Sometimes, caregivers simply need someone to talk to and share their feelings and frustrations. Be a supportive listener without judgment and provide a safe space for them to express their emotions.

5. Offer transportation assistance: Taking the care recipient to medical appointments or running errands can be time-consuming and exhausting. Offer to provide transportation whenever possible, relieving the caregiver of this responsibility.

6. Research resources: Take the initiative to research and gather information on support groups, respite care facilities, or other resources that may benefit the caregiver. Present them with options and assist in making necessary arrangements.

7. Show appreciation: Express your gratitude and appreciation for the caregiver’s selfless dedication. A simple thank you, a heartfelt note, or a small token of appreciation can go a long way in boosting their spirits and acknowledging their hard work.

a. Offering respite care

Being a primary family caregiver can be an overwhelming and demanding role. It requires constant attention, patience, and selflessness to care for a loved one who may be facing physical or mental health challenges. As much as primary family caregivers may be devoted to their role, it’s essential to recognize that they also need time to recharge and take care of their own well-being.

This is where offering respite care becomes crucial in supporting the unsung heroes of caregiving. Respite care involves providing temporary relief to primary family caregivers by taking over their responsibilities for a short period. It allows caregivers to take a much-needed break, attend to personal matters, or simply have some time for themselves. You may only have to sit with them or be there in case the caree needs a little help.

Respite care can be provided by other family members, friends, or even professional caregivers. It can take various forms depending on the needs and preferences of the caregiver and the care recipient. It could involve taking care of household chores, preparing meals, or providing direct care and supervision.


If you have a loved one who is a primary family caregiver, consider offering respite care as a gesture of support and appreciation. Talk to them about their needs and schedule, and find out how you can best assist them in taking some time off. Whether it’s a few hours a week or a weekend getaway, your contribution can provide much-needed relief and show your empathy towards their challenging role.

b. Assisting with daily tasks and errands

When it comes to supporting primary family caregivers, one of the most practical ways to lend a helping hand is by assisting with daily tasks and errands. Caregiving can be physically and emotionally demanding, leaving little time and energy for caregivers to take care of their own personal responsibilities.

Offering to run errands such as grocery shopping, picking up prescriptions, or dropping off dry cleaning can make a world of difference for a primary family caregiver. By taking on these tasks, you are not only lightening their load but also giving them precious time to rest and recharge.

Additionally, helping out with daily tasks around the house can provide much-needed relief to caregivers. Simple chores like cooking meals, doing laundry, or cleaning can quickly accumulate and become overwhelming for someone already juggling the responsibilities of caregiving.

By doing the tasks or errands that they tell you they need completed, you are not only providing practical assistance but also showing your loved one that they are not alone in this journey. It’s important to communicate with the primary family caregiver to understand their specific needs and preferences, as each caregiving situation is unique. Never assume or take control. Ask and offer.

Furthermore, consider offering to accompany the caregiver and their loved one to medical appointments or therapy sessions. This not only provides emotional support but also ensures that the caregiver has someone to share the responsibilities and provide a listening ear during these important appointments.

c. Providing emotional support and a listening ear

As a family member or friend, one of the most important things you can do is to lend a compassionate ear. Take the time to actively listen to the caregiver’s concerns, fears, and frustrations. Allow them to express their emotions without judgment or interruption. Sometimes, just having someone who is willing to listen and provide a safe space to vent can provide immense relief.

Additionally, offering emotional support is crucial. Show empathy and understanding towards the caregiver’s situation. Acknowledge their sacrifices, hard work, and dedication. Let them know that their efforts are seen and appreciated. Simple gestures, such as sending encouraging messages, offering a shoulder to cry on, or providing words of affirmation, can go a long way in boosting their spirits.

It’s also important to be mindful of their emotional well-being. Keep an eye out for signs of burnout or emotional exhaustion. Encourage them to take breaks, prioritize self-care, and seek help when needed. Remind them that it’s okay to ask for support and that they don’t have to face the challenges alone.

d. Educating oneself about the caregiver’s responsibilities

Educating oneself about the caregiver’s responsibilities is a pivotal step in providing meaningful support to primary family caregivers. Often, the demands and challenges faced by family caregivers go unnoticed or underestimated. By taking the time to understand the scope and depth of their responsibilities, friends and family members can offer more targeted assistance and empathetic support.

Caregiving involves a wide range of tasks and responsibilities, including personal care, medication management, meal preparation, transportation, and emotional support. Each caregiver’s role may differ depending on the specific needs of the individual receiving care. It is crucial for family and friends to familiarize themselves with these responsibilities to gain a deeper appreciation for the caregiver’s daily routine and the toll it can take on their physical and emotional well-being.

One way to educate oneself is by actively engaging in conversations with the primary family caregiver. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share their experiences, challenges, and concerns. Actively listen and validate their feelings, as this can create a safe space for them to express any frustrations or anxieties they may be experiencing. Additionally, there are numerous online resources, support groups, and educational materials available that provide valuable insights into the caregiver’s role and offer practical tips for providing assistance.

By educating oneself about the caregiver’s responsibilities, friends and family members can identify specific areas where they can lend a helping hand. This may involve offering respite care, assisting with household chores, running errands, or providing emotional support through regular check-ins or simply offering a listening ear. Understanding the caregiver’s routine and needs allows others to step in and provide meaningful support that lightens the caregiving load and ensures the primary caregiver feels understood and valued.

Remember, the journey of a primary family caregiver can be arduous and overwhelming at times. By educating oneself and actively seeking ways to support these unsung heroes, we can make a significant impact in their lives and contribute to their overall well-being. Together, we can create a network of support that recognizes and honors the invaluable role they play in the lives of their loved ones.

e. Encouraging self-care for the caregiver

Taking care of a loved one can be an incredibly rewarding experience, but it can also be physically and emotionally draining. As a primary family caregiver, it’s easy to become so focused on meeting the needs of your loved one that you neglect your own well-being. However, it’s important to remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. In order to provide the best care possible, you must prioritize self-care.

Encouraging self-care for the caregiver is a vital aspect of supporting the unsung heroes who dedicate their time and energy to caring for their loved ones. While it may feel selfish or indulgent to prioritize your own needs, it is essential for your overall health and ability to continue providing care.

One way to encourage self-care is to remind the caregiver to take breaks. Sit with their loved one while they take a break. It’s easy to get caught up in the constant demands of caregiving, but setting aside regular intervals of time to recharge and rejuvenate is crucial. This could involve engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation, such as reading a book, going for a walk, practicing yoga, or spending time with friends.

Additionally, offering practical support can greatly contribute to the caregiver’s well-being. Family and friends can step in to provide respite care, allowing the primary caregiver to take some time off and focus on their own needs. This could involve taking over caregiving duties for a few hours, a day, or even a weekend. It not only gives the caregiver a much-needed break, but also provides an opportunity for them to engage in self-care activities without worrying about their loved one’s well-being.

Emotional support is equally important. Caregiving can be emotionally challenging, and having a strong support network can make a world of difference. Friends and family can lend a listening ear, offer words of encouragement, or simply be a source of comfort during difficult times. They can also help the caregiver find support groups or counseling services that specialize in caregiving-related issues.

By encouraging self-care for the caregiver, we are not only helping them maintain their own well-being, but we are also ensuring that they can continue being a pillar of support for their loved one. Remember, caring for yourself is not selfish; it is an essential part of being a compassionate and effective caregiver.

5. Communication tips for family and friends

When it comes to supporting primary family caregivers, effective communication plays a crucial role. Oftentimes, family and friends want to help but may not know how to best offer their support. By following these communication tips, you can ensure that your assistance is both helpful and appreciated.

1. Express your willingness to help: Reach out to the primary family caregiver and let them know that you are available and willing to provide support. This simple gesture can make a world of difference, as it shows that you genuinely care about their well-being and are ready to lend a hand. Tell them what you can and will do.

2. Listen actively: When engaging in conversations with the primary family caregiver, practice active listening. Allow them to express their feelings, concerns, and challenges without interruption. Show empathy and validate their emotions, as this can provide a much-needed outlet for them to share their experiences.

3. Ask specific questions: Instead of offering generic statements like “Let me know if you need anything,” ask specific questions about areas where you can help. For instance, you can ask if they need assistance with grocery shopping, meal preparation, or running errands. By being specific, you make it easier for them to accept your support.

4. Respect their boundaries: Understand that caregivers may have limitations and boundaries. They may feel overwhelmed or hesitant to accept help due to a sense of duty or pride. Be respectful of their decisions and do not push them to accept assistance if they are not comfortable. Instead, continue to express your support and let them know that you are available whenever they need you or give them your times of availability/

5. Coordinate and communicate with others: If multiple family members or friends want to contribute to the caregiving efforts, it is crucial to coordinate and communicate with each other. This prevents duplication of tasks or overwhelming the primary caregiver. Use group chats, shared calendars, or regular check-ins to ensure everyone is on the same page and working together effectively.

6. Be reliable and consistent: If you commit to providing assistance, it is important to follow through on your commitments. Be reliable and consistent in your support, as this will build trust and confidence with the primary family caregiver. Avoid making promises you cannot keep and always communicate any changes or conflicts in advance.

a. Open and honest conversations about needs and limitations

When it comes to supporting primary family caregivers, one of the most important aspects is to have open and honest conversations about their needs and limitations. Caregiving can be physically and emotionally demanding, and it’s crucial to create a safe space where caregivers can express their concerns and ask for help without feeling judged or overwhelmed.

Initiating these conversations can be as simple as sitting down with the caregiver, away from distractions, and asking questions like, “How are you feeling?” or “What do you need assistance with?” This allows them to share their thoughts, feelings, and challenges they may be facing in their caregiving role.

During these discussions, it’s essential to actively listen and validate their experiences. Caregivers often put their own needs on hold, so acknowledging their struggles and offering emotional support can make a significant difference. Encourage them to be honest about their limitations and reassure them that it’s okay to ask for help.

Additionally, as a family member or friend, it’s essential to be receptive to their requests and suggestions. Respect their boundaries and understand that they may have specific preferences or limitations regarding the type and level of assistance they are comfortable receiving. Remember, the goal is to support them in a way that suits their unique circumstances.

By fostering open and honest conversations, you create an environment that promotes understanding, empathy, and effective support for primary family caregivers. It allows them to feel heard, validated, and more likely to ask for help when needed, ensuring they receive the assistance they require to continue providing dedicated care to their loved ones.

b. Setting realistic expectations

When it comes to supporting primary family caregivers, one of the most crucial aspects is setting realistic expectations. Oftentimes, family and friends may not fully grasp the challenges and responsibilities that come with being a primary caregiver. They may have unrealistic expectations about the caregiver’s availability, ability to handle all tasks, and the impact caregiving can have on their own personal lives.

To avoid frustration and misunderstandings, it is essential for everyone involved to have open and honest conversations about what can realistically be expected from the primary caregiver. This includes discussing the caregiver’s availability, limitations, and the level of support they may need from others.

Setting realistic expectations also means recognizing that caregivers are not superheroes. They have their own physical, emotional, and mental limitations. It is crucial to understand that they may need breaks, time for self-care, and support from others to prevent burnout.

Encouraging family and friends to empathize and put themselves in the caregiver’s shoes can help in setting realistic expectations. It is important for them to understand the day-to-day challenges faced by the caregiver and the impact it has on their overall well-being.

By setting realistic expectations, primary family caregivers can feel supported and not overwhelmed by the pressure to meet unrealistic demands. This enables them to provide better care for their loved ones while also taking care of their own health and needs. Ultimately, it is through understanding, empathy, and realistic expectations that family and friends can truly assist and support the unsung heroes of caregiving.

c. Active listening and empathy

Active listening and empathy are crucial skills that family and friends can employ to support primary family caregivers. Caregiving can be an emotionally and physically demanding role, and often, caregivers may feel overwhelmed, stressed, or isolated. By actively listening and showing empathy, loved ones can provide a much-needed source of support and comfort.

Active listening involves giving one’s full attention to the caregiver, without interrupting or judgment. It is about being present in the moment and fully focusing on what the caregiver is expressing. This means putting aside distractions, such as phones or other tasks, and truly engaging in the conversation. By doing so, family and friends demonstrate their commitment to understanding the caregiver’s experiences and challenges.

In addition to active listening, empathy plays a vital role in supporting primary family caregivers. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the emotions of another person. It allows loved ones to connect with caregivers on a deeper level, as they can genuinely comprehend and relate to their feelings and experiences. When caregivers feel understood and validated, it can alleviate some of the emotional burdens they may be carrying.

Practicing active listening and empathy involves more than just offering a sympathetic ear. It requires expressing genuine concern, validating the caregiver’s emotions, and offering words of encouragement and support. It may also involve providing practical assistance, such as offering to help with household chores or providing respite care to give the caregiver a much-needed break.

By actively listening and showing empathy, family and friends can create a safe and supportive space for primary family caregivers. This can strengthen the caregiver’s well-being, reduce feelings of isolation, and ultimately, enable them to provide the best care possible for their loved ones. Supporting the unsung heroes of caregiving is a collective effort that starts with lending an empathetic ear and being there for them every step of the way.

d. Being understanding and patient

Being understanding and patient is crucial when it comes to supporting primary family caregivers. Taking on the role of a caregiver can be overwhelming, both physically and emotionally. Primary family caregivers may experience moments of exhaustion, frustration, and even burnout as they navigate the challenges of caring for a loved one.

One of the best ways to support caregivers is by being understanding of their needs and the difficulties they may face. It’s important to recognize that caregivers may have to prioritize the needs of their loved ones over their own, which can lead to feelings of guilt or inadequacy. By offering a listening ear and a non-judgmental attitude, family and friends can create a safe space for caregivers to express their emotions and concerns without fear of being criticized or misunderstood.

Patience is another key virtue when supporting primary family caregivers. Caregiving is a demanding and often unpredictable role, and caregivers may need to adapt to new challenges and situations on a daily basis. It’s essential for family and friends to understand that caregivers may not always be available or able to engage in social activities or commitments as they once did. By being patient and flexible, we can provide caregivers with the time and space they need to fulfill their caregiving responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed or pressured.

Additionally, being understanding and patient also involves offering practical assistance when needed. Whether it’s helping with household chores, running errands, or providing respite care, these small acts of support can make a significant difference in the lives of caregivers. By lightening their load, we can alleviate some of the stress and burden they may be experiencing.

6. Additional resources and support for primary family caregivers

Primary family caregivers play a crucial role in providing care and support to their loved ones. However, the responsibilities and challenges they face can often be overwhelming. It is essential for family and friends to recognize the importance of their role in supporting these caregivers or care partners.

One of the most valuable ways to assist primary family caregivers is by providing additional resources. This can include researching and sharing information about local support groups, respite care services, and community organizations that offer assistance to caregivers. These resources can help alleviate some of the burdens and provide much-needed relief for the caregiver. If you do this research then get good information and see if they qualify before you give the caregiver the information.

Financial support is another area where family and friends can make a significant impact. Assisting with financial expenses related to caregiving, such as medical bills, home modifications, or specialized equipment, can ease the financial strain on the primary caregiver. Offering to contribute or organize fundraisers can also provide a sense of relief and support. Gift cards for restaurants, delivery services, groceries, and even gas are appreciated and helpful.

Emotional support is equally important. Caregiving can be emotionally draining, and primary family caregivers often experience feelings of isolation and exhaustion. Family and friends can lend a listening ear, offer words of encouragement, or simply spend quality time with the caregiver to provide a much-needed break from the demands of their role. Engaging in activities that the caregiver enjoys or planning outings can help reduce stress and improve their overall well-being.

Additionally, offering to help with practical tasks such as grocery shopping, meal preparation, or running errands can make a significant difference in the daily life of a primary family caregiver. These seemingly small acts of kindness can provide much-needed relief and allow the caregiver to focus on their own self-care and well-being.

a. Local support groups and organizations

When it comes to supporting primary family caregivers, local support groups and organizations can be a lifeline. These groups provide a safe and understanding environment where caregivers can connect with others who are going through similar experiences. Whether caring for an aging parent, a child with special needs, or a loved one with a chronic illness, these groups offer a sense of community and a wealth of resources.

Support groups can be found through various channels, such as community centers, hospitals, or online platforms. They often organize regular meetings, where caregivers can share their challenges, exchange advice, and offer emotional support. These gatherings provide a unique opportunity for caregivers to find solace in knowing that they are not alone in their journey.

In addition to emotional support, local organizations dedicated to caregiving also offer practical assistance. They may provide educational workshops and training sessions to help caregivers develop essential skills and knowledge. These workshops can cover topics like managing medication, preventing caregiver burnout, and navigating the healthcare system.

Local support groups and organizations can connect caregivers with valuable community resources. They can provide information about respite care services, financial assistance programs, and local home care providers. By tapping into these resources, primary family caregivers can receive much-needed respite and relief, allowing them to recharge and take care of their own well-being.

b. Online communities and forums

Online communities and forums can be invaluable resources for primary family caregivers. These digital platforms provide a space for individuals in similar caregiving situations to connect, share experiences, and offer support to one another.
One of the benefits of online communities is the ability to connect with people from all over the world who are going through similar challenges. Whether you are caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s, a child with special needs, or a spouse with a chronic illness, there are online communities and forums dedicated to these specific caregiving situations.
These platforms allow primary family caregivers to ask questions, seek advice, and find comfort in knowing that they are not alone in their struggles. The sense of community that arises from these online interactions can be incredibly empowering and can provide a much-needed emotional support system.
Moreover, online communities and forums are also a great place to find practical tips and resources. Caregivers can share information about local support services, medical professionals, and strategies for managing specific caregiving tasks. These platforms often become a hub of knowledge and experience, where caregivers can learn from one another and discover new approaches to their caregiving responsibilities.
It’s important to note that while online communities and forums can be extremely beneficial, it’s crucial to exercise caution and verify the credibility of the information shared. Always consult with healthcare professionals or trusted sources when it comes to medical advice or critical decisions regarding your loved one’s care.
By actively participating in these online communities, primary family caregivers can find solace, gain knowledge, and develop a network of supportive individuals who truly understand the challenges they face. Together, caregivers can navigate the complexities of caregiving and provide each other with the strength and encouragement needed to continue supporting their loved ones.

c. Professional caregiver assistance

When it comes to supporting primary family caregivers, seeking professional caregiver assistance can be a game-changer. Professional caregivers are trained individuals who specialize in providing care and support to those in need, including elderly or disabled family members. Their expertise and experience can greatly alleviate the burden on primary family caregivers, allowing them to take breaks, focus on their own well-being, and maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Professional caregivers can offer a wide range of services tailored to the unique needs of the care recipient. From assisting with personal care tasks such as bathing and dressing to providing medication reminders and managing medical appointments, their support can be invaluable in ensuring the well-being and safety of the individual in their care. Additionally, they can offer respite care, stepping in for short periods to give primary family caregivers much-needed time off to recharge and take care of other responsibilities.

One of the key benefits of professional caregiver assistance is their specialized training and knowledge. They are equipped to handle various health conditions, understanding the specific care requirements and potential challenges that may arise. This expertise provides peace of mind to primary family caregivers, knowing that their loved ones are in capable hands.

Moreover, professional caregivers can offer emotional support to both the care recipient and the primary family caregiver. They can provide companionship, engage in meaningful conversations, and create a positive and nurturing environment for the care recipient. This can greatly enhance the overall well-being and quality of life for all involved.

It’s important to note that seeking professional caregiver assistance does not diminish the importance or role of the primary family caregiver. Rather, it serves as a means of support and collaboration, allowing them to share the caregiving responsibilities and alleviate some of the overwhelming demands they may face.

Incorporating professional caregiver assistance can be a transformative step in supporting primary family caregivers. The knowledge, skills, and support provided by professional caregivers can enhance the care recipient’s well-being and allow primary family caregivers to maintain their own physical and emotional health. By recognizing the significance of professional caregiver assistance, we can truly uplift and empower the unsung heroes of family caregiving.

7. The positive impact of supporting primary family caregivers

Supporting primary family caregivers can have a profound and positive impact on their well-being and the well-being of the individuals they care for. Being a primary family caregiver is a demanding and often overwhelming role, and the support and assistance of loved ones can make a world of difference.


The emotional support provided by family and friends can be invaluable. Caregiving can be emotionally draining, and caregivers often experience feelings of stress, guilt, and isolation. Having a strong support network that understands and empathizes with their challenges can provide much-needed comfort and reassurance. Simply knowing that they are not alone in their journey can help caregivers maintain a positive mindset and cope better with the demands of their role.

In addition to emotional support, practical assistance is equally important. Primary family caregivers often find themselves juggling multiple responsibilities, such as managing medications, attending medical appointments, and handling household chores. Family and friends can step in by offering to take on some of these tasks, providing much-needed respite for the caregiver. This can help prevent burnout and allow caregivers to take care of themselves, which is crucial for their overall well-being.

Moreover, the involvement of family and friends can enhance the quality of care provided to the individual in need. With multiple caregivers, there is an opportunity for collaboration and sharing of responsibilities, ensuring that the care is comprehensive and well-rounded. Different family members may bring unique skills or expertise to the table, further enriching the caregiving experience and improving outcomes for the recipient of care.

Lastly, supporting primary family caregivers can strengthen familial bonds and relationships. By actively participating in caregiving, family and friends not only show their love and commitment but also create opportunities for shared experiences and meaningful connections. These shared experiences can foster a sense of togetherness and solidarity, making the caregiving journey more manageable and fulfilling for everyone involved.

You wake up early every day to care for your spouse. They have been battling (Cancer, Alzheimer; ‘s, Parkinson’s, Multiple Sclerosis, COPD, etc.) for a couple of years or more, and you are their primary caregiver or care partner. You have always been there for them. Make sure that they take their medications, eat, shower/bathe, get dressed, and take them to doctor appointments. 

Lately, you have been feeling more tired than usual. You have been experiencing headaches, lower backaches and just feeling blah. You seem to be coughing more, but you think that you have a cold or your allergies are acting up. You keep going on with your day, ignoring what you are feeling. You keep hoping that all of these symptoms will go away, but they don’t. In fact, they are worsening. 

One day you are taking your spouse to the doctor and collapse in the waiting room. You are rushed to the hospital, where you are diagnosed with pneumonia and severe exhaustion. You are admitted. What has become of your care-receiving spouse? Where are they? Who is with them? Who is helping them? 

You are now forced to take a break and focus on your own health. After three days, you are released but you are still not completely healed. You are still exhausted and still have pneumonia. What will you do now? Will you take the time to rest your body and let it fully heal or will you jump right back into being the primary care giver and probably take another health hit? 

When the care giver has a health crisis the care receiver still has to be taken care of and they may have to be placed in a facility for a while or hired help will come into the home to help or other family members may help out. The care receiver may start declining more quickly. The decline may be physical, emotional, mental or all three. Cognitive decline and disorientation are real issues that may happen as well. 

If you want to provide the best possible care to your loved one, then you must prioritize your own health needs. When you neglect your own healthcare needs, you are doing your care receiver a disservice. Neglecting your own health needs can impact your ability to make good decisions and provide effective care. When you don’t feel well, you are more likely to be more irritable, more impatient, and less attentive to your care receiver’s needs. 

Understanding Family Caregiving

Being a family caregiver can be a rewarding experience, but it can also come with many challenges and health risks. Family caregivers provide unpaid care to a loved one who is unable to care for themselves due to illness, disability, or aging.

Family caregiving can be a full-time job, and it can be physically and emotionally demanding. Caregivers often find themselves juggling multiple responsibilities, such as managing medications, providing personal care, and coordinating medical appointments. This can lead to stress, exhaustion, and burnout.

In addition to the demands of caregiving, family caregivers may also be at risk for health problems. Caregiving can be a source of chronic stress, which can weaken the immune system and increase the risk of chronic diseases. Caregivers may also be at risk for depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

It’s important for caregivers to prioritize their own health and well-being. This includes taking breaks when needed, seeking support from family and friends, and accessing community resources. Caregivers should also make time for self-care activities, such as exercise, hobbies, and relaxation.

If you are a family caregiver, it’s important to recognize the challenges and risks of caregiving and take steps to protect your own health and well-being. By taking care of yourself, you can better care for your loved one and enjoy the rewards of caregiving.

Physical Health Risks of Family Caregiving

Increased Risk of Chronic Conditions

As a spouse caregiver, you may be at an increased risk of developing chronic conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and arthritis. This is because caregiving can be physically demanding and stressful, which can lead to poor health behaviors such as lack of exercise, poor diet, and inadequate sleep. Caregivers may neglect their health needs to care for their loved ones.

Weakened Immune System

Caregiving can also weaken your immune system, making you more susceptible to infections and illnesses. This is because stress can suppress your immune system, making it harder for your body to fight off infections. Additionally, caregivers may be exposed to infectious diseases through their care duties.

Physical Exhaustion

Caregiving can be physically exhausting, especially if you are caring for someone who is bedridden or has mobility issues. This can lead to fatigue, muscle strain, and other physical health problems.  Caregivers may neglect their own self-care needs, such as getting enough rest and exercise, which can exacerbate physical exhaustion.

To lessen these physical health risks, it is important for care givers or care partners to take care of themselves. This includes eating a healthy diet, getting enough exercise and sleep, and seeking support from others. It is also important for caregivers to take breaks when needed and to ask for help when necessary. By taking care of your own physical health, you can better care for your loved one.

Mental Health Risks of Family Caregiving

Depression and Anxiety

It’s common for spousecaregivers to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety. According to the American Psychological Association, caregivers are more likely to have depression and anxiety than non-caregivers. This can be due to the stress of caregiving, lack of social support, and the feeling of being overwhelmed and isolated. 

Increased Stress Levels

Family caregivers often experience high levels of stress due to the demands of caregiving. This can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, and muscle tension. Chronic stress can also lead to long-term health problems such as heart disease and diabetes.

Emotional Burnout

Emotional burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. It’s common for family caregivers to experience emotional burnout due to the demands of caregiving. Symptoms of emotional burnout include feeling overwhelmed, irritable, and emotionally drained. I definitely do not want you to get to this stage. 

To prevent mental health risks, it’s important for caregivers to take care of themselves. This can include seeking support from friends and family, taking breaks from caregiving, and seeking professional help if needed. Remember, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your loved one. Self-care is not selfish, it is necessary. 

Social Health Risks of Family Caregiving

Social Isolation

As a spouse caregiver, you may find yourself spending most of your time caring for your loved one and neglecting your own social life. This can lead to social isolation, which is associated with negative health outcomes such as depression, anxiety, and cognitive decline.

To combat social isolation, it is important to make time for yourself and maintain social connections. This can be as simple as scheduling regular phone calls or visits with friends and family, joining a support group for caregivers, or participating in activities you enjoy.

Relationship Strains

Family caregiving can also strain relationships with other family members and friends. This is especially true if there are disagreements about the best way to care for your loved one or if some family members are not contributing to the caregiving responsibilities. Everyone’s family relationships put the “fun” in dysfunction. We all deal with this crap. 

To prevent relationship strains, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with family members about your caregiving responsibilities and needs. Set boundaries and delegate tasks to other family members to ensure that you are not shouldering the entire burden of caregiving alone. Consider seeking the help of a mediator or therapist if disagreements continue to arise.

Financial Health Risks of Family Caregiving

Being a family caregiver can have a significant impact on your financial health. In this section, we will discuss the two main financial health risks associated with family caregiving: loss of income and increased expenses.

Loss of Income

As a family caregiver, you may need to reduce your work hours or quit your job altogether to provide care for your loved one. This can result in a significant loss of income, which can be particularly challenging if you are the primary breadwinner in your household.

According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, family caregivers who must reduce work hours, exit the labor force, and forego income and benefits can experience significant reductions in available financial resources. This loss of income can have long-term financial consequences, including reduced retirement savings and Social Security benefits.

Increased Expenses

Providing care for a loved one can also result in increased expenses. You may need to purchase medical supplies, pay for transportation to medical appointments, or hire a home health aide to provide additional care. These expenses can quickly add up and put a strain on your finances.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that caregivers can be at increased risk for negative health consequences due to the financial stress associated with caregiving. It is important to carefully track your expenses and explore options for financial assistance, such as government programs or community resources.

Prevention and Relief Strategies

Self-Care Practices

Taking care of yourself is ESSENTIAL to being a good caregiver. Here are some self-care practices you can use to reduce stress and promote your own well-being:

• Exercise regularly: Exercise can help reduce stress and improve your mood. Try to get at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.
• Eat a healthy diet: Eating a balanced diet can help you maintain your energy levels and promote your overall health.
• Get enough sleep: Getting enough sleep is essential to your physical and emotional health. Try to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
• Take breaks: Taking regular breaks can help you recharge and prevent burnout. Try to take short breaks throughout the day and plan for longer breaks when possible.
• Practice relaxation techniques: Relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.

Support Networks

Having a support network can help you manage the challenges of caregiving. Here are some ways to build and maintain a support network:

• Join a support group: Joining a support group can help you connect with other caregivers who understand what you’re going through.
• Reach out to family and friends: Family and friends can provide emotional support and practical assistance.
• Consider respite care: Respite care can provide you with a break from caregiving responsibilities and give you time to recharge.

Professional Help

Sometimes, professional help may be necessary to manage the health risks associated with caregiving. Here are some resources you can turn to for help:

• Talk to a healthcare provider: Your healthcare provider can provide guidance on managing your own health and well-being.
• Seek counseling: Counseling can provide emotional support and help you develop coping strategies.
• Consider hiring a professional caregiver: Hiring a professional caregiver can provide you with additional support and allow you to take a break from caregiving responsibilities.

By taking steps to prevent and lessen the health risks associated with caregiving, you can take care of yourself and provide better care for your loved one.

Conclusion

Being a family caregiver can be a rewarding experience, but it can also be a challenging one. As you have learned, there are several health risks associated with being a caregiver. These risks can affect your physical, mental, and emotional health.

It is important to recognize these risks and take steps to lessen them. This may include seeking support from other family members or friends, joining a caregiver support group, or seeking professional help from a therapist.

Remember, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your loved one. By prioritizing your own health and well-being, you can ensure that you are able to provide the best possible care for your loved one.

Below is a summary of the main health risks associated with being a family caregiver:

By being aware of these risks and taking steps to reduce them, you can ensure that you are able to provide the best possible care for your loved one while also taking care of yourself.

Because you aren’t sure what to buy, what to cook or what chores to do. You haven’t let yourself relax enough to think.

Believe it or not, some people like doing errands and chores. For them, it is like getting on top of things. They like to be organized and prepared. Some of these organized and prepared people are also control freaks. I said, some of them. Let’s take a look at why other folks hate running errands. The chores thing is called adulting.

August 24, 2022

Chores contribute to caregiver burnout

Let’s knock out chores first. I don’t personally know anyone that likes doing chores. I like the end result of a clean house and well-kept yard, but I don’t like to do them. That being said, I don’t hate doing them either. It is more of a matter of fact. The house needs to be cleaned, the yard needs to be mowed, the laundry needs to be done, the bills have to be paid, the car has to have an oil change, dinner has to be made and the dishes cleaned, etc. If you have to do it anyway, then do a great job. Be proud of your work.

I have heard about folks that will do a half-assed job, so they don’t have to do it again. I say, make them do it again and again until they get it right. They will learn to do it correctly the first time or they can keep doing it until they get it right. They will learn that doing it right the first time is easier and quicker. If you have children, remember when they tried to half-ass clean? Hopefully, you made them keep doing it until they got it right. After they had to do it three times before they could go play, they learned to do it right the first time.

Everyone, just do your chores! Take pride in the end result. Then, go out and play or enjoy the rest of your day. Check your attitude because little ones (and big ones) are watching you. Teamwork makes the dream work.

Men’s and Women’s Brains ARE Wired Differently

Men’s brains are wired differently than women’s brains. Women can multitask and men do one thing at a time. Men compartmentalize into boxes and nothing spills over into the boxes. Don’t ask a male child 3 questions. You will only get 1 answer. Men are task-oriented (one task at a time). Women can plan a list of things to do, put it in route order, and get it done while planning dinner. I asked my youngest son what he was thinking one day. Guess what he said? “Nothing.” Now, I cannot believe this. I am thinking “stuff” all of the time. However, I saw a scientist explain this very thing. At first, I called bullshit, but then did some research. Turns out males can think about “nothing.” Females cannot think about “nothing.” Everything is connected (somehow) to everything in a female’s brain. Women tend to “care” and men tend to “not care.”

The above paragraph is in general. We all have male and female tendencies. The goal for us is to realize the deficits that we have and improve on them. Women can focus on the one task before them and only that. Men can learn to think ahead, make lists and plan dinner.

What a man will do, for example

If you ask a man to watch the kids, that is all he will do. He will do nothing, except watch the kids. When a woman watches the kids, she does the laundry, cleans the kitchen, and does a quick pick-up. If you want a man to do the little things, you have to give him a list, in the order that you want it done, and place the word “Tasks” on top of the list. Be specific and time-oriented or you will get “I’ll handle it. Or I’ll get to it.” It will then be on their timetable and not yours.

This article has taken a turn that I had not intended, but here we are.

Nothing is 100%, there are a few men that can multi-task and there are a few women that compartmentalize. Learn how to communicate with your significant other, they do not think like you. Assuming gets everyone into trouble. If you think or say, “why can’t he…” or “why can’t she…” then you are not communicating effectively.

I saw these things on Parenting. See if you can relate in your role as a caregiver

• • Women see the big picture.

• • Men have tunnel vision.

• • Women tend to talk more than men.

• • Men tend to condense their feelings and say a few words.

• • Women revisit memories more and tend to ruminate more.

• • Men tend to think about issues briefly, analyze quickly and move on to something unrelated.

• • Women can identify emotions quicker and are more tuned in to emotions.

• • Men tend to rely on facts and logic.

• • Women are more empathetic and tend to brood.

• • Men tend to turn to problem-solving mode.

• • Women have better memory power than men.

• • Men don’t pay a lot of attention to details (other than sports crap). Men have to make an effort to remember.

• • Women need a combination of things to get aroused.

• • Men need visuals to get aroused.

• • Women are better at learning languages.

• • Men are better with numbers (sports crap, again).

Manage your time better to help decrease caregiver stress

Managing your time better may help you to hate running errands and chores a lot less. Don’t jam-pack your schedule. Allow for “what-if time”. Find what works best for you. It may be a pick one day of the week to do the errands. It may be that you pick one room a day to clean. What if you could use errand day to reconnect with someone? Have someone go with you, a kid, a friend, or even your spouse. Be grateful that you can run errands. Not everyone has the money to run errands. Not everyone can physically go and do the errands.

Maybe, don’t do chores on the weekend?

If you feel like your Saturday is another complete workday, maybe you would be better off doing a little during the week. Don’t make yourself miserable. Prioritize and focus. Stop wasting your mental energy. Batch the things that can be batched. Delegate what can be delegated. Be flexible.

When you hate doing a particular chore

Couples fight about chores and cleaning almost as much as they fight about what to do with money. Destress your house. Never assume who will do what at the house. Talk it out and decide who will do what and how often. Develop a partnership in running the household. If you both hate and I mean hate,  not dislike a chore then you have to alternate it. Switch it up occasionally, to make sure it is still fair. Reevaluate and change when needed. If you have kids, teach them early and make sure they do a good job. Teamwork makes the dream work. More free time, coming up.

Pat

Caregivers: How to manage multiple appointments

Sometimes, we are so stressed that we give up more of our power than we need to around scheduling. Sometimes, we are thrust in to a role without our prior permission. Other times, it is assumed that we will do X,Y or Z at A, B and C time and there is no way that we can make that work with our schedule. Talk about stress levels rising.

August 17, 2022

Get Legal Stuff in order for Caregiver

Before you are thrust in a role, have the tough conversations. Discuss who will be POA (power of attorney) for healthcare and for financial matters. It may or may not be the same person. It is much better to have these tough conversations with everyone who is to be involved, present at the meeting. No excuses, be there in-person, via telephone call or a Zoom meeting. Family caregiver supporters need this information.

Decide who will be the point person or the one with the overall knowledge of what is going on and what will need to happen. Next, we need volunteers to take loved one(s) to doctor appointments, therapy appointments, pharmacy pick-ups, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, barbershop appointments and hair dresser appointments.

Which family caregiver will do certain appts or emergency appts?

During an unexpected crisis or emergency, whoever is available or can take off, will have to step up and handle the appointment. Any time there is to be an initial appointment, you will probably have to take what you can get. After that, you can set the appointment day and time that works best for the patient and the companion or the driver. Decide what days and time are best for you to help your loved one. Maybe, you have one or two days during the week that are easier for you to take off work, come in late or leave early. Treatment Tuesdays, Wednesday Errands, Hair Thursdays, or Manic Mondays (get everything done on this day) are some examples. Caregiver support = helping caregivers with the care recipient.

Have a day for appointments and try for first appt.

Get the first appointment of the day, the appointment right after doctor’s lunch or the last appointment of the day. These are the most on-time appointments. Overall, most doctors are scheduling better and wait times are in the 20-minute range, if there is a wait time. Yes, your time is valuable and as you respect the doctor’s time by getting there 15 minutes early to check-in and update your information, if needed, your time needs to be respected as well.

I hear your voices in my head. The, “I had to wait 45 minutes passed the appointment time.” I get it , I have done it before too. I no longer do that. I give them 15 minutes and then I am back up at registration, checking out the situation. Oftentimes, you get back to a room at your scheduled time and then you have to wait for the doctor to come in. There is no easy solution with this type of situation. It could have been that two or three previous patients needed more time than what they were scheduled for. It could have been that the doctor got interrupted by an insurance company call. Before you get all pissed, give them the benefit of the doubt. There may come a time when you need more time with them and someone else will have to wait. You need a care team to provide care for your loved one. 

Be prepared for your appointment

My appointments go smoothly because I am prepared. I get there 10 minutes early and check-in with insurance card and ID. Sign or fill out paperwork, if needed and I am ready to go. The assistant comes out and does the preliminary stuff. Takes down the notes for today’s visit and then I wait for my doctor. When he comes in, I have my list of medications out and ready. I have a list of meds that needs to be refilled ready to hand him. At the bottom of my list, are the  3 things that I want to talk about or have checked. If I am sick, I write down my symptoms in bullet points, how long it has been going on and what I have done or tried at home.

By the time he has read this, we are ready to discuss treatment options or next steps. He may have a few questions that need to be answered. I answer, he checks out what needs to be checked out, orders what lab tests needed and electronically sends off prescriptions to be filled at my pharmacy. We discuss whether a follow-up is needed and I am out the door.

Want respect? Give respect.

It is great to like your doctor and I hope that you do. Any good relationship is a mix of give and take. Do you want more respect, attention and help from your doctor? Then be prepared for your visit. They no longer have the time to shoot the breeze, they just don’t. I believe that they want to do a good job and help you. Remember, this is a business relationship. The business is your personal health. It is important and we all need a doctor that we can work with for our best quality of life.

On your sheet of paper list, the following:

• • Name

• • Date of birth

• • Current Medications, Why taking, Who prescribed it?

• • Current over-the-counter (OTC) medications, herbal supplements, vitamins, etc.

• • Chief complaint – what brought you to the doctor today?

• • Signs & Symptoms you are having

• • How long has this been going on?

• • What have you tried or taken to help?

• • What refills you need?

If you think your medications are not working or helping, state that and why you think that.

If you are having problems or unbearable side effects of your medications, tell your doctor.

If you haven’t been taking your medications, tell your doctor. What is the reason? Be honest.

Write out your questions

Write out your questions. I know that you think that you will remember, but you won’t. You will talk about everything else and then your appointment time will be over.

Stay focused on why you are there for that visit. There is such a thing as an extended visit, and maybe you need to ask for one of those for next time. If you have your all of your information and questions written down and ready, you may be surprised that you do have time left over.

Doctors like bullet points or statements of facts. Save the story for later, if you have time. Find out how the doctors like to be contacted. Email, leave a message, make an appointment, etc.

When mistakes happen

Mistakes happen. Things get dropped or missed. Yes, it is frustrating and sometimes maddening. Take a chill pill, your amygdala just hijacked your emotions. Breathe and let the cortisol dump dissipate a little before you make phone calls and yell. Whatever has been dropped or missed has been dropped or missed. Move to next steps and when. Never ever assume that the doctor’s office will call you about test results. You make the call and leave a message that you are waiting on results and have not received them yet. Sometimes, you may be told that the office will call you, if anything is wrong. They may mean to, but crap happens. It is your health so you be responsible for calling them.

Have you ever sent an email to someone and waited on a reply. But, you got no reply and now it is a week later. You are mad or disappointed. You either write another email or forget the whole thing. Guess what? They may have never received your first email. It may be in their Spam folder or something screwy may have happened and they did not get it at all. Give them a call and ask.

Don’t assume your texts are going through either. Follow-up with a call. Strange things happen all the time.

Set and keep your follow-up appointments. If you are dealing with chronic health conditions, you may have multiple doctors and will need regular check-ups. Usually, 3 or 4 times a year. These follow-ups are not punishments. They are to keep you healthy and on track to have the best quality of life possible. For follow-ups, you pick your days and time. Maybe Tuesdays are best for doctor appointments. Tell the scheduler, what day you want and what time will work for you and they can search for openings.

See your dentist twice a year too. It isn’t just about your teeth and gums; it is also about heart health. If you have a fear, they have gas.

Get better at describing how you feel and what is going on with you.

Be specific in your descriptions

Focus on how your life is being affected by what is going on. Be specific. Don’t say, I get tired easily. Tell what you are specifically doing. For example, I am having trouble drying my hair with a blow dryer, I feel weak and tired. My back hurts, here (point it out) and describe the pain (achy with movement, dull pain all the time, sharp pain when I do this.) and what makes it feel better and what makes it worse.

Which of the following would be better information? My right knee hurts. OR …My right knee feels like it is giving out and it aches in the evening. In your mind, you know that your knee hurts and you know what you have done and tried. You also know what has worked and what has not worked. You are also concerned that it will give away and you may fall. Your doctor does not know all of this and they cannot read your mind. You have the clues that they need to help make an accurate diagnosis or treatment plan. Maybe, you are having trouble climbing stairs or going down stairs. Describe the trouble and how your knee feels.

Use a metaphor or simile  to describe what is going on. Be descriptive.

• • My legs feel like I am carrying 20-pound weights on each leg as I walk.

• • My stomach is in knots.

• • This pain feels like I am being stabbed.

• • I have jackhammers in my head.

• • My neck feels like rocks grinding together with bits and pieces chipping off.

• • I am itching so badly, that I wish I could dig my fingernails in and  pull out the affected area.

• • I feel like barbed wire is wrapped around my foot.

• • My headache is on one side and it is continuous with occasional lightning bolt zaps.

• • My stomach feels empty and gnawing about an hour after I eat.

Rarely, but it does happen, you have to say… “ I am not right. This is what I have observed and felt.” You may not have any concrete signs or symptoms, but you know that your body is not right. Be observant about your body and how it feels, be observant about your thoughts and what you are thinking.

Things to help you write out your notes for your appointment:

Questions to ask yourself about your symptoms:

• • What exactly are my symptoms?

• • Are the symptoms constant? If not, when do I experience them?

• • Does anything I do make the symptoms better? Or worse?

• • Do the symptoms affect my daily activities? Which ones? How?

Go through the story in your mind and pick out the relevant information, remember, doctors like bullet points.

Just because your doctor can’t make a diagnosis does not mean that there is nothing wrong with you. In too many cases missed diagnoses happen. Be persistent about what is going on. Get a second or third opinion.

Missed diagnosis, also called delayed diagnosis or failure to diagnose, means that the medical professional did not realize a medical condition that a patient presented with signs and symptoms of. This may be because the doctor did not recognize a constellation of symptoms that should have prompted them to test for a certain condition, or because symptoms that might indicate a serious condition are also associated with a number of other, minor health issues.

Misdiagnosis means that a person with one medical condition was diagnosed by a doctor with another condition that they do not have. In the best-case scenario, a misdiagnosis results in a little frustration and the waste of some time and money. In the worst-case scenario, the treatment for the wrong condition could further sicken or kill the patient, or delay diagnosis of the true condition until it is too late for it to be successfully treated.

Common missed diagnoses  and misdiagnoses in women:

• • Heart attack

• • Heart disease

• • Autoimmune diseases (there are about 100 of these and too often the symptoms are not specific enough and you may be labeled a chronic complainer)

• • Endometriosis

• • Polycystic ovary syndrome

• • Sleep apnea

• • Breast cancer

• • Ovarian cancer

• • Lupus

• • ADD (attention deficit disorder) & ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder)

• • Stroke

• • Fibromyalgia

• • Chronic fatigue syndrome

• • Multiple sclerosis

Common missed diagnoses and misdiagnoses of men:

• • Depression

• • Fibromyalgia

• • Lung cancer

• • Colon cancer

• • Parkinson’s disease

• • Pulmonary embolism

• • Multiple sclerosis

• • Lyme disease

• • Migraines

• • Lupus

• • Obsessive compulsive disorder

Be diligent regarding your own health. You are not crazy and you are not a hypochondriac (well, most of you aren’t). Be as factual as you can be and understand that you have the clues. Get your symptoms across to your healthcare provider. Have the care recipeint be as involved as possible with all appointments. 

Pat

Why is managing your own or a loved one’s medications important? Because to get the maximum benefit, you need to know so much more than just when to take them. Medication management is one of the best ways to help your loved one maintain their health and slow the decline. 

August 10, 2022

So often you hear about the adverse reactions, the terrible side effects, and the meds not working, but what about the successes?  Actually, getting better and feeling better. What is your part and responsibility in that area? Have you ever thought that you had a part in that? You do. If there are multiple family caregivers that will be administering meds, you do need a chart to keep track of meds and when given. 

Medications Won’t Fix Everything

Medications are not going to fix everything; you will have to do your part. Medications have risks. Medications may have side effects, cause adverse reactions or not work at all for you. Only take what you need to take.

What if we treated our health like a project we wanted to do? With ideas, goals, and successes. Those things along with medications would help you to have the best quality of life possible.

Questions to ask about medications

• • Why has this medication been prescribed?

• • How does this medication work in the body?

• • What are the most common side effects?

• • Are there any serious or rare side effects that I should be aware of?

• • Will this medicine interact with others that I am taking now?

• • When will this medication begin to work?

• • What should I do if I miss a dose? What if I  accidentally take more than prescribed?

• • Should I take this medication with food or water?

• • Are there other drugs, vitamins or supplements that I should avoid while taking this medicine?

• • Are there activities that I should avoid while taking this medication?

• • Are there any foods that interact with this medication?

• • Is it safe to drink alcohol while on this medication?

• • How long will I  have to take this medicine?

• • Do you have written information about this medicine that I can take home with me?

Tools you can use to manage and organize your medications

• • Weekly pill box – best for taking your medications all at once

• • AM/PM Weekly pill box – best for those that have morning meds and evening meds

• • Four times a day weekly pill box – best for those that have to take meds multiple times per day

• • Automatic pill dispenser – has a clock timer and can be set to dispense only at certain times & it is locked

• • Reminder Apps – best if you keep your phone with you all the time and need a reminder

• • Pre-packaged meds from your pharmacy – can be customed packaged

• • Pre-packaged meds from online pharmacy – see each site for rules/regulations

Keep a Current Medications List

Medication List – Keep it current, update it after every change in medication

Get an Index card, you can use paper, but you will be mad when it gets wet and rips or tears.

This is the minimum information that you need,  Drug name and strength, How you take it? (times per day), Why you are taking it?, Prescriber name

Fold it up and keep it in your wallet.

Medication Managment Needs

Take your medications as prescribed. If you are having problems, contact your prescriber. Maybe your dose has not had time to work. Maybe you are underdosed? Maybe, you are overdosed? Talk with your doctor. Start Low and Go Slow is a good motto when beginning new medications. It may have to be increased to get to the maximum dose and maximum benefit. Take medications correctly. If you are using multiple mouth inhalers, you need to learn the proper order and the proper timing of each inhaler. 

Why are you taking this?

Know if you are taking a medication “off-label.” Off-label means that a medication has been prescribed for a use other than its intended use. For example, Seroquel® (quetiapine) or Risperdal® (risperidone). These two medications are intended to be used as antipsychotics. Most of the time they are used for behavioral problems or sleep.

Our bodies change

Changes in our bodies as we age also contribute to how we metabolize and excrete medications.. As we get older, what we took in our 40’s may be too much for us in our 50’s+.

**Note**  Any symptom in someone 60+ years and older should be considered a medication side effect until proven otherwise. **Note**

Determine your goals for treatment. Your personal goals. Your medication goals. What if we all treated our health like a work project? One we actually wanted to do. We could use the SMART goals.

Goal – A statement that describes in broad terms what you will learn from a particular treatment. It is a behavioral outcome statement.

Use SMART Goals

Specific – Be crystal clear on your goal. Not, I want to lose 20 pounds over the next year. I will lose 0.4 of a pound each week by decreasing my food intake and increasing my exercise output to equal 1,400 calories. Not, I want to feel better. Be specific, what will you do for yourself to feel better?

Measurable – Track the small tasks within each goal, especially for long-term goals. For example, track the calories you consume and track the calories that you burn in a normal week. You have set your goal to lose 20 pounds in 1 year. Whatever your normal week numbers are, you can decide to decrease your calorie intake by 200 calories per day or you can burn 200 calories per day in exercise or a combination of both. You cannot outwork a bad diet.

Attainable – Set goals that are challenging, even difficult at times, but within your reach.

Relevant – Decide what is most important to you in your life and work. What qualities or changes do you most desire? It has to be something that you want to do. You may not want to do the “tasks,” but you really want the result so you will do the tasks. If you say to yourself, “ I should” or “I need”  or “ So and So wants me to” then just stop. You will not be successful. When you can get to, “I want” or “I would like to” statements then you can be successful.

Timed – Every goal has to have a timeline to keep you on track and progressing toward success.

A goal without the parameters of the SMART goals is just wishing.  Your willpower will give out, and all you will have is your discipline.

Use this template to practice your goal setting.

SMART Goal

Action Plan

What steps do you need to take to get you to your goal?

Potential Obstacles and Solutions

Pat

November 24, 2021

Signs your aging parent needs help

It is that time of year. We go to visit our parents and/or other family members for more than three hours. Maybe you haven’t seen them for a few months or since last year. Sure, everyone is on their best behavior, for a while. “For a while,” is the key. Covering up and hiding things can be done for a few hours. The conversations are general. The house is clean (in the living room, dining room and probably kitchen). What about the rest of the house? What do the cars look like?

When you haven’t seen someone every week, you notice things that are amiss much better. Nothing major, but a lot of little things. I get it. Holidays, family dynamics, travel, cleaning, cooking, pressures at work, etc. It is stressful. Even if it is a good and loving family time, it is still stressful.

Look and Observe

This is also a good time to stealthily check things out and observe. This is not the time to be rapid fire questioning or even questioning at all. Just look, listen and observe. It is troubling when our loved ones begin to lose their independence due to a health condition or aging. It is a big stressor for us when we realize what is happening. No matter how hard it is to look for possible issues, it will be even harder to ignore them and get blindsided at the most inopportune time. You are looking for warning signs that your parent may need some kind of home care.

Physical heath changes 

                                         Have they lost weight?

                                         Have there been any changes to their medications?

                                         Are the taking their medications correctly?

                                         Are they walking differently?

                                         Are they hesitant to get up and walk?

                                         Does it seem they are unsteady or have a fear of falling?

                                        Do you notice any cuts or bruises on forearms or legs especially?

Behavior changes

                                 Have they lost interest in things they used to enjoy?

                                 Have sleep patterns changed? Napping more, less or sleeping more or less

                                 Do they seem to be sad or angry? They may deny it, but how do they look?

                                 Are they repeating the same stories?

                                 Are they giving money to things or people that they have not done before?

                                 Are they not bathing regularly?

                                 Are they wearing the same clothes day after day?

                                 Are they losing track of time?

                                 Are they showing an increase in agitation?

                                 Are you noticing verbally or physically abusive behaviors?

Environment

                        Is there a lot of unopened mail laying around?

                        Is there more clutter than you remember before?

                        Do you see spoiled food or past expiration date food in the refrigerator?

Are there any small things undone? Ex. Burnt out light bulbs, laundry overflowing, crumbs or grime on counter tops?

Are there any dings in the car? Scratches?

Is the yardwork being kept up?

Does the cookware have burn marks in it or on the outside?

The exterior of the house is not being maintained. Gutters, spigots, painting, etc.

Cognition, Memory or Judgement 

                                                          Missing appointments?

                                                           Getting lost while walking or driving?

                                                           Trouble finding the right words?

                                                           Unable to complete sentences?

                                                           Unable to recall names of familiar people or objects?           

Unless they are in immediate danger, do not make a fuss. Plan for a time to meet later and talk. When you meet, express your concerns and your observations, they will probably become defensive. Do not get personal. Re-state your observations and how all of you can work together for solutions.  Maybe they need a check-up with their doctor? Maybe they are having issues or problems with their medications?

They may not lie, but they are not going to offer any information either

Your aging parents are not going to share things with you. They may not lie, but they are keeping secrets. Spouses will cover for each other. What one may no longer be able to do or handle the other one will step in and handle it.

High on the priority list will be an eyesight check-up and a hearing test. They may not be able to clean as well, because they cannot see as well. They may have fights or spats because they cannot hear each other and neither of them understands what is wrong with the other. Hearing also affects their balance.

Some secrets that they keep – They are falling sometimes

                                                They are in pain

                                                They are short on money

                                                They may go on spending sprees

                                                They may be drinking more

                                                Someone is financially abusing them

                                                Someone is physically or emotionally abusing them

NEVER Blame them

 These conversations can be very awkward and they may deny that anything is happening to them. Tread lightly. You want them to trust you to help and not to blame them or hurt them further by how you act towards them. Ask them if you can talk about XYZ. Share an article with them about it happening to someone else and ask their opinion and insight. If they refuse to talk or share with you then you may want to find someone else that they will talk to. Their doctor, pastor, a friend of theirs, someone they will be comfortable talking with.

You may not get anywhere with them. They may stub up and say no to your help. You can’t make them; you can only try to help them. If they are of sound mind, they get to make the decisions, even if they are the wrong decisions.

What two legal documents do you need?

July 28, 2021

How can you make sure that your business, your financial accounts, your bills are taken care of should you become incapacited for a period of time or for the rest of your life?

The two legal documents that you need are: Power of Attorney Documents

1. Durable Power of Attorney for Finances

  2.  Durable Power of Attorney for Health care

Now, all states are not the same so make sure that the forms are legal in your state.

Stop the fighting before it starts. And, you know that there will be fighting about who is taking care of what and how they are going to handle it. Choose someone who wants to be the durable power of attorney for health care and finances. It may not be the same person.

The reasons may be many for not choosing your spouse or another family member. They may not want to or even be able to be the power of attorney. Finances are just not their expertise. You can’t trust them to do what you want. They piss you off, or whatever the reason. It does not matter; it is your choice.

Plan for end-of-life care

If you do not make a choice or you do not have these powers of attorney, then the courts will decide conservatorship for you. You do not get to have any input or a say and it will take a lot of time, money and stress. Your money. A conservatorship takes a lot of time and a lot more money than getting these taken care of by a lawyer. You can even use one of the prepaid legal plans for your will and durable powers of attorney, if you are concerned about the cost. I would like for you to consider this an investment in you, your wishes and needs to be handled and done as you want them to be handled and done.

Make your wishes known, fill out your living will and then get on with your life.

Check with your bank about what they need to have in place so someone else can-do banking on your behalf using your accounts. If a durable power of attorney is over three years old, some banks will not honor the power of attorney for fear that it may have been revoked or someone else is the current power of attorney. Also, if you have a safety deposit box, make sure you have two or more people on the signature card to access the box. If not, good luck with getting into that box. It will be locked down tighter than Fort Knox.

Pick one to three people that you trust and set them up as your powers of attorney. Ask them first, then make your wishes known. What gets written down gets done. Who is the best person or persons to make medical decisions for you? Who is the best person or persons to handle your finances and bills?

If you have had these in place for over 5 years, do you need to change them or update some information?

Pat