Category: making decisions

How your attitude affects your problem solving skills

Posted on July 20, 2022 by - #caregiver, #caregivers, Emotions, making decisions

When you are frustrated, upset, or angry, you cannot problem-solve very well.

Guess what part of your brain is hijacking your normally calm, cool and collected self? The friggin’ amygdala is at it again. Fight, flight, freeze or fawn stuff. Those are the only options that we see when our amygdala is activated.

July 20, 2022

Friggin’ Amygdala and the Problem-solving Process

We know that the amygdala hijacks our abilities to make good decisions and lowers our ability to problem-solve because we cannot think about our true options. What about our attitudes? I am having a little trouble explaining attitude, so bear with me here. We each have assessments or judgments about “attitude object” We use words to describe what we like or do not like. Examples include, Like, prefer, love, do not like, hate, can’t stand, etc. We make these statements in relation to ourselves. “I like _____.” “I hate ____.” Attitudes are really evaluations that we make based on what is important to us. Our experiences are different and so our attitudes may be different too.

Attitudes are shaped by feelings and emotions. And another tidbit, emotion is sometimes the driving force behind our attitudes and behaviors.

There will be some things that you feel very strongly about. There will also be things that you don’t feel strongly about.

Structure of Attitudes

Attitude’s structure can be described in terms of three components.

    • Affective component: this involves a person’s feelings/emotions about the attitude object. For example: “I am scared of spiders”.

    • Behavioral (or conative) component: the way the attitude we have influences on how we act or behave. For example: “I will avoid spiders and scream if I see one”.

    • Cognitive component: this involves a person’s belief/knowledge about an attitude object. For example: “I believe spiders are dangerous”.

This model is known as the ABC model of attitudes.

Does a negative attitude affect problem-solving skills?

A negative attitude towards a problem makes it worse. When you think negatively, it only magnifies and deepens the emotional weight of “said problem.” You not only see the problem as a problem, you see it as an enemy or an attack on you. You can become overwhelmed and paralyzed. You know what comes next, don’t you? The downward spiral. Which makes the attitude and the problem much worse?

I like the Fish! Philosophy and want to share a little with you.

The FISH Philosophy to help problem solve

The FISH! Philosophy doesn’t promote “correct” or “approved” attitudes over others. Every situation is unique. But it is important to mindfully Choose Your Attitude. You may not control what happens to you, but you do get to decide how you respond to it.

Making a conscious choice isn’t easy, especially when a situation hijacks your emotions and drives you to react the same way you have hundreds of times before. It takes practice to take control of your response, instead of letting it control you.

Here are four tips to help you take charge and Choose Your Attitude:

1. Be aware of your inner voice
External events may trigger your feelings, but only after they go through an internal filter called your inner voice. Your inner voice starts talking to you as soon as you wake up, issuing opinions about everything you see, hear, touch, smell and feel.

Your inner voice is rarely a neutral observer. It judges each experience through the likes and dislikes you have accumulated over a lifetime. It looks for evidence that you are right and the other person is wrong. It exaggerates how bad the situation is or imagines how it might go off track. Sometimes it puts other people down. Often it puts you down, questioning your talents and capabilities.

If you want to choose your attitude, not just react, you must challenge your inner voice. Catch it in the moment, then take a step back. Instead of just accepting what it is telling you, observe it as a neutral onlooker.

Just becoming aware that it is a voice, and what it is saying is one of several possible interpretations, helps you decide how much to believe it—and the best way to respond. 

2. What’s your goal?
To mindfully choose how you respond to what life throws at you, you need a plan. Decide who you want to “be” today. Keep your goal top of mind. Select a few words that describe your intentions, such as “patient”, “open” or “helpful”. Focus on living those qualities.

Moment-to-moment awareness is key. Ask yourself throughout the day, “What is my attitude now? Is it helping me to be as effective as I can be? Is it helping the people who depend on me?”

Think ahead: What people or situations are likely to test your attitude today? What might push your buttons? Rehearse how you will respond. Reaffirm your goal and stay focused on the response that helps you achieve it.

Consider the long-term consequences of your reactions. Say a member of your team makes a bad mistake or you have a disagreement with them. Is the momentary satisfaction of tearing into them worth damaging your relationship? Disagreements and problems come and go, but your relationships are not so easily replaced.

3. Adopt a “growth” attitude
Your attitudes are shaped by how you see others—and by how you see yourself.

People with a “fixed” attitude see their abilities as set and established. They know what they’re good at and view what they’re not good at as talents they don’t have the capacity to improve (“I could never learn that!” or “I wasn’t born with a brain for that!”).

People with a fixed mindset see tasks requiring them to step outside their comfort zones as threats. Confident in what they already excel at, they fear mistakes that might threaten their identity. They only pay attention to feedback and information that confirms their beliefs.

People with a growth mindset believe they can always improve their skills. It doesn’t mean you can do anything, like play in the NBA or be an opera star. It means you never know what more is possible for you and do not limit yourself before you try. It means seeing mistakes as a chance to learn and stretch yourself.

Studies show people with growth attitudes are more engaged and empowered. They handle change more successfully. They’re more flexible and open to seeing new solutions. In workplaces that support a growth attitude, people collaborate more and feel safe to try new approaches.

4. Challenge your assumptions
It’s natural to assume the worst about other people’s motives and capabilities, especially if we don’t agree or connect positively with them. Believing they offer little of value to us, we usually try to avoid them—which doesn’t do much for team collaboration and camaraderie.

If you have a coworker or employee you think has a bad attitude or lack of motivation, move past your assumptions. Reach out. Find out why—not with accusations but with caring questions. You may learn they are dealing with a trying situation at home or work stresses you didn’t know about. Knowing this will help you respond to them more productively.

Treat them with a little kindness and encouragement and you may see a different side of them. Learn their perspective. Find out what they do well and seek their input. People tend to respond to you based on how you treat them. If not, you have chosen an attitude you can be proud of.

Back to problem-solving.

If you don’t see a problem as a disaster, you are more likely to be calm and think about your options. Are you open to looking at the problem as an opportunity? We like opportunities. Our brains like opportunities. Our brains like to brainstorm. Finding any and all possible solutions to our dilemma. Now, not everything thing will be a winner, but the whittling down comes a little later in the process.

Improve problem-solving skills

Would you like to be a more effective problem-solver? Then invite positivity into your environment. Positive attitudes increase creativity and problem-solving skills. A positive attitude also increases productivity.

    • Some ways to create a positive attitude:

    • Write down three things you are grateful for each day (not the same 3 things, either)

    • Take breaks during your day

    • Tell a few jokes, or watch a funny animal video

    • Think about the ways to have a great morning and do them

    • Don’t spread gossip, don’t listen to gossip

    • Look forward to something outside of work

    • Practice meditation, walk, work-out

    • Have some “you time”- unwind, destress, play

    • Listen to music, watch a funny TV show, read an uplifting or funny book

    • Hang-out with positive people

    • Be open to possibilities

    • Stop the “stinking thinking”

    • Sit with your feelings and acknowledge them

    • Recharge your batteries

    • Stop complaining

    • Assume responsibility, choose your response

    • Laugh

Pat

Will you ever be okay with being wrong?

Posted on December 29, 2021 by - #alzherimers, #caregiver, #parkinsons, making decisions

How many better decisions could you make IF, you felt it was okay to be wrong?

December 29, 2021

Okay to be wrong? Nope, I can’t even think it, much less say it out loud. For those of us that are “recovering” perfectionists (Remember, I am a work in progress.), still have a hard time believing that being wrong is okay. 

Trust me, I know that making a mistake can be deadly. That was drilled into us at pharmacy school. But, not every mistake will be deadly. It may cause some harm or no harm. None of us want to hurt another person, we are here to help you to get better. To thrive. My yearly average was pretty good. Some years, I made no mistakes and some years, I made one. It sucks to have to write-up the incident report. Thankfully, mine was never the wrong medication. Wrong strength, wrong dosage form (tablet instead of capsule), incorrect directions, wrong doctor name, wrong original date, wrong quantity, all count as errors or mis fills. Every mistake and every incident gets written-up and sent in to corporate.

We hate making mistakes

I hate making mistakes! I get angry at myself. I replay the incident over and over in my mind. Sometimes, I can figure out what happened and sometimes, I cannot. If it is a procedural error, such as disruption with a phone call or a customer at the window, then we can put things into place to mitigate those disruptions. If it is a look and mis-see error, usually you cannot fix that. Once you have “seen” drug, names and directions, you tend to see the same thing every time that you look at the prescription and the label. That is why it is best if a technician types in the prescription and the pharmacist checks it with fresh eyes. You always want at least two sets of eyes on it. I did not really mean to go this deep on this.

What did you learn?

The point is, if you can identify a “fix” or a better way to do it next time, then you have learned something and most likely you will not make that same mistake again. You have learned and moved forward.

Isn’t that what is best for all of us? But, no, we keep beating ourselves up for past mistakes and errors. If we do that long enough, we will never make another decision that may impact someone else.

What if we could, be a little kinder to ourselves and allow ourselves to learn from what went wrong? Learn from what did not work? We catastrophize, we imagine the worst possible outcome of an action or event. For example, “If I flunk this test, I will fail this course, I won’t graduate and I will be a failure in life.” Another one is, “If I don’t recover fully in the first two weeks, after surgery, then I will never get better and I will be in pain or disabled the rest of my life.

97% of the time, none of that is true. You keep studying and doing better in your class. If you fail, you will have to re-take it, and then you will graduate. Healing takes time and you do get better as time goes on. You do have to do your part with rehab, moving and taking your medication as directed. Your pain will lessen and you will be able to get back to your activities.

Catastrophize

I guess that we all need to catastrophize occasionally. Maybe, it keeps us on our toes? If you are going to catastrophize, then you have to go all in with your thinking. Ok, the worst has happened. Now what? Keep going.

What if we don’t catastrophize? What if we stop the automatic negative thoughts that come to us? What if the negative thinking is hurting you more than it is keeping you safe? If you always look for the bad or the worst, you will find it! The opposite is also true. If you look for the possibilities or the good, you will find that too. Stress and anxiety really does play a part in how we think about things.

You are right, sometimes things will get bad. But, not everything gets bad. We don’t deny reality, we do our best to accept it and provide the best quality of life possible. I will never give up planning and hoping for the best. I have learned that it is okay to make a mistake. It is okay to make adjustments. It is even okay, to try another approach. Trying is never failing. F.A.I.L. – First Attempt In Learning

Fear of failure, keeps us stuck

It is our own screwed up mindset that keeps us afraid and that fear of failure rears its ugly head. Our self-worth gets tied up in to how well we perform. Think of a baby that is learning to walk. How many times do they fall? How many times do we tell them, “You can do it?” Or “try again?” They are learning something new and it is going to take a little time for them to learn. What would happen if the first time that they tried to walk and fell, they just sat there and cried and never tried to walk again? We would take them to their doctor to find out what was going on. We would think, “Ok, they fell, but they can try again and again and soon they will be able to walk.”  We will even help them to get up and move those legs.

Have you ever been pushed to explain your reasoning? Even when someone is curious and really just wants to know, we get all mad and start defending our position rather than explaining. That conversation never ends well, does it? What if we can be curious and wonder about our choices. What options have we thought of? What options could be found if we talked with others?  Don’t guess. Don’t assume, ask questions when you do not understand. I like to use a round table discussion where everyone is helping to brainstorm. Everyone throws out their ideas and nothing is ruled out until after the brainstorming session has ended.

None of us is very comfortable being critiqued. If you work for a company, then you will have a yearly evaluation. Sometimes, they are not pleasant. It is not that they are bad or really even negative, just some things that we need to improve. When we realize that we are receiving feedback to help us to become better and more efficient, we tend to accept the information easier than if we think we have done something wrong. Don’t let your automatic negative thoughts run away with you. Take a minute or two and assess the situation. The people around you want you to succeed. If they don’t, then find new people to be around.

I guess we did chase a rabbit or two during this blog.

Stop trying to be perfect

Let yourself be open to learning new things. If you are wrong, admit that you are wrong. I promise you; it won’t kill you to admit such a thing. I have done it myself and it did not kill me. In fact, when I stopped trying to be perfect, most decisions became easier to make. They turned out quite well, too. I am smart enough to know when I don’t know. I find others that are smarter than me and I ask questions. I learn new things and new ways of doing things.

When you are right, don’t be an ass. Tomorrow, you could be wrong. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Decide if you want to be a leader or a follower. A leader will take charge and make a decision after considering the current options. A leader knows when they have made a mistake. A leader will say, “I have messed up. This did not work out as I had hoped. Let’s try this.” A leader will say, “We made a good choice and things are working out nicely. Thank you all for your input.” When we admit our mistakes, we make it easier for others to admit theirs. Being wrong does not mean you are bad. Being wrong does not mean you should feel shame. Being wrong is just a thing that happens sometimes.

Failure is an event, not a person

If you try to avoid mistakes, maybe you are not open to learning new things? Making mistakes does not make us a failure. Failure is an event and never a person. I wanted my techs to check me. I always told them that I had rather they be wrong than me be wrong. We need to challenge things that we think are wrong. They may or may not be wrong, but we need to find out. Question when you do not understand. Something new takes two, three or five times to hear before being understood.

Admit your mistakes. Look at the new skill you will learn. Resilience is what you learn when you get back up and try again. Resilience is one key to succeeding. You will not like making a mistake nor should you, but you do need to accept that you have made a mistake.

“My bad”

When you make a mistake what will you do? Will you pretend that it did not happen? Will you point the finger at someone else? Or will you take responsibility for your mistake and learn from it? Will you forgive yourself and move forward? If someone else makes a mistake, will you empathize with them instead of blaming them?

Besides, when you admit your own mistake … no one can ever hold it over you.

Pat

When there are no good choices, how do we make a decision?

Posted on October 27, 2021 by - #alzherimers, #caregivers, #multiplesclerosis, #parkinsons, making decisions

October 27, 2021

Right, Wrong, Good, Bad – those are the words we use to describe our decision-making choices. What makes a decision right or wrong? What makes a decision good or bad? Yeah, I know, it’s like porn. You can’t describe it, but you’ll know it when you see it.

A decision that is right for you may be wrong for me. A decision that is good for me may be bad for you. Hang on, here we go… Your perceptions and life experiences are your guides. Your gut feelings are tied in to past experiences and results. Sure, we all like to think that our decisions are made with great care and a lot of thought. Wait, I need to throw my bullshit flag.

Hear me out before you take your toys and go home. All of us have unknown biases. All of us have tunnel vision on certain issues. All of us hate the idea of even making a “wrong” decision. It is one thing to make a wrong decision for ourselves, but let that decision affect other people that we love and that piles on the stress, pressure and worry. I never want to hurt the ones that I love. I always want to make the best decisions possible. I especially want to make the right decision when it affects those that I love.

How can we make the best decision possible when we don’t recognize our biases? How can we make a good decision when we really don’t know what good resources are? To me a good resource is a trusted resource. A trusted resource often educates. A trusted resource is NOT an advertisement. Use the CRAAP test. See the bottom of the article for a worksheet.

Facts vs Truth

Facts are Facts. You don’t have to like it. Truth on the other hand takes in to consideration you own views, beliefs and ideas about a subject and sometimes you throw facts in the mix. Unknow biases. Question why you believe what you believe. Be skeptical. Can you accept what you have thought or believed most of your life could be wrong? How did that last word “wrong” make you feel? We do not want to be “wrong” ever! Change the word “wrong” to incorrect and see how that makes you feel. Can you accept that your friends and families’ beliefs and opinions may be incorrect? I am able to accept that I am incorrect. I am not inclined to believe that I am wrong. I get defensive if I am “wrong.” I can’t stand to be wrong! That is why I will do my research from trusted sources. I may not like what I have learned, but at least I know the facts and I can then figure out what will work best for me and my loved ones. Find three trusted resources and read the information using the CRAAP test information.

Be open to learning something new. Be curious. Let yourself ponder and think. We try to control the outcomes with our decision-making. Have you heard the phrase, “trust the process?” Why do people tell us that? Because we cannot control the outcome. We can only do our best. Sometimes, it is making a decision with the information that we have, right now. We may need to change our decision or update as we learn new information. That is okay. When we know better, we do better.

Regret the least

What happens we are faced with NO good choices? What do we do? How can we decide?

We make the decision that we will regret the least.

Get rid of the “should.”  Every time that you say or even think the word “should.” Stop and change that word to “Want.” What do I want? How do I want things to go? What do I really want down the road? Take time to think. Think through your options. Brainstorm and don’t dismiss anything, right now. You can pare down later. Are there compromises or alternatives?

  • What are your values, wants and needs?
  • Talk it through with a good listener. Tell them you are talking and you just want them to listen.
  • Maybe you need someone else’s perspective (maybe someone who has been in a similar situation).
  • Test out the decision in your mind. Go all the way through. Remember, you cannot control the outcome. How will this affect me in the short=term, in the long-run?
  • Doing something always beats doing nothing.
  •  Listen to your gut. Your intuition is important.
  • There is not right or wrong decision, only what is best for you and your family.
  • When all of the choices suck, which one will you regret the least?

Choice overload will cause you to not make a choice. Paralysis by analysis is a real thing. Too much information will keep you on the indecision wheel. Find 3 choices by doing your research with trusted resources. Realize that decision fatigue happens to all of us. Making tough decisions takes a lot of time and a whole lot of energy. You will second guess yourself. Go with what you know and not how you feel once you have made your decision. Accept that there will probably be trade-offs. Know what your values are. What is important to you.

Very few decisions can’t be changed or updated. Try to find a “both/ and” decision rather than an “either/or” decision.

Sometimes you will have to make a decision that you will regret the least. Be kind to yourself.

Pat

 

The CRAAP Test Worksheet

Use the following list to help you evaluate sources. Answer the questions as appropriate, and then rank each of the 5 parts from 1 to 10 (1 = unreliable, 10 = excellent). Add up the scores to give you an idea of whether you should you use the resource (and whether your teacher would want you to!).

Currency: the timeliness of the information………………………………………………………………………..

• When was the information published or posted?

• Has the information been revised or updated?

• Is the information current or out-of date for your topic?

• Are the links functional?

Relevance: the importance of the information for your needs…………………………………………….

• Does the information relate to your topic or answer your question?

• Who is the intended audience?

• Is the information at an appropriate level?

• Have you looked at a variety of sources before choosing this one?

• Would you be comfortable using this source for a research paper?

Authority: the source of the information……………………………………………………………………………

• Who is the author/publisher/source/sponsor?

• Are the author’s credentials or organizational affiliations given?

• What are the author’s credentials or organizational affiliations given?

• What are the author’s qualifications to write on the topic?

• Is there contact information, such as a publisher or e-mail address?

• Does the URL reveal anything about the author or source?

Accuracy: the reliability, truthfulness, and correctness of the content…………………………………………

• Where does the information come from?

• Is the information supported by evidence?

• Has the information been reviewed or refereed?

• Can you verify any of the information in another source?

• Does the language or tone seem biased and free of emotion?

• Are there spelling, grammar, or other typographical errors?

Purpose: the reason the information exists……………………………………………………………

• What is the purpose of the information?

• Do the authors/sponsors make their intentions or purpose clear?

• Is the information fact? opinion? propaganda?

• Does the point of view appear objective and impartial?

• Are there political, ideological, cultural, religious, institutional, or personal biases?

Total:

45 – 50 Excellent | 40 – 44 Good

35 – 39 Average | 30 – 34 Borderline Acceptable

Below 30 – Unacceptable

Created by Juniata College

Wednesday Wonderings… How to decide what to do, what to delegate and what to mark off the list.

Posted on October 13, 2021 by - #alzheimers, #caregivers, #parkinsons, Decision criteria, making decisions

October 13, 2021

What do you do when you have multiple “To do” lists or your “To do” list has a “to do list?’ Do you get laser focused and start at the top? Do you put it away? Do you do the most important thing first or do you do the one that takes the least amount of time first?

What criteria do you use to make decisions at work? What about, at home with your family? What about with your friends? Hang on… your head may begin to hurt in a little while. What criteria or values do we use to make decisions? What about our intuition and gut instinct?

The average adult makes about 35,000 decisions every day or so we are led to believe. I don’t think there have been any studies on that but the point is…we make a lot of decisions every day and we get tired. I did find one study that was documented by Cornell University that we make about 226 decisions every day about food. The biggest decision about food is where to go eat. Talk about back and forth.

At first I was just going to help pare down the number of decisions made per day, but, no, it always gets more complicated. I did find some information to make it easier on you to make decisions. Think about what is going on inside your mind when you are thinking about a decision that needs to be made. What are all the parameters or guidelines must you deal with? How do you decide what is the most important decision to make, right now? Hell, how many decisions do you have to consciously make on this one problem?

Habits are good for us. They help us to save brain function energy. How many things do you do on automatic? What have you put into your morning routine? You no longer have to think about it, you just do it. It does not use your brain energy. By the way, you only have so much focused brain energy per day. I believe it is about 3 hours. Remember when you were learning to ride a bicycle? You had to listen to instructions, process them in your mind, think about each and every step, in order, to pedal and keep your balance. After crashing a few times, you learned to keep peddling and turn before you went off the side of the road and down the bank. You kept practicing and you kept getting better and better. Soon, you could jump on that bike and ride for hours. You got to the point that you just knew what to do and how to do it. You no longer had to concentrate, think, remember and do the steps in order.

Driving to work. It took a while, but you learned the route. Uh oh, the road you usually use is blocked off. Now what are you going to do? Some of you are going to cuss. Some of you are going to use the alternate route that you already know, because, you know that you need to know 3 different ways to get somewhere. Others are going to have to use their phones or other travel route providers. How tight does your jaw get when you don’t know where you are and you are not sure that you can find your building going the back roads. How much time and brain energy does that one little mess up cause you? Probably about 20 minutes plus a cortisol dump that you will have to contend with and calm down from in order to actually focus at work. That is probably another 30 to 40 minutes. You cannot think rationally right after a cortisol dump, it is physiologically impossible. Now you are down to 2 hours of focused energy for the day. Hmm.

It is always the “new things” that pop up that cause the problems. The new things to learn that take time, effort and a lot of energy. We look for ways to decrease our energy expenditure and having habits or routines help us out with that. Issues to decide upon that we have never had to think about before. Those issues take time, effort and energy. Don’t forget about everything else that is running round in your mind that you “need” to deal with too. If you can compartmentalize, maybe you can give yourself enough of a break that you can deal with one situation at a time. There again, how do you decide what to tackle first out of that list of 10 things to be done?

What is important to you? What are your core values? The principles that you use to live your life. Your own judgement of what is important in your own life. Do you have a standard of behavior that you expect out of yourself? What would your life look like and how much easier would your decision making be if you truly searched for your personal core values and used them in your decision making? You could make better decisions and save brain energy. Win-win!

How do you find what your core values are? It is a process and you will be glad that you did the process. Once you know your 10 core values you will always be able to make easier decisions that line up with your belief system. When you make decisions that line up with your belief system you feel more at ease, more comfortable and even relaxed.

How to Identify Your Values – Ask yourself the following questions

  1. When were the times that you were the happiest?
  2. What makes me happy?

What is the common theme or thread behind the last three positive decisions you made? What gives you true happiness in your life? What were you doing?

  • What makes me feel proud?

Why were you proud? An achievement, met a goal, exceeded expectations

  • What have I done that makes me feel happy and satisfied with the outcome?

A personal success usually relates to making a good decision. Maybe your decision provided great results for someone else.

  • When was the last time that I felt fulfilled or complete?

When you satisfy your values, a sense of fulfillment or a feeling of completeness usually follows.

  • From the list below or from your own list, choose your top 10 values, in no particular order. Then you are going place them in order of importance and maybe even get rid of a few. Sometimes we do have situational ethics, (an “it depends” kind of issue) and there are some things that are deal breakers. You may find you have two or three absolutes or maybe five or six. If you have trouble putting the values in order of importance, look at them two at a time and ask yourself, “If I could satisfy only one of these values, which one would I choose?”

https://thehappinessplanner.com/pages/list-of-core-values

You may find other lists online as well.

It may be hard to narrow down your list, but do so for your own good mental health. Some of the values listed can be placed under an umbrella term also on the list.

What happens if you have conflicting values? Which value is more important to you at this time? What might things look like if you could honor both values?

Your values are formed by your thoughts. You have been thinking, adjusting and growing in your thoughts since you were born. A word of caution, be sure they are your own thoughts and values and not what you have been programmed. We all have unknown biases. We have all grown up accepting things and now that we can think for ourselves, we are supposed to question what we were told or taught and we are supposed to figure out “stuff.”

Are the decisions that you make in line with your own values? When a choice makes you feel uneasy, be still and think about why you are feeling that way. What is you gut telling you? Intuition (gut knowing) is as important as facts and good data information. That is an article for another day.

You want to know what is important to you before a crisis hits. Have you gone against you values or principles before? How did that work out? How did you feel? Prioritize your top 3 most important values.

  • Do these values make you feel good about yourself?
  • Are you proud of the top 3 values you have chosen?
  • Do these values represent things you would support even if it puts you in the minority?

Making a decision may not be easy, but it will be easier.

I like the Eisenhower Matrix (box) to help folks to figure out what is urgent and important. Urgent and unimportant. Not urgent but important. Not urgent and not important. Using this box can make you life easier. I would suggest that you use the box a few times to get used to it and then you will probably be able to do it in your head.

Other tips:

Work from a “To do” list with only 3 things on it. That is all you will have time to focus on anyway.

Consider decision making criteria

  • Your purpose
  • Your strengths
  • Your skills
  • Your values
  • Your effort and energy required
  • Your cost
  • Your acceptable risk levels

If you are having a rough time or do not feel well, it is fine to wait on an important decision. My hope for you is that you prepare a plan or make most decisions ahead of a crisis. If you need some help with this, let’s talk and see if I may be of service to you or your loved one.

Pat

865-684-8771